So I’ve had a little break from blogging over the last month. Really because my life just got stupidly busy but also partly because I find it easier to blog when I am having an OCD ‘episode’ for want of a better word. It’s much easier to be honest and helpful rather then preachy if I am experiencing what I am blogging about at the time. I guess one of the only downsides of recovery is that this happens less often and therefore I have less to share.
I have a lot going on at the moment and I have found that it’s come with a barrage of OCD and anxiety, oh joy! One of the upsides of being very busy though is that I don’t really have any time to give to the thoughts and so although they are coming at me, I am able to bat them away with relative success. This is obviously also a result of a lot of hard work over the years as in the past it wouldn’t matter how busy I was, the thoughts would still consume me.
So even though I’ve been doing my best over the last month I have had a couple of little ‘blips’ which, luckily I have managed to shake off but still it’s a very unwelcome reminder of how easy it is to slip back and how all consuming OCD can be.
I think the word consume is quite fitting when it comes to OCD, when a thought gets me that I just can’t shake for one reason or another it feels like all the light, joy and happiness has been sucked out of my world and there is just an all consuming darkness which comes over me. I would imagine this is a bit what depression must feel like too. It doesn’t matter how much good stuff you have going on, you just can’t break free.
Getting things done while suffering from OCD has always been tough for me. As each activity throughout the day normally has some sort of associated OCD thought. It can be a lot easier to avoid doing anything, this is definitely something I still battle daily.
Confidence is something else that my OCD has robbed me of and I am really unsure about how I will ever truly rebuild this part of my personality. It has been pretty much ripped to shreds by a mental illness which is completely relentless.
Right so I don’t mean to moan, this blog is all about finding ways to combat OCD, including all the things I’ve just mentioned above.
So we have the:
All consuming thoughts
Well if you have OCD you’ll know how hard it is to combat the all consuming thoughts, after all this is pretty much what OCD is. I’ve talked about lots of ways to fight thoughts in this blog but I’ve got to say I think the some of the things that work the best for me are:
- Be mindful, somehow bring your thoughts back to what is right in front of you and don’t let your mind wonder onto if’s, but’s or maybes.
- Distract yourself with a new task/conversion/activity/anything to bring your mind away from the intrusive thought.
- Accept that the darkness/doubt feeling won’t lift straight away, you need to be patient with yourself
The procrastination from fear
The procrastination unfortunately is something you just have to face head on. There is no way around it, you just have to go through it. I quite often find that the anticipation is worse than the actual event and that once you have got something done sometimes the thoughts just disappear.
Sometimes they don’t and you have to work on dismissing them the other end but if you move strongly from one task to the next and don’t give yourself time to think on the past event, then sometimes you can’t even remember what it is you were worrying about, how wonderful! Being busy is definitely your friend and OCD knows this and tries to stop you doing things, don’t let it!
The lack of confidence
The confidence thing is something I really need to work on, because of my false memory OCD it is really hard to to truly believe and trust in myself and my own judgement. There aren’t many people in this world who want to build you up and you really have to believe in yourself to succeed. It’s something really worth working on, it’s all about baby steps I guess and knowing that you’re just as good as everyone else. Don’t let that OCD bully knock you down.
I hope some of my thoughts have been of use, OCD really is an ongoing daily battle but it can really help to know you’re not battling it alone and so thanks for all the positive feedback.
Stay Strong xxx