Tag: Beating OCD

Are You Falling into OCD’s Sneaky Trap?

Posted in OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Two men labeled Reason and Logic pulling a large brain away from a creature labeled OCD

OCD can be so sneaky and when you’ve had it for a long time, if you’re not careful, you can start to form automatic habits around it. These can be so sneaky, you don’t even realise you’re doing them but these habits are actually sneaky compulsions keeping you stuck!!!!!

This has happened to me and probably still does when I don’t catch it in time.  One habit in particular stands out here, as I now realise it was/is a compulsion which has been keeping my OCD going, argh!!

What was I doing?

I was debating with my Pure O intrusive thoughts, here’s an example to show you what I mean:

An OCD intrusive thought/feeling/urge whatever comes in:

‘What if you picked up that knife now and hurt someone with it?’

What I should do:

‘Thanks OCD, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now’

And then carry on with my day, no more interaction, stopping it in it’s tracks. 

What I’ve been doing:

‘I wouldn’t do a thing like that, I’m a good person, look at all the kind things I’ve done which prove that – starts to list them off in my head.  I love my family/friend, why would I want to hurt them, that’s crazy.  This thought is obviously my OCD etc ect ect.’

What I’m doing here is engaging with the thought, even if its just to prove it wrong, its STILL a compulsion! 
I’m not directly worrying about the obsession or think I might action it but I’m trying to prove to myself with absolute certainty why it’s not something to worry about. This is a sneaky compulsion which I’ve been keeping going for YEARS! 

Initially I didn’t realise it was a compulsion at all and it was only when my OCD wasn’t getting better that I dug a bit deeper and realised that by trying to prove the OCD thought wrong, I was keeping it alive! 


Say it with me now:

Boy with brown hair wearing orange shirt and blue jeans shouting angrily with clenched fists outside

It wasn’t a great feeling when I worked this one out and I still find it really hard not to engage with the thoughts to this day.

For whatever reason I feel like I have to prove to my brain, beyond any shadow of doubt, that I’m a good person. I take myself off on a positivity spiral, desperately trying to affirm my character but of course this is fruitless when it comes to OCD, as I’ve proven to myself over the last few years. 

Remember OCD has imagination at its fingertips, where there will always be another ‘what if?’ or ‘maybe?’ coming your way.

This is how OCD’s sneaky trap keeps you stuck inside your head, distracted and not fully engaging in the real world. You’re trying to solve an unsolvable puzzle, debating with your own imagination – sneaky or what!

When I don’t do this compulsion, I have to leave the obsession ‘open’, which my brain hates. This is of course ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) therapy in action and exactly what we need to do.  

Do you find yourself doing this? 
I’d love to know if anyone else has fallen into this sneaky trap.

As always, Stay Strong xxx   

Overcoming OCD: A leap of Faith

Posted in Mental Health, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Make OCD words slightly darker

You could look at OCD as being a fault in the ‘good enough’ system.  For whatever reason in people with OCD the brain’s ability to dismiss thoughts which ‘normal’ people can, seems impossible. 

Thoughts are stickier, they hang around and as a result our fight or flight nervous system gets triggered, making the thoughts (obsessions) feel more visceral and real – they’re not of course but try telling yourself that when you’re triggered! 

When we’re stuck in an OCD spiral it can feel overwhelming, all consuming and urgent.  It feels like working out the thought is the only thing that matters but of course investing any time in the thought is always going to make it worse.

OCD asks us to take a leap of faith, and this is why recovery is so hard.  We’re basically saying to ourselves:

‘I know every instinct in your body is telling you to work this out right now but you need to do the exact opposite and have faith, not proof, not certainty but blind faith, that what your brain is telling you is wrong. ‘

Bring creepy character closer to foreground

I’ve had a few occasions over the years where I’ve been stuck in a spiral for days and eventually, I’ve just had to take that first step and trust that all will be OK.

It feels impossible I know, like jumping out of a plane not knowing whether your parachute is packed correctly but the alternative of being stuck is also not that appealing.

It’s only when we’re brave enough to keep going, letting the thoughts be, that the brain starts to see, ‘oh that thing I’ve been stressing about didn’t actually happen’ – this is called expectancy violation and it’s incredibly powerful. 

Each time we prove to our brain that what we thought might happen didn’t, the thoughts start to ease a bit and the next time it’s slightly easier and the time after that a bit easier again and so on. 

