Tag: mental wellness

OCD: The Subtypes are Irrelevant

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Girl playing a colorful whack-a-mole arcade game

‘The subtypes are irrelevant’. When I first heard this statement about OCD I believe I rejected it, but once you start to zoom out a bit and observe OCDs wicked game, especially when you’ve had OCD for a while and have lots of evidence to look at, you can see that the subtypes are just a cover for what’s really happening underneath, which is your inability to sit with doubt and uncertainty. 

OCD will pick a subject which you care about, where you can’t tolerate uncertainty and it’ll set up camp. It honestly doesn’t care what the theme is, it’s just looking to get you hooked and fixated on something. 

It’s my belief that this is a mechanism in the brain, very similar to anxiety, designed to slow you down and keep you trapped and therefore ‘safe’ from perceived harm.  It’s a way of making you feel like you’re in control in a world that is uncontrollable.  It’s also my belief that this is why so often OCD is triggered in times of stress and dysregulation.

I’ve had OCD since I was 11, so that’s 30 years now, and I’ve noticed through my own experience that the theme jumps about, also known as, ‘whack-a-mole’.
When I was young I worried about my family coming to harm and as grew up I worried I might harm someone myself and now as I’m older with a family I worry something might happen to me or I could do something which would harm them.  It’s always locking onto my vulnerabilities, which is ultimately how much I care about the people around me. 

When my health anxiety is heightened, the harm OCD gets quieter, and vice versa.  Also some days old themes pop back in and depending on my how regulated my nervous system is on that day, I’m either able to completely dismiss the thought OR it can take hold again, argh!!!!!!!

So if I’m aware of all of this, how come it’s still able to get me? 
I wrote a post a few weeks back which included a story called, The Elephant and the Rider, in this story it uses the metaphor of an elephant to explain how powerful the limbic system (emotional part of the brain) is.  It can take hold of you and drag you down, it will lie and do whatever it can to get your attention and keep you stuck, IF it thinks it needs to. 

This is why noticing your triggers and not letting them take hold is of the upmost importance, this is the only real control you have in OCD, as once the limbic system gets involved you are falling down the rabbit hole to fantasy land, where anything seems possible. 

When you see that trigger pop up, notice it, label it as OCD and say:

‘Thank you OCD that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now.’

And then carry on with your day. 

Twelve words, sounds too simple right? 
But it is the ONLY way I have found that works. 

I really hope it helps,
Stay Strong xxx

OCD, Perfectionism & The Monkey Mind

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Security guard thinking about venue safety checks and guest list

I’ve never thought of myself as a perfectionist in the past, I’m not the tidiest person or the smartest and I think I’ve always had an image in my head of a perfectionist as a highly put together, successful person.  Of course this may still be right, highly successful people may struggle with the idea of failing but my perfectionism is a little more insidious than that. 

I spend quite a lot of time in my sympathetic nervous system, more commonly known as fight or flight and one trait of this is that you think in extremes, all or nothing, black and white.  This sort of thinking allows very little room for error or mistakes, especially when combined with your OCD themes, which are of course based around the things you care about the most and can’t tolerate uncertainty or doubt around.

AS a result when you combine these two  traits you create a situation where anything expect 100% certainty – perfectionism – is acceptable.

Perfect is impossible

When we’re triggered – for whatever reason – we fall into fight or flight, losing our ability to see nuance.  This takes away our permission to be human because we know being perfect is impossible for anyone, we then beat ourselves up and try to ‘fix’ the perceived issue. 

We can think of this way of thinking as our monkey mind, the more primitive part of our brain which keeps us alive and safe, in fact this is ALL it cares about. Staying alive. 
In the past this would of included not being kicked out of our tribe, so not making mistakes which may cause this would have been important.  ‘What would others think of me if they could see my thoughts and know I wasn’t perfect?’.  Sound familiar?

Why does the monkey mind overestimate threats?

The monkey mind has issues with calculating threats correctly. Estimating odds and making risk assessments are done elsewhere in the brain and so it can only guess.  Why wouldn’t it err on the side of safety?  Why would it take the risk?  The monkey mind CANNOT be reasoned with, comforted or distracted from its mission. The only way we can override it is with our behaviours.

The monkey mind doesn’t realise there is more to life than just surviving,

‘…reasoning with the monkey mind is impossible, its too primitive to see the big picture that you can see with the rest of your brain.  The monkey has a narrow little view of the world, it’s perception of what’s threat and what isn’t can only be altered by one thing. It learns by watching you do.  if you want to stop being ruled by your monkey you are the one who will have to change’ – passage taken from ‘Don’t feed the monkey mind’ by Jennifer Shannon

The above paragraph highlights beautifully how narrow a view this part of the brain has and why it is so important to let the thoughts be and carry on. 

