Consistency is the key to change

So we’ve made it to the end of January, hooray! Doesn’t it always feel like the longest month ever (apart from the last month of pregnancy of course, which is officially the longest month ever)!  Every year I find January a bit of a slog, I’m not sure if it’s the cold,
the dark, the post Christmas blues or a mix of all of these put together but it sucks!

The start of a new year always feels a little pressured to make change and be a ‘new you’.  It’s very tempting to try and make dramatic changes such as; crash diets, going to the gym every day, planning to run a marathon, giving up alcohol, going vegan, you know the sort of thing.  We all want to see a quick fix, why wouldn’t we?

Unfortunately it doesn’t normally take long for the motivation to die and for us to realise making significant changes is actually very, very hard work.  Anyone recovering from a mental health issue will of course already be very aware that there are no quick fixes but it doesn’t stop us hoping.

So here’s the bit you probably won’t want to hear. 

To make positive change you have to be consistent, you have to make small daily changes which you stick to, they can’t be massive changes as they aren’t maintainable.

Of course if you are recovering from something like OCD or maybe an addiction of some kind you really have no choice, you have to make the changes and attempt to stay on track.

The trick is not to give yourself a hard time, you will mess up now and again and that’s OK.  Never loose site of the path you’re on, no mater how slowly you’re walking it.  Accept that there may never be an end goal, it’s all about the process of moving in the right direction and getting closer to where you need to be.  Where you end up may look nothing like the way you thought it would when you get there and that could be a good thing.

I’m looking at moving careers very soon and I’m starting some training in March, it all feels very overwhelming at the moment but I just have to remember to do a small amount each day and it will eventually pay off.

Changes don’t have to be an all or nothing thing either, you haven’t failed if you slip up  or make changes gradually over time.

I’ve wanted to be meat free for a while now and more recently I have started removing meat from more and more of our weekly meals.  In the next couple of months the meat will disappear completely but for now if there’s a tin of tuna in the cupboard I’m not going to get stressed about it or throw it away I’m just going to use it up and not buy anymore.  I know even the small changes I’m making are heading in the right direction for me and over time they will pay off.  There is no big rush, life is a marathon not a sprint.

It’s very easy to just think about the goals and not enjoy the journey you’re on but we need to be more mindful about where we are in life and appreciate what is going on around us.  If we are living in the future then we aren’t really living, make every day count.  Go to bed each day feeling like you’ve taken a little step closer to where you want to be and that you are heading in the right direction.  Be kind to yourself and know you are doing the best you can.  Lets make 2020 a good one!

As always, Stay Strong xxx

Dealing with anxiety

Over the last year anxiety has become my constant friend, everything seems to trigger it and though I continue to try and push myself to do things – knowing that I have to go through it to get better – it really doesn’t seem to be going anywhere and so I find myself thinking, ‘will it just always be there?‘.

This is a very scary thought but is it a realistic one?  So many things seem to trigger it and so how am I ever going to get to a stage where I can just, not be anxious?  Sometimes I’m not even sure why it’s there at all?  If I’m in a new situation, meeting someone new or in an unfamiliar place I get it but why would I feel anxious when trying to decide what to cook for tea?  Or getting ready to go out for the day or even just walking along the pavement?

Are we all just a bit more anxious nowadays? 

Life is incredibly busy and we do put so much pressure on ourselves to be – or at least appear to be – perfect.  Is social media to blame?  Do we honestly think that everyone else has it ‘sorted’?  Are we afraid of looking weak or less than?  Do we think others will judge us?  Why does it matter if they do?  Or is there just some deep bedded shit from our past that we have to work through?

I’m personally not sure how we are supposed to process this stuff but being aware of it I would guess is the first step.  Ultimately you’re trying to reprogram things that have been ingrained in you for years and this takes a lot of work and being present, you can’t just expect the body to change without being conscious of what it is doing.  So how do we tune into our bodies more?

Yoga

I have recently upped my yoga attendance as I find this practice really helps me tune into my body, I have done yoga for years but more recently it has taken on a new meaning to me.  I used to go for exercise, to increase my flexibility and to help with my sciatic pain but I almost feel like I used to do it mindlessly, just following the instructors commands and not really understanding the affect the postures have on the body.  The meditation at the end I just used to find boring and I didn’t really get the point of it but now I tune into my body and feel it buzzing with energy after a practice, something which has made me cry on more then one occasion!  I am so obsessed with Yoga now that I am doing my teacher training next year and can’t wait to understand more about the practice.  I would highly recommend it to anyone feeling anxious.

