Tag: Beating OCD

Navigating OCD: Essential Tips During Tough Times

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Books and notes about obsessive-compulsive disorder with highlighted coping strategies and sticky notes

Having had OCD for 30 years I’ve come to realise how important it is to have a few easily accessible resources and a plan of action in place for those times that, despite our best efforts, we end up spiralling.  

It’s very easy in the good times to forget how hard and dark it can be but when we are feeling good we should take a bit of time to get organised with what helps, just in case.

Let me try to explain in a bit more detail what I mean. 

In an ideal world we would learn how OCD works – a glitch in the good enough system – get really good at sitting with that uncomfortable feeling (doubt and uncertainty), let our nervous system do its thing and reset on its own back to base line and carry on with our day. 

And while this is all good in theory and doable a fair amount of the time, it is my experience that recovery isn’t a straight line and there will still be times when we get caught by an OCD obsession. 

Here are some examples of circumstances that can make OCD stickier;  Nighttime can be tricky, as well as when I’m particularly tired, if I’m already sitting with a trigger and then another one piles on top, time of the month for ladies, a new theme appears and takes you by surprise, or a difficult life circumstance such as illness, coping with loss, or stress to name a few. 

All of these will affect our resilience and ability to manage our OCD effectively; I’ve definitely noticed that the exact same thought can effect me differently depending on my resilience level.   

At these times, when we’re spiralling despite our best efforts to let things be, I’ve found it can be helpful to have a few resources to hand, they help remind me of OCD’s wicked and insidious ways and switch on the prefrontal cortex enough to pull me back. 

I personally have a notebook filled with all my favourite advice and information from a wealth of people and books I’ve read over the years.  Some of which I’ve shared below. 

As well as this I’ve finally started to populate my resources page, if you get a chance go and check it out and let me know what you think or if you know of any other useful resources I can add.  I will continue to update this page as time goes on.

I really hope it helps! 

Highlights from my notebook

A thought on Thought-Action-Fusion

Why would you torture yourself over anything less than 100% certainty?  Fear lives in the vague after all and it’s my guess, it’s just a thought (obsession), attached to a feeling of uncertainty, that you’re basing your rumination on, not facts. 
Your brain is probably desperately trying to work out whether there is something genuine to be concerned about, you should take this as your sign that there isn’t

A couple of quotes from Dr Stephen Phillipson

‘You can’t use feelings to make determinations based on whether a threat is real. Doing so is like asking the devil for directions to heaven’.

‘Why focus on something you have NO control over?’
‘It’s never going to not feel scary. ‘

An insight from Martha Beck

Ask yourself:  ‘Am I struggling?’  If the answer is ‘yes!’ then you’re spiralling, step away. 

Useful information from Prof. Steve Peters:

‘If you wake during the night, any thoughts or feelings you might have are from you chimp (emotional) brain and they are very often disturbing, catastrophic and lacking in perspective.  In the morning you are likely to regret engaging with these thoughts and feelings because you will see things differently. ‘

Some ponderings from me:

  1. At night time the rule I try to stick to is – Don’t engage between 10.30pm-6am – acknowledge the thought and set aside some ‘worry time’ the following day if needed, when the rational brain is switched on and working.
  • Know that giving into a compulsion will trigger your fight or flight response and once this happens all reason and logic will disappear.  There is no good outcome to giving into a compulsion, it just confirms to the brain there is something to be concerned about and keeps the OCD cycle going. 
  • There’s always another ‘what if?’ or ‘maybe?’, remember logic is limited but imagination isn’t.

There’s so much more from where these came from, so don’t forget to like and subscribe to make sure you don’t miss out! 

Let me know if any of these are useful to you too in the comments below. 

As always, you’re not alone, your thoughts are not special and you’re stronger than you know!
Stay Strong xxx

OCD – The Thief of Joy

Posted in Getting Help, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, Mindfulness, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Raccoon wearing a beanie and striped sweater carrying a glowing 'Joy' sign and a bag labeled 'Sorted Treasures'

You may have heard that famous quote:

‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ – Theodore Roosevelt

and well this is no doubt true, I would argue that OCD is actually a pretty good contender too. 