OCD recovery happens slowly, particularly when it’s been around for a while.  It’s needs a lot of proof that all is well before it starts to relax. 

This is why ERP – exposure response prevention – is that gold standard for OCD recovery, as it requires us to push into our OCD obsessions and carry on regardless of how we feel. It’s only through this action and continued exposures that the brain starts to chill. 

I do believe ERP needs to be supported with psychoeducation and nervous system support to give you the best opportunity for success.  Gaining knowledge and understanding of how OCD works has been so empowering for me and it’s why I write this blog.  It acts as a reminder for me to not give into compulsions but hopefully also helps others understand OCD better. 

I really hope it helps,
Stay Strong xxx   

6 Strategies to Combat OCD Spirals

Posted in Mental Health, OCD, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Person standing outdoors at night looking up at the Milky Way galaxy in the star-filled sky

This week I’ve been under the weather, nothing too extreme just a cold but the impact it’s had on my mental health and resilience levels I thought was worth highlighting. 

I’ve spoken before about the threat bucket and how each day we wake up with a base level of resilience.  This can change day-to-day depending on how we feel, how well we’ve taken care of ourselves, what’s going on with our health as well as what’s happening in the world around us. So many things can knock our resilience day to day, not to mention our OCD. 

Understandably then as I got slowly more poorly over the weekend my resilience levels got lower.

I observed as Saturday went on how the thoughts became stickier and by bedtime on Saturday an old theme had come in and had properly taken hold, as a result I did not sleep well. 

Sunday was tricky, already dysregulated because of my cold, add on top my bad night’s sleep and the ability to sit with the OCD thoughts as they came in became much more challenging.

What to do then when things are stacking up against you, despite your best efforts.

I found it useful once again to refer to my notebook, as I said in last weeks post, it’s vital to prepare for the hard times when you’re feeling good, try and make a compilation of all the things that help and uplift you, so you can refer to them when you’re not thinking as cognitively.

Anything that is going to switch your thinking brain back on, is going to be useful, become curious, be creative or find awe in the world. 

At 4am on Saturday morning the birds started singing outside and that bought me some peace, I have always found awe and wonder in birds, and this helps to pull me out of the depths of OCD spirals. 

I’ve written about these before, but I think they’re worth repeating.  Here are 6 of the best ways I know to pull yourself out of a spiral (fight or flight):

  1. Creativity – this will mean different things for different people but creativity is amazing at switching on a different part of the brain, drawing your attention away from the catastrophizing part. Quite often if you can focus on creating something, whether it be a piece of art, a yoga sequence, something in the kitchen, garden, workshop, on the computer, anything that gets you thinking outside the box, you will start to draw your attention back to a more balance place.
    What’s your creative outlet?
  2. Curiosity – This can be curiosity about anything, quite often when we become curious and interested in something it grounds us and pulls us away from that extreme black and white thinking. Try asking why? Maybe investigate how something works or why it’s the way it is.
    Have you ever wondered about anything?
  3. Humour – is fabulous for getting the brain to switch modes. It works because its unexpected, remember the brain is a prediction machine and it’s pretty good at it. When a joke comes along and it doesn’t end where the brain think it will, BAM! You’re out of default mode and the brain is switched on and listening.
    Do you like any comedians? Go and look up one of their new sets online.
  4. Awe – part of the joy of being human is our ability to find awe. It can really give you some perspective when you look at the stars, birds, clouds, landscape etc. Going out into the world and finding things that make you think, wow! Is very important to our wellbeing and it helps us reset.  What brings you that feeling of awe?
  5. A Challenge – this can be tricky when you’re in fight or flight but something which I found fun – from Martha Becks book – was to try and write your signature backwards. It takes a huge amount of focus and is very grounding. Go on, give it a try!
  6. Foundations Work – movement, nutrition, sleep, relaxation & social connection.  This takes an element of doing what you know is good for you, even when you don’t feel like it. We must take action first, do the things we know make us feel better in the long run, your body and brain will thank you.

 These have all been great for me at different times, give them a go and see if they help you too. 

But are these compulsions I hear you ask?  I would argue if you’re not doing them out of a desperate need, then no.  If you feel low and dysregulated then doing things to reregulate your system such as eating well, socialising or being creative are constructive and recommended by professionals, however if you find you’re doing them compulsively then step away!