Mindfulness

We need to live outside of our heads more and not be consumed by our thoughts. It is far too easy to live mindlessly day to day, our mind actually helps us to live mindlessly by putting our daily activities into routines so we can do things without really thinking about them.  Does this sound familiar:

Get up, eat breakfast, shower, brush teeth, get in car, drive to work, switch PC on, etc, etc

How many new thoughts did you have along the way?  The mind thinks it’s helping you out by taking the thinking out of your repetitive daily activities but actually it’s doing you a disservice as you are mindlessly moving through life.  Try and mix up your morning routine, or any routine if you can.  Drive/walk a different route to work or change what you have for breakfast so you are consciously making decisions and being more mindful.

Meditation

Here’s one that’s supposed to be transformative but to be honest I struggle with this one too!  I will do anything to try and avoid it or ‘not have the time’ for it.  It’s so important to try and tune into your body and notice how you are feeling, this is how we pick up on the little things the body is trying to tell us.  I am going to try harder at this one.

Less sugar and caffeine

Trying to keep your body in equilibrium so it’s not spiking and dipping all day is also really important but again another really tricky one which I’m not great at either, I really do love my coffee.  Maybe moderation and baby steps is the way to look at this one to make it achievable?

Spend less time on your phone and more time in the real world

I probably don’t need to explain this one, we all know we do it and just reducing it maybe before bedtime, during meal times for first thing in the morning will have a positive effect.  Technology is part of life, like food this one is all about moderation and knowing when you’ve been on your phone too long.

Get outside more

Again this one is probably pretty obvious but try your best to spend at least part of your day outside, even if it’s just a walk at lunch time and take some deep breaths while your out there!

Be kind to yourself

Look after yourself and don’t beat yourself up, you’re doing your best and you won’t always get it right but as long as you’re trying that’s all you can ask of yourself.

I’m still working on some of these myself but I’m really hoping my anxiety levels are going to start to improve over the next few months. I think a lot of the time we know what we should be doing but actually making the changes seems hard work,  Just take one step at a time and don’t expect radical changes these things happen slowly, we are trying to change habits which have been formed over a lifetime and that’s going to take some work.

As always,

Stay Strong xxx

OCD – Responsibility

I expect there is an official term for this type of OCD but I’m not aware of it.  Basically it’s intrusive thoughts which occur when asking other people to do things for you.

for example: Say I asked my husband to go and pick something up from the shop for me, I would then have intrusive thoughts about all the things that could potentially happen to him on the way or whilst he’s there and I would then feel responsible for those things: I asked him to go, he’s only there because of me. Therefore I am responsible for anything that happens to him during this time.

This is another way OCD can isolate you very successfully, not only are you scared to go out yourself because of your OCD thoughts and anxieties, but you also become scared to ask anyone to help you in any way in case something happens to them, making you feel more and more alone.  OCD is such a bully, it wants you to be alone and suffering in your mental torment forever.  It can also make you come across as indecisive as you internally struggle with whether to get someone to drop the kids off at school or pick something up from the shops on the way home.

Unfortunately I don’t have an easy answer for this one either, sorry.  You just have to be stronger than it somehow.

  • Distraction is probably a good method, ask someone to do something and then do everything you can to keep yourself busy.
  • Having the knowledge that the other person has their own free will and that you cannot control everything.  I think that’s a big one with OCD and anxiety, you have to accept that you cannot control or know the outcome to everything and actually you probably wouldn’t want to given the choice.
  • Practice your mindfulness, be in the moment now and not in the unknown future worrying about things that will probably never happen.
  • Ride it out, anxiety can only be at it’s peak for a limited time, your body cannot sustain it for too long so breath and know it will pass.
  • Don’t catastrophise – which you obviously have if you’re in this situation.
  • Talk to someone, it could even be the person you’re worrying about.

Hopefully some of the above can help, I work on these things daily and slowly things get easier but it’s a long old road and some days it’s definitely tougher than others.  Remember you’re not alone and as always

Stay Strong xxx

 

Breathing

So I’ve done Yoga for many years and for anyone who’s done Yoga at all you’ll be aware that there’s normally a bit of meditation involved and some deep breathing and to be honest I normally find this part a bit dull.  I’ve also been on courses where I’ve learnt about the importance of breathing to get through fight or flight and all about the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system and how to balance them, I’ve learnt about heart math and it’s benefits and I’ve even blogged on here for over two years about how important breathing and mindfulness is but it wasn’t until today whilst listening to a Happy Place podcast with Rebecca Dennis that the impact of my breath on my entire life really hit me.