To experience joy, we must be open to experiences, receptive to others and be able to appreciate the world we live in, not only that we also need to feel like we deserve to be joyful.

All of these things require us to be in our parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest); we need to feel relaxed and at ease with the world around us, not overwhelmed by it.    

Unfortunately when we have OCD, we are rarely in our parasympathetic nervous system, we spend a lot of time in our own heads, dysregulating ourselves (fight or flight) with imagined realities, compulsions and overthinking.  All this means we are less receptive to the world around us, less productive and sadly less able to experience joy. 

Add to this the fact that when you have OCD you don’t always feel like you deserve to have joy in your life.  In fact you can feel quite the opposite, that you’re not a great person and instead of trying to find joy you beat yourself up and make yourself feel even worse! 

Remember, OCD is not your friend, it’s not trying to help you, build you up or make you feel good.  In fact given the opportunity it will tear you down piece by piece until there’s nothing left.  Yes, it sounds brutal and relentless and just like the high school bully, that’s exactly what it is!!!! 

A large student with crossed arms confronts a smaller student smiling and holding books in a school hallway with lockers and bulletin board

OCD – The distractor

I’ve been reading some yoga books recently and I came across the following quote, from Brightening our inner skies (beautiful title) by Norman Blair, which really resonated with me:

‘My disorderly awareness deprived me in the midst of plenty’ – John Tarrant

In the book Norman talks of reasons people seek out meditation, this was John’s reason. 

You don’t have to have OCD to notice that the mind likes to pull you away from the present.  In fact, in today’s society, with our attention being a source of income for big companies, it’s getting ever harder to just be ‘in the moment’. 

It also resonated with me on an OCD level.  I realised that my OCD constantly pulls me away from the things I care about, my life and family, depriving me from experiencing joy and happiness and disrupting my memories – oh yes, when dysregulated memory gets distorted too. 

How then do we stay present when OCD is so intent on pulling us into an alternate reality, of its own making, to distract us from all that we have and want to be? 

Are you able to pause and notice the nonsense? 

When I have days where the OCD is less sticky, I am able to see the constantly changing nature of thoughts and the mind for what it is.  It’s truly fascinating just how many avenues the mind tries to pull us down daily. 

It’s like standing in the middle of a storm, the wind is trying to pull you in one direction, the rain is pushing you in the other.  Your job is to stand there and watch with no attachment or investment in any way.   

Man in green raincoat with backpack bracing against cold wind and rain by stormy seaside

So much energy and mental effort for what?  In times of dysregulation the brain can take you anywhere and tell you anything and it all seems plausible.  It can make you think that repeating actions, counting numbers, replaying conversations, has a point, when in reality, it’s all just wasted time and energy. 

Once you recognise this and stop, it can all start to feel a bit empty.  Maybe regretful that you’ve wasted so much time and energy on an imagined reality.

How do you feel about finding stillness and being more present?  Is it tricky for you?

Maybe sit now and take a breath, notice what’s around you, feel the ground underneath your feet and the air on your lip as you breath in.

Does it feel easy, hard? 

It can take time, the brain won’t like it to start but think how much more energy you will have and more connected you will feel when you stop letting OCD steal your mental headspace and joy.    

I would love to know your thoughts on my ramblings, do you feel like joy is hard when OCD is loud?  Have you found any good ways to ground and reset your nervous system?

As Always, you are not alone,
Stay Strong xxx

OCD & Anxiety: Why it’s always worse at night

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Woman sitting up in bed looking anxious at night with open notebook on bedside table

Do you ever find that during the day you can see the OCD thoughts arise, but they are less bothersome?  Then at night, just when you start to relax and get ready for bed, boom!  That’s when they start to get louder?

I’ve found recently that during the day, I’m pretty able to rationalise and dismiss OCD thoughts, but then at night that same thought from earlier in the day can reoccur, a bit like my brain saying:

‘Remember this, was it actually important?’