I really hope it helps,
Stay Strong xxx

Navigating OCD: Essential Tips During Tough Times

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Books and notes about obsessive-compulsive disorder with highlighted coping strategies and sticky notes

Having had OCD for 30 years I’ve come to realise how important it is to have a few easily accessible resources and a plan of action in place for those times that, despite our best efforts, we end up spiralling.  

It’s very easy in the good times to forget how hard and dark it can be but when we are feeling good we should take a bit of time to get organised with what helps, just in case.

Let me try to explain in a bit more detail what I mean. 

In an ideal world we would learn how OCD works – a glitch in the good enough system – get really good at sitting with that uncomfortable feeling (doubt and uncertainty), let our nervous system do its thing and reset on its own back to base line and carry on with our day. 

And while this is all good in theory and doable a fair amount of the time, it is my experience that recovery isn’t a straight line and there will still be times when we get caught by an OCD obsession. 

Here are some examples of circumstances that can make OCD stickier;  Nighttime can be tricky, as well as when I’m particularly tired, if I’m already sitting with a trigger and then another one piles on top, time of the month for ladies, a new theme appears and takes you by surprise, or a difficult life circumstance such as illness, coping with loss, or stress to name a few. 

All of these will affect our resilience and ability to manage our OCD effectively; I’ve definitely noticed that the exact same thought can effect me differently depending on my resilience level.   

At these times, when we’re spiralling despite our best efforts to let things be, I’ve found it can be helpful to have a few resources to hand, they help remind me of OCD’s wicked and insidious ways and switch on the prefrontal cortex enough to pull me back. 

I personally have a notebook filled with all my favourite advice and information from a wealth of people and books I’ve read over the years.  Some of which I’ve shared below. 

As well as this I’ve finally started to populate my resources page, if you get a chance go and check it out and let me know what you think or if you know of any other useful resources I can add.  I will continue to update this page as time goes on.

I really hope it helps! 

Highlights from my notebook

A thought on Thought-Action-Fusion

Why would you torture yourself over anything less than 100% certainty?  Fear lives in the vague after all and it’s my guess, it’s just a thought (obsession), attached to a feeling of uncertainty, that you’re basing your rumination on, not facts. 
Your brain is probably desperately trying to work out whether there is something genuine to be concerned about, you should take this as your sign that there isn’t

A couple of quotes from Dr Stephen Phillipson

‘You can’t use feelings to make determinations based on whether a threat is real. Doing so is like asking the devil for directions to heaven’.

‘Why focus on something you have NO control over?’
‘It’s never going to not feel scary. ‘

An insight from Martha Beck

Ask yourself:  ‘Am I struggling?’  If the answer is ‘yes!’ then you’re spiralling, step away. 

Useful information from Prof. Steve Peters:

‘If you wake during the night, any thoughts or feelings you might have are from you chimp (emotional) brain and they are very often disturbing, catastrophic and lacking in perspective.  In the morning you are likely to regret engaging with these thoughts and feelings because you will see things differently. ‘

Some ponderings from me:

  1. At night time the rule I try to stick to is – Don’t engage between 10.30pm-6am – acknowledge the thought and set aside some ‘worry time’ the following day if needed, when the rational brain is switched on and working.
  • Know that giving into a compulsion will trigger your fight or flight response and once this happens all reason and logic will disappear.  There is no good outcome to giving into a compulsion, it just confirms to the brain there is something to be concerned about and keeps the OCD cycle going. 
  • There’s always another ‘what if?’ or ‘maybe?’, remember logic is limited but imagination isn’t.

There’s so much more from where these came from, so don’t forget to like and subscribe to make sure you don’t miss out! 

Let me know if any of these are useful to you too in the comments below. 

As always, you’re not alone, your thoughts are not special and you’re stronger than you know!
Stay Strong xxx

OCD – The Thief of Joy

Posted in Getting Help, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, Mindfulness, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Raccoon wearing a beanie and striped sweater carrying a glowing 'Joy' sign and a bag labeled 'Sorted Treasures'

You may have heard that famous quote:

‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ – Theodore Roosevelt

and well this is no doubt true, I would argue that OCD is actually a pretty good contender too. 

To experience joy, we must be open to experiences, receptive to others and be able to appreciate the world we live in, not only that we also need to feel like we deserve to be joyful.

All of these things require us to be in our parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest); we need to feel relaxed and at ease with the world around us, not overwhelmed by it.    