A good few years ago when I first met my husband he used to say to me quite often:

‘You’re holding your breath again’

Now, I just used to find this ‘pointless’ information annoying but today it REALLY hit me that this is actually the root of all my issues.  This is why yoga and meditation when I do them actually help me A LOT.  I hold my breath literally all the time, I’m doing it NOW, whilst writing this post, I can feel myself doing it!

I honestly think this is going to change my life.  I have been doing my meditations more (admittedly not everyday) but even that is starting to help and I am definitely going to continue with it.

Just stopping now and listening to my breath, its not smooth its not even, I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long to be honest!

I am sure I will need to do some work on what has caused me to hold my breath in this way but at least now I am aware of it and I can move forward.

Hopefully this will help someone else too,

Stay Strong xxx

 

Mindfulness

So what feels like years ago I said something along the lines of,

‘I’m going to give mindfulness a go because I’ve dabbled in it and it seems to work’. 

So it was actually Oct 2017 and to be honest I haven’t really got any further along my mindfulness journey which is incredibly disappointing.

Recently I’ve been feeling incredibly stressed and anxious, my stomach problems have been getting worse and I’ve felt quite out of control – which I HATE – I don’t seem to be able to find a diet which suits me and I am struggling to think clearly as my mind fog comes and goes.  Even sitting myself down to write this blog post has been a challenge but I know it is important that I do.

So also about a year ago I downloaded a mindfulness app, it has a feature that lets you put in an alert so that every day you get a reminder to do just 5 minutes (initially) of mindfulness meditation, should be easy right?  Every evening I see it pop up on my phone and every evening I just ignore it and carry on with whatever I am doing – I obviously have no time for that.  Writing this now I know my husband is going to give me a hard time about this, I know alright, insert rolling eyes emoji here.  I also know he only does it because he loves me.

We are very self destructive as humans, we almost rebel against the things we know do us good.  We know we should eat well, exercise, drink in moderation, not smoke or do drugs, we should meditate and sleep for 8 hours each night etc etc.  So why don’t we do these things?  Is it because we think it makes us boring?  I know personally when I start  trying to do all these things I feel very overwhelmed and you have to be very determined as no one else seems to be doing them so there’s very little support.

I went round a friends house yesterday and out on the floor were two cakes and a bag of cookies and then the conversation was all about trying to loose weight.  What is wrong with us?  Does it just take a bit more effort and therefore we can’t be bothered?

Anyway I digress, this post was supposed to be about mindfulness meditation.  So this week when that notification on my phone pops up, an much as I know I’m not going to want to I’m going to try and take that five minutes and tune in with my body because I owe it to myself.

I will let you know how it goes, stay tuned and of course as always,

Stay Strong xxx

 

OCD – Combating the affects

So I’ve had a little break from blogging over the last month.  Really because my life just got stupidly busy but also partly because I find it easier to blog when I am having an OCD ‘episode’ for want of a better word.  It’s much easier to be honest and helpful rather then preachy if I am experiencing what I am blogging about at the time.  I guess one of the only downsides of recovery is that this happens less often and therefore I have less to share.

I have a lot going on at the moment and I have found that it’s come with a barrage of OCD and anxiety, oh joy!  One of the upsides of being very busy though is that I don’t really have any time to give to the thoughts and so although they are coming at me, I am able to bat them away with relative success.  This is obviously also a result of a lot of hard work over the years as in the past it wouldn’t matter how busy I was, the thoughts would still consume me.

So even though I’ve been doing my best over the last month I have had a couple of little ‘blips’ which, luckily I have managed to shake off but still it’s a very unwelcome reminder of how easy it is to slip back and how all consuming OCD can be.

I think the word consume is quite fitting when it comes to OCD, when a thought gets me that I just can’t shake for one reason or another it feels like all the light, joy and happiness has been sucked out of my world and there is just an all consuming darkness which comes over me.  I would imagine this is a bit what depression must feel like too.  It doesn’t matter how much good stuff you have going on, you just can’t break free.

Getting things done while suffering from OCD has always been tough for me.  As each activity throughout the day normally has some sort of associated OCD thought.  It can be a lot easier to avoid doing anything, this is definitely something I still battle daily.