For whatever reason at night time the thought can be more sticky and before I know it, I have that anxious feeling and if I’m not really careful I’m off down the rabbit hole.

I do believe this is a relatively common phenomenon, not just for people who suffer with OCD but for everyone.

So why is it always worse at night?

The main reason I understand is that: at night the prefrontal cortex – our thinking brain – becomes less active and as a consequence the emotional brain is more in control and less filtered. 

Remember the emotional brain likes to:

  • Jump to an opinion
  • Think in black and white
  • Is paranoid
  • Catastrophises things
  • Is irrational
  • Judges’ things emotionally rather than logically
  • Produces more negative or exaggerated thoughts

From an evolutionary standpoint, in the past we would of needed to be on high alert throughout the night, as we would have been more vulnerable, so it does sort of make sense, however nowadays it causes us stress.

I also believe there can be an element of habit in there, the brain works on predicting and anticipating our behaviour and unfortunately if you’re a worrier then at that time in the evening the brain will deliver you some worrying thoughts, along with the associated brain chemicals because that’s what it always does!

I like this extract from Prof. Steve Peteres book which has helped me:

‘If you wake during the night, any thoughts or feelings you might have are from you chimp (emotional) brain and they are very often disturbing, catastrophic and lacking in perspective.  In the morning you are likely to regret engaging with these thoughts and feelings because you will see things differently. ‘

The rule I try to stick to is – Don’t engage between 10.30pm-6am – acknowledge the thought and set aside some ‘worry time’ the following day if needed, when the rational brain is switched on and working.  You may find the time is not necessary once you are up and about but in the night it gives you a way to delay engaging. 

At night we can feel wrapped up in our thoughts, finding ways to not push them away but to acknowledge and defuse from them can be really useful.  We need to switch the logical brain back on, not fully but enough to help pull ourselves out. 

Ways I’ve found to do this include,

  • Writing it down/journaling
  • Acknowledging the thought and allocating worry time the following day.
  • Recognising the thought as OCD say, ‘Thank you brain, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now’
  • Use Byron Katie’s – Is it true?  Is it 100% true? – If the answer is no, let it go!
  • I also saw the opposite of this the other day, ask yourself, ‘is there even a 1% chance that this might not be true?’  Works the same way by creating enough doubt to let go.
  • Mindfulness – Body scan starting at the toes / counting breathing
  • Be creative – Creativity switches on a different part of the brain – I like to plan yoga sequences as I fall asleep, but you could come up with a book idea, plan how to decorate your bedroom/house, decide what you’re going to cook for dinner tomorrow.  Maybe think of an act of kindness you could perform for someone. 

Remember fear lives in the vague and the brain is able to make black = white when the emotional brain is in charge.  Make sure you’re dealing with facts and the pre-frontal cortex and not self-made nonsense from the emotional brain – you know what I mean!

Not sure which brains in charge?  Ask yourself: ‘Am I struggling?’, If the answers ‘yes!’, chances are the emotional brains in control.

 If this is the case, whatever you do, don’t engage or try to reason with the thought, in my experience this always makes it worse!!!

In conclusion:

  • Don’t engage with thoughts between 10.30pm and 6am
  • Acknowledge the thought and allocate worry time the following day to deal with it then
  • Switch to thinking more mindfully or creatively – this uses a different part of the brain. 

OCD: a WARNING system NOT a WANTING system!

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Man standing next to multiple industrial safety and warning signs in a warehouse

This is something I’ve been playing with this week and I’ve found it really helpful so I thought I’d share. 

Putting together a couple of ideas from previous posts:

1. When we have OCD the amygdala – whose primary function is to process emotions, especially fear and anxiety – is sending us a faulty signal that there is something which needs our attention right away and cannot wait.
and
2. OCD is ego-dystonic, meaning: against the self or being inconsistent with one’s true beliefs, values and personality.

It follows then that if we are getting pretty constant ‘faulty’ alerts from our amygdala’s and we know that these alerts are against our values, beliefs and personality, that we shouldn’t take much notice of them.

We need to see these alerts as a warning system – which is what it is and not a wanting system, which it couldn’t be further from being.