Unfortunately when we have OCD, we are rarely in our parasympathetic nervous system, we spend a lot of time in our own heads, dysregulating ourselves (fight or flight) with imagined realities, compulsions and overthinking.  All this means we are less receptive to the world around us, less productive and sadly less able to experience joy. 

Add to this the fact that when you have OCD you don’t always feel like you deserve to have joy in your life.  In fact you can feel quite the opposite, that you’re not a great person and instead of trying to find joy you beat yourself up and make yourself feel even worse! 

Remember, OCD is not your friend, it’s not trying to help you, build you up or make you feel good.  In fact given the opportunity it will tear you down piece by piece until there’s nothing left.  Yes, it sounds brutal and relentless and just like the high school bully, that’s exactly what it is!!!! 

A large student with crossed arms confronts a smaller student smiling and holding books in a school hallway with lockers and bulletin board

OCD – The distractor

I’ve been reading some yoga books recently and I came across the following quote, from Brightening our inner skies (beautiful title) by Norman Blair, which really resonated with me:

‘My disorderly awareness deprived me in the midst of plenty’ – John Tarrant

In the book Norman talks of reasons people seek out meditation, this was John’s reason. 

You don’t have to have OCD to notice that the mind likes to pull you away from the present.  In fact, in today’s society, with our attention being a source of income for big companies, it’s getting ever harder to just be ‘in the moment’. 

It also resonated with me on an OCD level.  I realised that my OCD constantly pulls me away from the things I care about, my life and family, depriving me from experiencing joy and happiness and disrupting my memories – oh yes, when dysregulated memory gets distorted too. 

How then do we stay present when OCD is so intent on pulling us into an alternate reality, of its own making, to distract us from all that we have and want to be? 

Are you able to pause and notice the nonsense? 

When I have days where the OCD is less sticky, I am able to see the constantly changing nature of thoughts and the mind for what it is.  It’s truly fascinating just how many avenues the mind tries to pull us down daily. 

It’s like standing in the middle of a storm, the wind is trying to pull you in one direction, the rain is pushing you in the other.  Your job is to stand there and watch with no attachment or investment in any way.   

Man in green raincoat with backpack bracing against cold wind and rain by stormy seaside

So much energy and mental effort for what?  In times of dysregulation the brain can take you anywhere and tell you anything and it all seems plausible.  It can make you think that repeating actions, counting numbers, replaying conversations, has a point, when in reality, it’s all just wasted time and energy. 

Once you recognise this and stop, it can all start to feel a bit empty.  Maybe regretful that you’ve wasted so much time and energy on an imagined reality.

How do you feel about finding stillness and being more present?  Is it tricky for you?

Maybe sit now and take a breath, notice what’s around you, feel the ground underneath your feet and the air on your lip as you breath in.

Does it feel easy, hard? 

It can take time, the brain won’t like it to start but think how much more energy you will have and more connected you will feel when you stop letting OCD steal your mental headspace and joy.    

I would love to know your thoughts on my ramblings, do you feel like joy is hard when OCD is loud?  Have you found any good ways to ground and reset your nervous system?

As Always, you are not alone,
Stay Strong xxx

OCD & Anxiety: Why it’s always worse at night

Posted in OCD, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Woman sitting up in bed looking anxious at night with open notebook on bedside table

Do you ever find that during the day you can see the OCD thoughts arise, but they are less bothersome?  Then at night, just when you start to relax and get ready for bed, boom!  That’s when they start to get louder?

I’ve found recently that during the day, I’m pretty able to rationalise and dismiss OCD thoughts, but then at night that same thought from earlier in the day can reoccur, a bit like my brain saying:

‘Remember this, was it actually important?’

For whatever reason at night time the thought can be more sticky and before I know it, I have that anxious feeling and if I’m not really careful I’m off down the rabbit hole.

I do believe this is a relatively common phenomenon, not just for people who suffer with OCD but for everyone.

So why is it always worse at night?

The main reason I understand is that: at night the prefrontal cortex – our thinking brain – becomes less active and as a consequence the emotional brain is more in control and less filtered. 

Remember the emotional brain likes to:

  • Jump to an opinion
  • Think in black and white
  • Is paranoid
  • Catastrophises things
  • Is irrational
  • Judges’ things emotionally rather than logically
  • Produces more negative or exaggerated thoughts

From an evolutionary standpoint, in the past we would of needed to be on high alert throughout the night, as we would have been more vulnerable, so it does sort of make sense, however nowadays it causes us stress.