Confidence is something else that my OCD has robbed me of and I am really unsure about how I will ever truly rebuild this part of my personality.  It has been pretty much ripped to shreds by a mental illness which is completely relentless.

Right so I don’t mean to moan, this blog is all about finding ways to combat OCD, including all the things I’ve just mentioned above.

So we have the:

All consuming thoughts

Well if you have OCD you’ll know how hard it is to combat the all consuming thoughts, after all this is pretty much what OCD is.  I’ve talked about lots of ways to fight thoughts in this blog but I’ve got to say I think the some of the things that work the best for me are:

  • Be mindful, somehow bring your thoughts back to what is right in front of you and don’t let your mind wonder onto if’s, but’s or maybes.
  • Distract yourself with a new task/conversion/activity/anything to bring your mind  away from the intrusive thought.
  • Accept that the darkness/doubt feeling won’t lift straight away, you need to be patient with yourself
  • Breathe

The procrastination from fear

The procrastination unfortunately is something you just have to face head on.  There is no way around it, you just have to go through it.  I quite often find that the anticipation is worse than the actual event and that once you have got something done sometimes the thoughts just disappear.

Sometimes they don’t and you have to work on dismissing them the other end but if you move strongly from one task to the next and don’t give yourself time to think on the past event, then sometimes you can’t even remember what it is you were worrying about, how wonderful!  Being busy is definitely your friend and OCD knows this and tries to stop you doing things, don’t let it!

The lack of confidence

The confidence thing is something I really need to work on, because of my false memory OCD it is really hard to to truly believe and trust in myself and my own judgement.  There aren’t many people in this world who want to build you up and you really have to believe in yourself to succeed.  It’s something really worth working on, it’s all about baby steps I guess and knowing that you’re just as good as everyone else.  Don’t let that OCD bully knock you down.

I hope some of my thoughts have been of use, OCD really is an ongoing daily battle but it can really help to know you’re not battling it alone and so thanks for all the positive feedback.

Stay Strong xxx

 

Magical Thinking – OCD

It feels weird to actually put proper names to things which have been part of me for so long.  ‘Magical thinking OCD’ is, I think one of the hardest parts of OCD for someone without it to understand.  For someone with ‘Magical thinking OCD’ it is one of the most terrifying parts, there is no rhyme or reason to it.  You are aware as someone with OCD experiencing the thoughts that they are completely irrational but the feelings inside our so strong you can’t not believe the thoughts somehow.

With a very quick google this definition came up, which for those who don’t have ‘Magical thinking OCD’ I thought summed it up quite well:

” Magical thinking is an illogical thought pattern characterized by the linking of unrelated actions or events. Individuals may become preoccupied with lucky or unlucky numbers, colours, words, actions, sayings or superstitions and link them to catastrophe or ‘bad things’ that might happen”

I have had lots of these ‘magical thoughts’ over the years.  I hated the colour red (blood, contamination etc) and certain words like AIDS (still hard to even write it here).  I have also had massive issues with the ‘finalisation’ of things.  Such as thoughts associated with leaving somewhere for the last time (maybe a holiday cottage) or clicking the ‘buy’ button online, as if a horrible thought comes into my head whilst I was doing it, such as: ‘You’re going to die from cancer’ then because I can’t repeat the action (compulsion) it creates anxiety and all the associated OCD baggage.

I still get a lot of these ‘Magical thoughts’ but it has been a long time since I’ve given into any of the associated compulsions.

Over the years it has made doing almost anything particularly stressful and taken the pleasure out of pretty much everything.  Wedding dress shopping, venue picking, holidays, travel, work, driving, well everything.

It is one of the hardest aspects of OCD to kick and it’s one of the most embarrassing to talk about because you know in your heart of hearts that the thoughts are irrational but you just can’t get your mind to believe that.

Getting over ‘Magical thoughts’ does take some determination and will power I’m afraid. You have to ignore the horrific outcomes that your brain is throwing at you and just do things.  It’s unbelievably hard and getting over the anxiety afterwards is also hard but

IT IS POSSIBLE!!!! 

You can do it and I am living proof.

Little tricks that have helped me include:

  • Mindfulness – I cannot express enough how amazing mindfulness is at bringing you back to reality and away from the irrational thoughts.
  • Acceptance – That you cannot control everything and bad things as well as good will happen, this is life after all.
  • My little trick from a good few blogs ago of opposite thinking

‘If I go back and repeat the action then does that make the outcome more likely to happen?’