We need to see it as the more animalist side of our brains, I think as humans we don’t like this less civilised part of us but it is largely responsible for our survival so we shouldn’t wish for it not to be there, in fact people with little to no anxious tendencies tend not to live as long – however they may not care about this!   

When regulated and not in fight or flight I can observe my monkey mind throwing pretty much constant live or die scenarios at me and it can be tiring to let them flow over me and not engage.  Most people have a ‘bouncer’ on the door to their conscious mind saying, ‘no you can’t come in’ or ‘not today mate you’re too drunk, go home’, when these thoughts come in however when we have OCD there is a fault here like the ‘bouncer’ has gone on his break, as a result more of these catastrophic thoughts tend to get through.

We have to act as our own bouncer, carrying on with our day, allowing the thoughts to pop up and pass through as best we can, I know it’s hard but it’s the only way.

Just writing this today has been a helpful reminder for me, I really hope it helps you too.

As Always,
Stay Strong xxx

Should, Must and Slowing Down

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Split image showing stressed woman rushing with thoughts versus calm woman meditating peacefully

Do you ever get up in the morning and your mind feels busy, like there’s too much to do and not enough hours in the day?

This was me this morning, my mind was rushing round not knowing how it was going to cope with everything I had planned.

Luckily this morning I got up a bit earlier than I needed to for my morning class and I was able to observe this state.

Now I am a busy mum of two, and it is the summer holidays currently so stress levels are probably higher than usual BUT today both my children are at football club and the only thing fixed engagement on my schedule was to teach my early morning yoga class.

So why did I feel so dysregulated and out of control?

Enter the Shoulds and the Musts

Shoulds and musts are: ‘rigid, unrealistic rules we place on ourselves, others, or the world. They are an unhelpful thinking style in psychology that creates heavy emotional stress, guilt, and anxiety when we or other people fail to meet impossible standards. ‘

My brain, seeing that I had a small amount of spare time between finishing my class and picking my children up from holiday club, had ‘helpfully’ filled it with all the things that I ‘should’ do. 

BUT what I had unknowing done by filling every second was tell my brain that there’s no time to stop or slow down, that it MUST keep going or, well what?  I’ve failed?  I’m not good enough?  What is that drive that keeps us pushing ourselves endlessly and not allowing ourselves to stop?

I could see this morning that my brain was frantic, unable to settle and it was causing me to feel incredibly stressed and dysregulated.

So what did I do? 
I allowed myself to sit and drink my coffee in quiet, I didn’t pick up my phone and start scrolling.  I observed how fast my mind was running.

I then removed all the ‘shoulds’ from my day and allowed myself some space to breath.  This included not doing my strength training session, which was hard, as not only my brain but society tells us how important strength training is but my body felt tired, my brain needed space and the gym wasn’t going to give me that today.  In fact the gym was another way to punish and push myself – raising my cortisol levels even higher, not what I needed.

Instead I forced myself to slow down, showing my brain there was no emergency, no need to rush no need to panic.

Awareness
The feeling didn’t dissipate immediately, it lingered and I could feel my mind trying to find something to attach that feeling to.  Dangerous territory, it went over old OCD thoughts trying to pull me into a spiral but for whatever reason today, I was detached enough and aware enough to observe this happening and was able to allow the thoughts to be and pass through.

Since I had my second bought of vertigo recently this is how my brain has felt, on high alert, definitely in fight or flight. I think my tendency in the past, when feeling like this, has been to push.  Push into more, make myself busier, work harder, train harder, take on more, but all this does is create more dysregulation and less peace. 

As I get older, I want the peace, the ability to slow down and let my busy brain take a breath is a superpower.

Have you experienced states like this?  Have you been able to observe them?

I leave you with this wonderful quote to ponder:

‘The quieter you become the more you are able to hear’ -Rumi



As Always
Stay Strong xxx

OCD, Perspective & An Elephant

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Blindfolded men touching different parts of an elephant's body in a dusty courtyard.

Perspective can be defined as: ‘a point of view’ or ‘way of thinking about things’ and I would argue when you have OCD your perspective is somewhat skewed towards the negative, worst case scenario and quite often completely illogical.

This is mostly due to the fact that we’re not thinking with our cognitive brains. When triggered by OCD obsessions, our more animalistic brain takes over and this one likes to think in black and white – no time for nuance when the obsession is being categorised as a life or death situation!