Our brain is basically saying; ‘Careful you wouldn’t want that to happen!’ or ‘If that happened wouldn’t it be awful?’ and all we have to do is say, ‘Yes! That would be awful, thanks for looking out for me brain.’

By acknowledging the thought and thanking the brain, we also help defuse ourselves from it (an idea used in ACT therapy), this logical process helps keep our thinking brain online. 

If we give the thoughts (obsessions) any time, we switch on our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight), where our thinking brain starts to switch off and then there’s no logic or reason available to us – not where we want to be.

In Summary
Know you are getting the thoughts as the brain is WARNING you of wrongly perceived danger and not because you are wanting or inviting the thoughts. 

Simple but effective, hope it helps,
As always, Stay Strong xxx

OCD: Why You Feel Exhausted All The Time

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Man sitting on bed with head bowed, hands clasped, in soft morning light

One thing that isn’t spoken about much in OCD and its recovery is just how exhausting it is. 

We’re told that we should, ‘carry on with our lives despite the OCD thoughts’ – which continue to pop in by the way – always sitting with, rather than avoiding our obsessions and generally making ERP a lifestyle choice! 

And whilst this is great advice which I agree with, it’s easy to forget that, when we’re consistently pushing outside of our comfort zones and taking part in exposures, it’s incredibly tiring for our nervous system. 

I’ve recently been training for a Sprint triathlon.  I signed up for this event in part because I’ve always been a bit anxious about swimming and I thought it would help push me through this anxiety and improve my confidence in the water. 
All good in theory but in practice, it has been exhausting.  I get into the pool, put my head under the water and my brain gets extremely loud. 
My swim teacher is amazing with lots of incredible tips and advice but if I listened to my brain, after that first swimming lesson, I would never have gotten back in the water.  The following day I was completely exhausted from how dysregulated my nervous system had been, and this is just one example. 

Therapists make ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) sound so simple and down on paper it is:

  1. Write a list of exposures,
  2. Tackle them one at a time,
  3. Sit with the associated anxiety without completing any compulsions. 
  4. The nervous system will reset on its own – as it’s designed to do.

The reality I’ve found however is that the nervous system does not reset easily, and it can feel easy to beat ourselves up about this.  In fact, what you have to do is treat your nervous system like a scared puppy which needs a hug.

Golden retriever puppy sitting on a rug looking upward indoors

I noticed the other day, when sitting with an uncomfortable thought, that I was holding unbelievable tension in my body, once I noticed and relaxed this tension the thought eased.
I wondered after whether, without recognising that I was holding tension and consciously letting it go would my brain of relaxed? Did it need the sign from my body to say, ‘hey, it’s OK’.

Remember the brain is in a black hole and relies on inputs from the body and senses to know whether its safe.  

I’ve also noticed recently that when out and about I quite often hold my arms across my body.  I’m pretty sure this is a protection mechanism from my nervous system and a way my body holds onto OCD created tension subconsciously. 

Do you notice yourself holding tension in your body when triggered? 

I get to wondering; is held tension a subconscious compulsion or the nervous systems reaction to me being dysregulated by my OCD obsessions? Or are both of these the same thing? 

If we can treat obsessions by letting them be – which should eventually release tension in the body, can we also treat obsessions by sending messages from the body through grounding techniques, muscle relaxation and breathwork to the brain? Maybe a bit of reach? But think, if our body appears relaxed, is the brain more likely to relax too and as a result produce positive thoughts rather than catastrophic ones?     

This is after all how breathwork works, it sends a contradictory message to the brain as an input through the vagus nerve telling the brain ‘there’s no need to panic’ and it can relax. Its also what I did the other day when by releasing tension in the body the brain eased too. 

There is a huge amount of research being done at the moment about how the gut and brain communicate and how most of the messages actually go from the gut up to the brain (80%). If our nervous system is sending copious messages up to the brain at all times, then surly a two pronged approach to OCD recovery: sitting with the thoughts (ERP) but also using body relaxation techniques – when not used in a compulsive way – should be beneficial for OCD recovery? 