I also believe there can be an element of habit in there, the brain works on predicting and anticipating our behaviour and unfortunately if you’re a worrier then at that time in the evening the brain will deliver you some worrying thoughts, along with the associated brain chemicals because that’s what it always does!

I like this extract from Prof. Steve Peteres book which has helped me:

‘If you wake during the night, any thoughts or feelings you might have are from you chimp (emotional) brain and they are very often disturbing, catastrophic and lacking in perspective.  In the morning you are likely to regret engaging with these thoughts and feelings because you will see things differently. ‘

The rule I try to stick to is – Don’t engage between 10.30pm-6am – acknowledge the thought and set aside some ‘worry time’ the following day if needed, when the rational brain is switched on and working.  You may find the time is not necessary once you are up and about but in the night it gives you a way to delay engaging. 

At night we can feel wrapped up in our thoughts, finding ways to not push them away but to acknowledge and defuse from them can be really useful.  We need to switch the logical brain back on, not fully but enough to help pull ourselves out. 

Ways I’ve found to do this include,

  • Writing it down/journaling
  • Acknowledging the thought and allocating worry time the following day.
  • Recognising the thought as OCD say, ‘Thank you brain, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now’
  • Use Byron Katie’s – Is it true?  Is it 100% true? – If the answer is no, let it go!
  • I also saw the opposite of this the other day, ask yourself, ‘is there even a 1% chance that this might not be true?’  Works the same way by creating enough doubt to let go.
  • Mindfulness – Body scan starting at the toes / counting breathing
  • Be creative – Creativity switches on a different part of the brain – I like to plan yoga sequences as I fall asleep, but you could come up with a book idea, plan how to decorate your bedroom/house, decide what you’re going to cook for dinner tomorrow.  Maybe think of an act of kindness you could perform for someone. 

Remember fear lives in the vague and the brain is able to make black = white when the emotional brain is in charge.  Make sure you’re dealing with facts and the pre-frontal cortex and not self-made nonsense from the emotional brain – you know what I mean!

Not sure which brains in charge?  Ask yourself: ‘Am I struggling?’, If the answers ‘yes!’, chances are the emotional brains in control.

 If this is the case, whatever you do, don’t engage or try to reason with the thought, in my experience this always makes it worse!!!

In conclusion:

  • Don’t engage with thoughts between 10.30pm and 6am
  • Acknowledge the thought and allocate worry time the following day to deal with it then
  • Switch to thinking more mindfully or creatively – this uses a different part of the brain. 

OCD: a WARNING system NOT a WANTING system!

Posted in OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Man standing next to multiple industrial safety and warning signs in a warehouse

This is something I’ve been playing with this week and I’ve found it really helpful so I thought I’d share. 

Putting together a couple of ideas from previous posts:

1. When we have OCD the amygdala – whose primary function is to process emotions, especially fear and anxiety – is sending us a faulty signal that there is something which needs our attention right away and cannot wait.
and
2. OCD is ego-dystonic, meaning: against the self or being inconsistent with one’s true beliefs, values and personality.

It follows then that if we are getting pretty constant ‘faulty’ alerts from our amygdala’s and we know that these alerts are against our values, beliefs and personality, that we shouldn’t take much notice of them.

We need to see these alerts as a warning system – which is what it is and not a wanting system, which it couldn’t be further from being.

Our brain is basically saying; ‘Careful you wouldn’t want that to happen!’ or ‘If that happened wouldn’t it be awful?’ and all we have to do is say, ‘Yes! That would be awful, thanks for looking out for me brain.’

By acknowledging the thought and thanking the brain, we also help defuse ourselves from it (an idea used in ACT therapy), this logical process helps keep our thinking brain online. 

If we give the thoughts (obsessions) any time, we switch on our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight), where our thinking brain starts to switch off and then there’s no logic or reason available to us – not where we want to be.

In Summary
Know you are getting the thoughts as the brain is WARNING you of wrongly perceived danger and not because you are wanting or inviting the thoughts. 

Simple but effective, hope it helps,
As always, Stay Strong xxx

OCD: Why You Feel Exhausted All The Time

Posted in Mental Health, OCD, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Man sitting on bed with head bowed, hands clasped, in soft morning light

One thing that isn’t spoken about much in OCD and its recovery is just how exhausting it is. 

We’re told that we should, ‘carry on with our lives despite the OCD thoughts’ – which continue to pop in by the way – always sitting with, rather than avoiding our obsessions and generally making ERP a lifestyle choice! 