You could argue that this is still magical thinking in a way but it does seem to nicely mess with my OCD thoughts and in a good way!

  • Like yourself:  It depends a little on what the associated thought is but if it’s something you’re scared you will do like say:

‘Stab someone’

Then learn to like yourself and so know yourself incapable of the thought/action and therefore you can dismiss it more easily.

  • Talk to someone – no matter how out there the thought may seem, by voicing it out load – this can even be initially to yourself – it will start to loose it’s power over you.  This sounds like it wouldn’t work but it definitely does.
  • Let the thought be – Do not query it, question it, poke it, anything.  Just distract yourself and get on with the next task.

The more you let the thoughts be, the easier it becomes every time.  Even though the thoughts still come, you will be able to dismiss them quicker and quicker, like a ‘normal’ person would (I put quotes around normal as I don’t actually think normal exists) and an hour later you won’t even remember the thought you had, hard to believe I know but this is true.

If I’ve had a bad nightmare, then in the morning I consciously make an effort not to think on it at all when I wake up.  If you then asked me at midday what the nightmare was about I wouldn’t be able to tell you. However if I go over and over it in my head when I wake, I will definitely remember.  This can be used with intrusive thoughts just as well.

You really can beat ‘Magical thinking OCD’, it’s hard but anything in life worth having is hard right?

You can do this!

Stay strong xxx

 

OCD – Setting yourself up to fail

So once you’ve had OCD for a while you start to know what your ‘triggers’ are.  These ‘triggers’ can then start to control your behaviour.  For me, public toilets, driving at night and drinking are just three of the things I can think of that can cause me anxiety, even before an event occurs.  Most of this anxiety is triggered I guess, from past experiences.

If I go into a public toilet and there’s something on the seat, this will cause anxiety, intrusive thoughts etc but I’m going to take a punt and say not many people would like to sit on something unknown on a toilet seat?

Unfortunately for me that’s just where it begins, if there is a mark on the toilet paper dispenser or on the toilet roll itself – here’s betting most people don’t even look at the toilet roll – these can immediately trigger intrusive thoughts which can stay with me for at least the rest of the day.  I’ve already mentioned in a previous post that I always rip off the first piece of toilet roll wherever I am through fear of contamination.  If someone has placed the toilet roll on top of the sanitary bin or on the floor then that can be game over, I just turn around and walk back out.

I’ve already blogged about driving and some of the anxiety it causes me but at night I would say everything is multiplied and it’s much harder to dismiss, potholes, bumps in the road, noises from the car etc.  I would say every time I drive somewhere at night I get back home and there’s some sort of intrusive thought on my mind which I just can’t budge, so frustrating.

So if you start to get anxious before you even get to your ‘trigger’ situation you are completely setting yourself up to fail.  Your mind is already putting the thoughts into your head before you’ve even tried and so it creates a viscous cycle, which causes reluctance to do things and go places and so starts to create behavioural changes.

I’m not sure I will ever completely free myself of some of my OCD intrusive thoughts and thinking patterns, some of them are so ingrained in me after so many years.  I do still make myself face them day in and day out but who knows if I will ever completely win.  I guess the fact that I’m not letting them stop me doing things nowadays is a win in itself.  To live life without the thoughts at all is the battle.

So the point of this post was to try and find a way of avoiding the preemptive anxiety, somehow trying not to fail before you’ve even tried.  It’s such a tricky one because as soon as you start thinking about the situation you’ll probably start feeling anxious about it, another one of those ‘don’t think about the pink elephant in the room’ situations.

I would say the best way to try to combat the preemptive anxiety would be mindfulness.  If you are living in the moment then you shouldn’t be worrying about whats happening later.  If you know you have one of your triggers coming up, then do everything you can not to think ahead to it until you have to, this should help to stop the anxiety kicking in too early.

Every time you face one of your fears and succeed make a mental note of how amazing you are for beating the OCD and anxiety.  We never give ourselves enough credit when we do well and we always beat ourselves up when we are weak – human nature I guess. Make a list of every win and refer back to it every time you are struggling.

Stay Strong xxx

 

 

Mindfulness in Practice – Part 1

So a couple of posts ago I said I was going to start looking a bit deeper into mindfulness.  It’s something I’ve only really dabbled in previously but I have found that it seems to work, so wanted to see what else I could find out.  I haven’t made huge progress so far – having a one year old doesn’t give you much spare time – however I did read something today which I managed to use quite successfully, so I thought I would, as promised, ‘pay it forward’ so to speak.