Heading back to exhaustion for a moment – as a result of nervous system dysregulation through ERP exposures. Here we see a snowball effect as when we feel tried, we reach for the sugar and caffeine to keep us going, these can further dysregulate our nervous system, sleep and ability to relax.  Our internal environment then becomes even more challenging for our nervous system to reset and as a result the OCD obsessions can become more sticky.

Why not take a moment now and pause, see where your mind is at and whether you’re doing anything subconsciously to make the state of your mind worse than it needs to be. Are your shoulders tense, are you making a fist with your hand, do you push your nails into your palms or are you constantly on high alert? These are just a few examples but there are lots of ways the body reacts and holds tension when it doesn’t feel safe and regulated.  

Let me know your thoughts on using the body to calm the mind and if you’ve found it useful. I believe it has a place in OCD recovery as if we can’t relax our bodies our minds will never be still.

I really hope it helps,
As always, Stay Strong xxx

But how do I know if it’s OCD?

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Ocean waves forcefully crashing against a rocky outcrop in blue water

Ever heard your OCD brain saying:

‘How do I know if it’s OCD, this time it feels so real!’

This is one of OCD’s biggest hooks and it will throw it at you every single time. 

Each time you get triggered, for whatever reason, it will feel urgent and like it must be looked at right now!  In fact, if it does feel urgent you should use this as your first clue that it is your OCD at play.

A question I like to ask myself at these times is:

‘Am I struggling?’

If the answer to this question is yes, then use this as your second clue that OCD is playing its nasty game with you.   

One of the reasons we generally fall down the ‘ruminations rabbit hole’ is that we’re not 100% sure whether it’s our OCD, or whether this time the trigger is something to be genuinely worried about. 

But I can guarantee that if you’re struggling with the thought then you’ll be starting to spiral and if you’re spiralling you’ll be heading into your sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous system. 

When in this part of the nervous system we don’t think rationally, as the prefrontal cortex – our thinking brain – starts to go offline and our more primal survival brain starts to take over. 

This is not where we want to be when dealing with OCD thoughts as we don’t think rationally, it’s all about extremes and as a result we end up thinking what OCD is telling us is ‘reasonable’ somehow! 

Honestly the things my brains convinced me are possible when in fight or flight is madness and yet somehow, when in that dysregulated state, it seems perfectly reasonable. 

Here are some examples which might sound familiar:

  • That bump in the road was probably a human which I completely missed.
  • Even though I’ve already washed my hands they’re not clean.
  • What if I push that person into the road as I walk past them?
  • Maybe that red spot is blood, what if I pick up an infection from it?

In fact right now, as I’m writing these down, my brain is saying: ‘What if by writing these things down it makes them more likely to happen? ‘

I mean you get the idea, all the above are situations where OCD has taken 1 + 1 and come up with 20.  It has made huge leaps, completely by-passing any sort of logic, reason or fact and because you are in your sympathetic nervous system, it makes them seem possible! 

In summary,

  1. If it feels urgent
    or
  2. You’re struggling

know that it’s your OCD at play and you need to take a step back, definitely don’t engage!!!

It seems too simple but if you can keep these two ideas in your head when you get triggered then it will empower you to sit with the uncertainty. They also go a long way to helping you identify the thought as OCD and this is a well-known defusion exercise (from ACT therapy) which helps switch the thinking brain back on.

I know it’s unbelievably hard to sit with the uncertainty but know that completing any type of compulsion does nothing apart from validate the OCD trigger, highlights it as important to the brain and sends you off into your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) where all logic switches off.

Do your best to not engage with any OCD compulsions, OCD may appear to be your ‘helpful friend’ but it most defiantly isn’t.  Given the chance OCD will steel everything from you, it feels no empathy and will take you to hell if you let it!

I really hope these tips help you as much as they have me,
As always, Stay Strong xxx

Glimmers: Hope Amidst the OCD Noise

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GLIMMERS text over a silhouette of a person looking at the Milky Way galaxy.