I heard a lovely story, which I believe originated in India, which highlights the flaws in perspective nicely:

Six blind men were asked to determine what an elephant looked like by feeling different parts of the elephants body. The blind man who feels a leg says the elephant is like a pillar, the one who feels the tail says the elephant is like a rope, the one who feels the trunk says the elephant is like a tree branch; the one who feels the ear say the elephant is like a hand fan; the one who feels the belly says the elephant is like a wall; and the one who feels the tusk says the elephant is like a solid pipe. -Taken from Brightening our inner skies Yin and Yoga by Norman Blair

We can learn from this story that quite often in life we are not seeing the whole picture. Our anxious brains have got us to focus in on the worst case scenario, often catastrophizing events to laughable levels, this causes us endless unnecessary suffering.

Do you find you catastrophise events and lose perspective?
Remember you are not alone, this is incredibly common but by having some knowledge we can remind ourselves that quite often there is another more favourable way to look at things.

If you most catastrophise then why not DO IT POSITIVELY!

As always,
Stay Strong xxx

Breaking the Cycle: Awareness in OCD Recovery

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Diagram of thought-feeling-behaviour cycle with three connected circles labeled Thoughts, Feelings/Emotions, and Behaviours/Actions

We learn in CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) that thoughts, feeling and behaviours are all linked and influence each other. 

We also learn that we have very little control over our thoughts and that we all definitely get thoughts which come in unbidden and randomly.

It always blows my mind that they don’t teach these lessons at school. How much suffering could be prevented if people we’re given even a small insight into the nature of thoughts.

As an example, if we’re not careful,

Automatic thoughts – potentially intrusive OCD ones – can come in and produce feelings – probably of unease, disgust, aversion or fear – which then influence our behaviours – driving things like avoidance, compulsions and irritability to name just a few. All from thoughts WE CANNOT CONTROL!!!!!

As we grow older we become more automated as people, the brain is clever and as it leans things it automates them for us. Things such as brushing our teeth, tying our shoes laces and even driving – which once required huge effort – over time require little to no mental challenge for us. 

Maybe less obvious then are the mental habits we form as we grow. The same thoughts tick round our heads daily, efficiently taking us about our normal routines. This is very appealing to the brain, who’s top priority is to keep you safe, which is does by predicting what you’re going to do next and so it has no huge incentive to change these automatic patterns.

When we suffer from OCD or anxiety these habitual thoughts may not be overly helpful, in fact they can be incredibly distressing but the brain doesn’t particularly care as it’s top priority is to keep you safe and it will happily pick a predictable hell over an unpredictable heaven. 

You see this again and again in life, people making the same mistakes even though they can see they’re not helpful.

In OCD we see this pattern too.  We know the thoughts are distressing and unhelpful, but all the brain sees is that you are safe and well if the OCD thoughts continue to come in and so it continues to throw them your way.  Why take the risk afterall that they’re not real, better to have you safe at home in your own head then thriving and living your best life. 

Awareness is the key. We have to be awake to our automated habits, becoming an observer so that we are able to see the ones that are useful – brushing your teeth – and the ones that aren’t – OCD loops. 

Ever had the experience where you wake up in the morning and for a second you feel calm and peaceful before all the OCD thoughts come rushing in and you feel yourself sinking into a spiral again?  Well that’s your automatic brain habits switching on, even just noticing this effect can be revolutionary and it really is the first step to changing them. 

I mentioned yoga a couple of posts ago and how it can be helpful for OCD recovery, yoga is all about action and reflection at it’s core.  We move, we observe and we change if necessary.  Modern life is chaotic and it’s only becoming more so as our attention is constantly being pulled here and there. Yoga gives you a space to breath, stop, slow down and observe, allowing you to make changes where needed and empowering you to take back control from those unhelpful automatic patterns.

Mindfulness is also an incredibly powerful tool here, how present are you in your life? How much of your time is spent thinking about the past, predicting the future or looping through OCD sprials? So little time is spent in the present moment and yet it’s all we have.

OCD and anxiety cannot live in the present, the more we train our minds to come back to the present moment, the happier we will all be.      

Do you have an mindfulness practice? It doesn’t have to be complicated, maybe just try slowing down and noticing what’s around you more throughout your day.

As Always,
Stay Strong xxx

OCD & Anxiety – An Illusion of Control

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Mage using magical powers to summon a swirling storm vortex on a cliff beside a turbulent sea

As humans we have the gift to be able to think about and analyse our thoughts, feelings and general experiences in life. 

This is a gift, which has enabled us to become the most dominant species on earth, even though we’re not the fasted or fiercest in the animal kingdom.

However, the world likes to be in balance and so we should expect that with such a great gift comes the potential for great pain and suffering.

Our ability as humans to plan, create, and rerun scenarios in our heads, can also be used for our own self-destruction if we’re not careful.