I am currently reading: Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world at the start of this book there is a section about how your posture, movement, facial expressions etc can affect your mood and the moods of others.  So for example if you smile – even if you don’t feel like smiling – you will feel happier, other people will see you and smile back.  The same goes for more depressed postures, if you are slouched with your head hanging low you are more likely to feel low and pass this on to others around you.  Obviously the book goes into it in much more detail but you get the general gist.

So today I drove to a roadshow – I think that’s the right term?  Basically an event where, lots of businesses come together to sell you things.  For me something like this is filled with anxieties: driving somewhere I’ve never been before, actually finding the place, parking, talking to lost of strangers, crowds (man I hate crowds), I could go on and on and to add to all the pressures, I had my one year old with me as well, nothing like putting yourself out there.

So I’ve been making big strides forward with my recovery and I know to get over a lot of mental issues you have to face them head on – that’s what I keep preaching on here right?  So when I tried to think of a reason not to go today, there really wasn’t an easily justifiable one.

Anyway I digress.

To be honest it mostly went well, I got lost once on the way but found it eventually and even found a double parking space, yippee!  When my little boy started to run around the presentation and wanted to get up on stage, I coped and everyone seemed to find it funny rather than irritating but eventually it all got a bit much for him and he really started to play up.  I can’t really blame him, it’s not the most exciting place for a one year old.

The challenge however really came when I got back to the car, he’d definitely had enough by this point and flatly refused to get back into his car seat.  I could feel the stress which I’d managed to keep in check up until this point starting to rise, could feel myself getting hotter, how was I going to get him back in his seat, everyone’s watching, argh!

Then I remembered what I had read in the mindfulness book, if I’m getting stressed my little boy will feel stressed, if I’m getting angry, my little boy will just get angrier too and so, I laughed, I looked up at the sky, took a long deep breath and started to laugh and do you know what happened?

My little boy started laughing too, all of the anger and tears of frustration which he had been displaying just seconds earlier just disappeared – well for long enough for me to get him strapped in anyway.  I’m not gonna lie I did have to sing nursery rhymes all the way home.

I know in that moment I was so happy I had read that chapter this morning.

Well that turned into a bit of an essay so I hope it all made sense.  Mindfulness really is incredible and by just being aware of how you are projecting yourself you can completely change a situation for the better, what a powerful tool to have.

Stay Strong xxx

OCD – Looking on the Bright Side

OCD can feel very oppressive at times, so I realise the thought of looking on the bright side could be laughable at times.  However the further I travel along my OCD journey the more I see that there are aspects of OCD which you could look on positively.

Here are some of the brighter aspects of my OCD:

I feel like I appreciate things more

It’s very easy day to day to forget about how lucky we are.  A lot of the time OCD intrusive thoughts are born out of the fear of loosing what we have, whether that’s your lifestyle, freedom, the people you love, your health, the list goes on.  I think my OCD makes me appreciate what I have much more than I otherwise would. 

I care about others more

I feel like I have more compassion for others and a bit more insight when trying to understand peoples actions.  As we are all well aware, you don’t always know whats going on in someones mind.  

I am more active

Anyone recovering from mental illness should know the benefits of exercising.  There’s no better motivator then the possibility of feeling better. 

I am more social 

For me being in the house, on my own, for long periods of time, is very detrimental and so my OCD has pushed me to take part in activities, interact with people more and get out as much as I can.  It definitely stops me being lazy and as a result I do more and have more friendships and fun.  

I am becoming calmer (slowly!)

OCD recovery is a slow process and it’s not normally all in one direction unfortunately but every time I fall back, I also come back a little bit stronger and I know one day I will get there.  OCD has taught me patience, it’s making me calmer and more peaceful.  It’s taught me mindfulness and allowed me to understand myself better.

Yes, I still battle daily and it’s worth it because all the good things that have come out of my OCD have all come from the recovery I’m currently wading through.  So if you’ve happened upon this blog and you’ve just been diagnosed or you’re having a bad day and finding your recovery hard, I urge you to write down all the good things you’ve discovered about yourself as a result of your OCD.  Know that when you come out the other side you will be stronger, happier and more at peace.

I hope this has helped to throw some light onto what can so often be a very dark place.

OCD after all is all about thinking about things differently, is it not?

Stay strong xxx