When you have OCD your brain can feel so loud you think it’ll never be quiet again.  We catastrophise the world, always thinking worst case scenario, our brains are living in survival mode, unable to fully relax.

Anyone suffering from OCD will know how distressing and difficult it can be and at times our brains can feel like very dark places to inhabit. 

When I had my nervous breakdown back in 2021 my nervous system felt so dysregulated that the noise was unbelievably loud and constant!  Waking up was noisy, all day it was noisy and going to sleep was near impossible.    

At times I would sit outside in the garden, feeling pretty numb and watch the birds – mini glimmers I now realise.  I would find awe and beauty in watching them and they helped me remember that life is beautiful.     

What is a glimmer?

A Glimmer is a small, daily moment that sparks joy, safety, awe or gratitude.  It acts as the opposite of an OCD trigger.

I love the word ‘glimmers’ as it speaks to something magical and when you experience them they do feel magical. 

When everything is incredibly loud a ‘glimmer’ can feel like a bright light, pushing its way through the intense darkness – similar to a star in the night sky, all the more beautiful because of the darkness surrounding it. 

My OCD has taken a lot from me over the years but one thing it has given me is the ability to truly appreciate the small, beautiful things in life – which I believe most people miss.    

I can remember a time, not too long after my nervous breakdown, I’d come back from the school run and sat down on the sofa, I then had a moment of quiet.  It wasn’t long and I didn’t recognise the fact until after it had happened, but this little glimmer gave me hope.  It was enough to show me that it was possible for my brain to be quiet again.  This moment has stayed with me and was and still is highly significant to me in my recovery journey.

Can you think of any times when you’ve had a ‘glimmer’? They really are magical moments.

Remember to always look for the light in the darkness, like a moth to a flame, head for that light and hold onto it with all you have.

Remember you are not alone,  
As always, Stay Strong xxx   

Overcoming OCD: The Role of Expectancy Violation

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In last weeks post I touched on the subject of expectancy violation and I thought it was such an important topic that it deserved its own post.   

What is Expectancy Violation I hear you ask?

It is a core mechanism in Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, where a patient’s obsession is disproven by facing the fear (obsession) without doing the compulsion. By violating this expectation, the patient learns that their fear (obsession) is manageable, and their obsessive beliefs are false, which promotes long-term recovery. 

ERP therapy is all about proving to your brain that your OCD obsessions are unfounded and based on dodgy data.  We can only prove this to our brains by sitting with the obsession when it comes in and not partaking in the compulsion. 

Sounds easy right?  Well last weeks post was all about how the brain can make, ‘just sitting with it’, feel like a life or death situation and no I’m not exaggerating, anyone suffering from OCD knows this first hand.

The brain believes what it sees and it’s only action or sometimes inaction that can rewire the ‘faulty OCD circuitry’, currently running.    

I realise ‘taking action’ can be hard and sometimes it can feel useful to sit and consume podcasts, books, blog posts and reels on OCD instead. This can make us feel like we’re ‘doing the work’, and don’t get me wrong I do truly believe psychoeducation plays a large part in OCD recovery but the real work is done out there in the real world, when you’re not making your life smaller to avoid triggers.

It’s only when you take part in your exposures, reframe from doing the compulsion and see that the ‘expected’ outcome doesn’t actually happen, that you receive this unbelievably important input – the expectancy violation – which then starts to rewire your brain with better more accurate data.

You have to remember to keep on pushing outwards so OCD can’t push you inwards. In my experience if you don’t continue to push yourself out of your comfort zone regularly then the ‘weeds’ (OCD obessions) start to sneak back in.

My advice therefore is to try and make ERP a lifestyle choice. When we accept our anxiety, knowing it’s a normal part of being human and carry on anyway we are winning against OCD. 

Are you still pushing out of your comfort zone each week? I’d love to know what you’ve been up to, let me know in the comments below so we can help inspire each other.

If you, like me, need a reminder now and again to keep on trying new challenges and exposures, then you might find one of my wellbeing journals useful. They have a weekly ‘Comfort Zone Cracker’, where you can set yourself small manageable targets to hit. It’s a fab companion for ERP therapy and life in general, they’re available from amazon and you can find the links to them here.