And whilst this is great advice which I agree with, it’s easy to forget that, when we’re consistently pushing outside of our comfort zones and taking part in exposures, it’s incredibly tiring for our nervous system. 

I’ve recently been training for a Sprint triathlon.  I signed up for this event in part because I’ve always been a bit anxious about swimming and I thought it would help push me through this anxiety and improve my confidence in the water. 
All good in theory but in practice, it has been exhausting.  I get into the pool, put my head under the water and my brain gets extremely loud. 
My swim teacher is amazing with lots of incredible tips and advice but if I listened to my brain, after that first swimming lesson, I would never have gotten back in the water.  The following day I was completely exhausted from how dysregulated my nervous system had been, and this is just one example. 

Therapists make ERP (Exposure Response Prevention) sound so simple and down on paper it is:

  1. Write a list of exposures,
  2. Tackle them one at a time,
  3. Sit with the associated anxiety without completing any compulsions. 
  4. The nervous system will reset on its own – as it’s designed to do.

The reality I’ve found however is that the nervous system does not reset easily, and it can feel easy to beat ourselves up about this.  In fact, what you have to do is treat your nervous system like a scared puppy which needs a hug.

Golden retriever puppy sitting on a rug looking upward indoors

I noticed the other day, when sitting with an uncomfortable thought, that I was holding unbelievable tension in my body, once I noticed and relaxed this tension the thought eased.
I wondered after whether, without recognising that I was holding tension and consciously letting it go would my brain of relaxed? Did it need the sign from my body to say, ‘hey, it’s OK’.

Remember the brain is in a black hole and relies on inputs from the body and senses to know whether its safe.  

I’ve also noticed recently that when out and about I quite often hold my arms across my body.  I’m pretty sure this is a protection mechanism from my nervous system and a way my body holds onto OCD created tension subconsciously. 

Do you notice yourself holding tension in your body when triggered? 

I get to wondering; is held tension a subconscious compulsion or the nervous systems reaction to me being dysregulated by my OCD obsessions? Or are both of these the same thing? 

If we can treat obsessions by letting them be – which should eventually release tension in the body, can we also treat obsessions by sending messages from the body through grounding techniques, muscle relaxation and breathwork to the brain? Maybe a bit of reach? But think, if our body appears relaxed, is the brain more likely to relax too and as a result produce positive thoughts rather than catastrophic ones?     

This is after all how breathwork works, it sends a contradictory message to the brain as an input through the vagus nerve telling the brain ‘there’s no need to panic’ and it can relax. Its also what I did the other day when by releasing tension in the body the brain eased too. 

There is a huge amount of research being done at the moment about how the gut and brain communicate and how most of the messages actually go from the gut up to the brain (80%). If our nervous system is sending copious messages up to the brain at all times, then surly a two pronged approach to OCD recovery: sitting with the thoughts (ERP) but also using body relaxation techniques – when not used in a compulsive way – should be beneficial for OCD recovery? 

Heading back to exhaustion for a moment – as a result of nervous system dysregulation through ERP exposures. Here we see a snowball effect as when we feel tried, we reach for the sugar and caffeine to keep us going, these can further dysregulate our nervous system, sleep and ability to relax.  Our internal environment then becomes even more challenging for our nervous system to reset and as a result the OCD obsessions can become more sticky.

Why not take a moment now and pause, see where your mind is at and whether you’re doing anything subconsciously to make the state of your mind worse than it needs to be. Are your shoulders tense, are you making a fist with your hand, do you push your nails into your palms or are you constantly on high alert? These are just a few examples but there are lots of ways the body reacts and holds tension when it doesn’t feel safe and regulated.  

Let me know your thoughts on using the body to calm the mind and if you’ve found it useful. I believe it has a place in OCD recovery as if we can’t relax our bodies our minds will never be still.

I really hope it helps,
As always, Stay Strong xxx

But how do I know if it’s OCD?

Posted in Mental Health, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Ocean waves forcefully crashing against a rocky outcrop in blue water

Ever heard your OCD brain saying:

‘How do I know if it’s OCD, this time it feels so real!’

This is one of OCD’s biggest hooks and it will throw it at you every single time. 

Each time you get triggered, for whatever reason, it will feel urgent and like it must be looked at right now!  In fact, if it does feel urgent you should use this as your first clue that it is your OCD at play.

A question I like to ask myself at these times is:

‘Am I struggling?’