I really hope this post has been helpful,
As always, Stay Strong xxx

What’s the RAS and why it’s crucial for OCD recovery

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One of the greatest insights into the brain and how it functions for me was when I learnt about the reticular activating system or RAS for short. 

I first read about the RAS in Jim Kwik’s book, Limitless – which I would highly recommend. 

He states that:

‘Every second, your senses gather up to 11 million bits of information from the world around you….
…The conscious mind typically processes only 50 bits per second. ‘

The RAS system plays an important role, 11 million is a lot and would be completely overwhelming if it all got through to your conscious awareness, so the RAS, filters out most of the information coming in. 

How does it know what to let through and what to ignore? This is generally based on where you focus your attention!    

Have you ever noticed when you’re shopping for something new, like a car, you suddenly start seeing the one you’re interested in all over the place?

I remember when my husband and I were looking for a new front door. I’d never looked at anyone’s front door before in my life, but all of a sudden I knew what everyone’s front door on my entire street was like.  We’ve now purchased our front door, and since then I’ve had no interest whatsoever in anyone else’s – my brain has stopped drawing my attention to them.

Another interesting example of this was when my husband and I went for an anniversary meal one year.  We were sitting in a beautiful conservatory enjoying a wonderful meal and I made a comment about one of the flower displays and how interesting the vase was.  My husband – generally much less interested in flowers and much more interested in technology – commented that he hadn’t even noticed the flowers but was looking at how they had discreetly wired in the sound system speakers – something which I had little interest in, so hadn’t noticed. 

Isn’t it fascinating how two people in the exact same space and moment in time can be experiencing something completely different, depending on what their brain thinks they’re interested in and is therefore drawing their attention to!

Bringing us round to OCD we can see how this system can work against us.  When we’re overly focused on our obsessions (unwanted, intrusive, and distressing thoughts, images, urges, or feelings that repeatedly enter a person’s mind and cause significant anxiety.) our brain is going to see them as important and hijack that small stream of data coming through to our conscious awareness to bring our attention to them.  As it does this it blocks out all the other things we might very well have been interested in! 

Another great quote which I love is: ‘What am I missing by choosing to worry and be afraid?’

How much of your life are you missing out on? It can feel tough to hear all this, particularly, if like me, you’ve had OCD for a long time.  OCD thoughts consume so much of our mental space and energy that when other things come along, they could be right in front of us and we don’t see them!

So what do we need to do?

Well it doesn’t happen quickly, but we need to not engage with the OCD obsessions when they come in, any resistance to them shows the brain they are important and activates that filter.  I know it can feel impossible, but I have found, through 30 years of OCD experience, it is the only way to be rid of them. Just say: 

‘Thank you brain, that’s exactly what I want to hear right now’

and carry on with your day. This way you’re not pushing it away but you’re also not interacting with it.

Next, you need to check your inner dialogue. This will also effect what comes through your filter and quite often is running on auto pilot in an unhelpful way.

A great exercise is to sit for a moment and see how you talk to yourself.  I’m guessing if you have OCD you’re probably not being that kind.

From Jim Kiwk’s book, a quote from Dr Jennice Vilhauer

‘The inner critic isn’t harmless.  It inhibits you, limits you, and stops you from pursuing the life you truly want to live.  It robs you of peace of mind and emotional well-being and, if left unchecked long enough, it can even lead to serious mental health problems like depression and anxiety’ 

and I’d venture to add OCD to that list.    

Take a moment and write down what you hear yourself saying, then see if you can find a better more uplifting dialogue to tune into. Below are a couple of ideas for when OCD obsessions come in but you can apply this idea to all aspects of your life:

  • ‘I’m noticing my OCD is feeling overwhelming right now, but I’m working on letting it be and I know it will pass.  I am a strong and resilient person who can sit with this uncomfortable feeling’
  • ‘I know that giving into the OCD obsession will only make it worse in the future, I’m being strong now for my future freedom, I’m so proud of myself’
  • ‘When my OCD is triggered, I know I will be thrown into fight or flight, I can’t think rationally in that state so there is no point in interacting with the thought, I love that I can empower myself with this knowledge’.  