If the answer to this question is yes, then use this as your second clue that OCD is playing its nasty game with you.   

One of the reasons we generally fall down the ‘ruminations rabbit hole’ is that we’re not 100% sure whether it’s our OCD, or whether this time the trigger is something to be genuinely worried about. 

But I can guarantee that if you’re struggling with the thought then you’ll be starting to spiral and if you’re spiralling you’ll be heading into your sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous system. 

When in this part of the nervous system we don’t think rationally, as the prefrontal cortex – our thinking brain – starts to go offline and our more primal survival brain starts to take over. 

This is not where we want to be when dealing with OCD thoughts as we don’t think rationally, it’s all about extremes and as a result we end up thinking what OCD is telling us is ‘reasonable’ somehow! 

Honestly the things my brains convinced me are possible when in fight or flight is madness and yet somehow, when in that dysregulated state, it seems perfectly reasonable. 

Here are some examples which might sound familiar:

  • That bump in the road was probably a human which I completely missed.
  • Even though I’ve already washed my hands they’re not clean.
  • What if I push that person into the road as I walk past them?
  • Maybe that red spot is blood, what if I pick up an infection from it?

In fact right now, as I’m writing these down, my brain is saying: ‘What if by writing these things down it makes them more likely to happen? ‘

I mean you get the idea, all the above are situations where OCD has taken 1 + 1 and come up with 20.  It has made huge leaps, completely by-passing any sort of logic, reason or fact and because you are in your sympathetic nervous system, it makes them seem possible! 

In summary,

  1. If it feels urgent
    or
  2. You’re struggling

know that it’s your OCD at play and you need to take a step back, definitely don’t engage!!!

It seems too simple but if you can keep these two ideas in your head when you get triggered then it will empower you to sit with the uncertainty. They also go a long way to helping you identify the thought as OCD and this is a well-known defusion exercise (from ACT therapy) which helps switch the thinking brain back on.

I know it’s unbelievably hard to sit with the uncertainty but know that completing any type of compulsion does nothing apart from validate the OCD trigger, highlights it as important to the brain and sends you off into your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) where all logic switches off.

Do your best to not engage with any OCD compulsions, OCD may appear to be your ‘helpful friend’ but it most defiantly isn’t.  Given the chance OCD will steel everything from you, it feels no empathy and will take you to hell if you let it!

I really hope these tips help you as much as they have me,
As always, Stay Strong xxx

Glimmers: Hope Amidst the OCD Noise

Posted in Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
GLIMMERS text over a silhouette of a person looking at the Milky Way galaxy.

When you have OCD your brain can feel so loud you think it’ll never be quiet again.  We catastrophise the world, always thinking worst case scenario, our brains are living in survival mode, unable to fully relax.

Anyone suffering from OCD will know how distressing and difficult it can be and at times our brains can feel like very dark places to inhabit. 

When I had my nervous breakdown back in 2021 my nervous system felt so dysregulated that the noise was unbelievably loud and constant!  Waking up was noisy, all day it was noisy and going to sleep was near impossible.    

At times I would sit outside in the garden, feeling pretty numb and watch the birds – mini glimmers I now realise.  I would find awe and beauty in watching them and they helped me remember that life is beautiful.     

What is a glimmer?

A Glimmer is a small, daily moment that sparks joy, safety, awe or gratitude.  It acts as the opposite of an OCD trigger.

I love the word ‘glimmers’ as it speaks to something magical and when you experience them they do feel magical. 

When everything is incredibly loud a ‘glimmer’ can feel like a bright light, pushing its way through the intense darkness – similar to a star in the night sky, all the more beautiful because of the darkness surrounding it. 

My OCD has taken a lot from me over the years but one thing it has given me is the ability to truly appreciate the small, beautiful things in life – which I believe most people miss.    

I can remember a time, not too long after my nervous breakdown, I’d come back from the school run and sat down on the sofa, I then had a moment of quiet.  It wasn’t long and I didn’t recognise the fact until after it had happened, but this little glimmer gave me hope.  It was enough to show me that it was possible for my brain to be quiet again.  This moment has stayed with me and was and still is highly significant to me in my recovery journey.

Can you think of any times when you’ve had a ‘glimmer’? They really are magical moments.

Remember to always look for the light in the darkness, like a moth to a flame, head for that light and hold onto it with all you have.

Remember you are not alone,  
As always, Stay Strong xxx