Next time you’re triggered have a go at using one of the above and see if it helps switch your mind away from negative thinking – which is going to be the focus of next week’s post.

Don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t already so you don’t miss any of my upcoming posts. let me know your thoughts on the RAS in the comments below, I’d love to hear your experiences of it too.

I hope this insight has been helpful, As always, Stay Strong xxx

Understanding OCD as a Faulty Defence Mechanism

Posted in Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Awareness Week, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I’ve talked in a previous post about how OCD is closely linked to our sympathetic nervous system, how when we get triggered by an obsession, if we pay attention to it, we get thrown into fight or flight – which is not where we want to be. 

This system has it’s uses and, in the past would have been responsible for keeping us alive and safe but when we have OCD, this mechanism – which is designed to be a temporary state – can become a permanent trait! 

I guess this is because the brain has seen that by keeping us stuck in an OCD loop we are ‘safe’ from the ‘perceived threat’ and even though we can logically see it’s not a useful mechanism, all the brain can see – who’s main job it is to keep us safe – is that we are still alive, so job done. 

It’s worth noting here that the brains top priority is keeping us alive.  Not happy, not living our best life, not being socially connected or prosperous, nope, just being alive and if it thinks there are risks and threats out there that need to be avoided – due to OCD’s faulty system – and it thinks the OCD spiral keeps you safe, then it is going to have you looping down that rabbit hole forever! 

It does seem that in OCD there is a ‘fault’ in the switch that allows us to dismiss obsessions when they come in, the threat system, seems ‘hot-wired’ but why? 

I personally believe (and current evidence seems to confirm) that the ‘fault’ comes from some sort of highly driven sympathetic time or event in a person’s life.  This person will most likely have a predisposition (genetic vulnerability) towards OCD; however I also believe that we don’t have to know what that time or event was, sometimes it’s obvious – birth of a child, prolonged periods of feeling unsafe or stressed but other times it’s not and that’s OK.    

Putting these two ideas together:

1. That OCD is a fault in the threat detection system
2. The brains top priority is to keep us safe,

we can see how OCD can be seen by the brain as ‘a useful tool’. It becomes a learned habit – ‘if I spend my time focused on OCD thoughts, then I’m safe’. 

Is OCD therefore a defence mechanism – albeit a faulty and unhealthy one – to ‘avoid life and keep us safe’?

It feels like quite a big question and something that people with OCD might object to but just stop and think for a second. 

Does your OCD stop you from living the life you’d love to live?  And in doing so does your brain – rightly or wrongly so – believe that it is keeping you safe?

Another interesting insight I had was that with OCD we tend to know that the obsession is unfounded, and logically not true but because we can’t be 100% sure we get stuck. 

Is this another, particularly clever, part of the mechanism?  We sit at home ruminating and so not venturing out into the ‘scary world’ with the ‘unpredictable uncertainty’ – but it’s never enough to ever fully convince us that the obsession is true. Therefore, we stay at home, where we are stuck but according to the brain safe, job done. 

It’s an uncomfortable theory right: is OCD a defence mechanism the brain uses to keep us safe? 

If we look at OCD this way, then we can start to see it for what it is – a badly calibrated, unhealthy and faulty protection system which for whatever reason can feel productive and useful – it’s not. 

We need to start to write a new story, remember the brain will always focus on the negative and try and find evidence to prove itself justified. 

I would bet for all the negative evidence it finds there’s just as much, if not more positive evidence to the contrary, your brain is just not seeing it – tunnel vision.  You need to widen the spotlight and make it a flood light. This way you can see the whole picture and realise everything OCD has been telling you is a very convincing LIE! 

This idea of OCD as a faulty safety mechanism has helped me to see that my brain is just trying to keep me safe, it has allowed me to be a lot kinder to myself and even laugh at the non-sensical nature of it. 

I hope it helps you too,  
As always stay strong xxx