With this awareness comes the knowledge that we aren’t as in control of the world as we would like to be and this creates great discomfort for us. 

Our brains are designed to work out and fix problems to enable us to survive, it doesn’t care if we’re thriving and living your best lives it just wants us safe. Unfortunately the brain, as smart as it is, isn’t great at telling the difference between an imagined reality and our real one, here we can see how we can create suffering for ourselves, enter anxiety and OCD.

Quite often, in my experience, the onset of anxiety and OCD coincides with times of stress where we feel out of control or unsafe, throwing us into our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight).

At these times the brain creates anxiety to stop us in our tracts, forcing us to pull back and OCD to keep us stuck inside our own heads. 

Both scenarios work to immobilise us, stop us living our lives, slowing us down and to be honest they’re generally pretty successful at it. 

They use our human gifts of imagination, memory (past experiences) and prediction (perceived future experiences) against us, creating at times unbearable feelings, doubts, fears and uncertainty. 

Having suffered from both OCD and anxiety in my time I know just how strong they can be.

I hear a lot of therapists saying, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ and even though this is great advice I also know, from lived experience, that if you push too hard when you’re anxious and don’t respect your need to rest as well, your nervous system will get louder, not quieter. 

There is a balance we must find between, sitting with it and respecting it, which can be incredibly tricky to do. 

This week I saw a return of my BPPV – a type of vertigo – in the past this has caused me huge anxiety and panic and so it’s been a tricky week, my brain has felt scared and I’ve had to pull back to respect that. 

My anxiety has made me feel tired, fatigued, off balance and like I’d like to do nothing more then stay at home and do nothing. 

As a result I’ve removed some of the extra activities I’d normally do when feeling my best, like my strength training, to allow my brain and body time to rest and see that it is safe to relax again. 

I’ve still taught my yoga classes but had to cue rather than partake, all while sitting with the uncomfortable anxious feelings my brain is sending my way.  This is the balance I am talking about, it is a tricky one and a life long skill which we need to master. 

Life is chaotic and unpredictable and as humans we hate this but the more we push against it the more we suffer.  OCD is an ultimate version of this, trying to eliminate all doubt is impossible, there will always be another, ‘What if?’ or ‘Maybe?’ and in the end you need to trust that when a situation arises you will make the right decision and be capable of handling it.

You got this, as always,
Stay Strong xxx 

Can Yoga Help OCD Recovery?

Posted in Keeping Active, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Awareness Week, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Woman doing tree pose yoga in forest with joyful small creature dancing beside her

I feel I must be extremely careful when I speak about more holistic approaches to OCD recovery.  Ultimately there are lots of useful tools that can help us manage day to day life, build resilience and make us more psychologically flexible.  However, if any of these are used in a compulsive way it could be argued that they are not assisting with recovery but potentially delaying it. 

As with so many things in life there is incredible nuance here and I can only really go off my own personal experience.

I remember the first time I heard someone say that ‘breathwork is a coping mechanism’ and how completely outraged I felt about it.  Breathwork, in particular the physiological sigh, was completely life changing for me, but having thought about it some more I can see how in an ideal world we shouldn’t need to control our breathing to feel OK – I do believe it still has it’s place but that’s probably another post. 

So it’s not as simple as we’d like it to be but here are some things I know:

  1. Getting rid of the thoughts is not the aim in OCD recovery
  2. Managing and maintaining good mental health, as with good physical health, is a lifelong task. 
  3. If we take good care of ourselves, making sure we get good sleep, nutrition, movement, relaxation and social connections in our lives, we build higher resilience and are therefore better able to let the thoughts pass through more easily.
  4. Yoga is highly accessible for everyone – it meets you where you’re at
  5. Movement matters, when we can’t shift our minds moving our bodies helps move the chemicals through more quickly.
  6. If you find it hard to meditate but know you should, yoga can be a moving meditation.

I have personally practiced yoga for years and have taught it for the last 6.  I can honestly say, it has the potential to change the way you think and feel.  It brings me joy, the ability to help and connect with others and takes me out of my busy mind, if only for a short while.

At the heart of yoga is awareness and when we have OCD so many things can become automatic, yoga brings you back into the moment and asks you to question automatic habits and thoughts.

Now I’m not saying it’s a cure, I still have OCD, but like I said at the start it’s not about getting rid of the thoughts but being able to see them for what they are, just thoughts.  Yoga helps build the resilience and awareness to do this more easily. 

A lot of people when they think of yoga, think of Instagram reels of people doing crazy poses but once you start to dig a bit deeper you see that there is unbelievable depth and variance to the practice.  Yoga is most definitely for everyone, and I have seen it transform and change multiple people. I can safely say that you will not regret adding yoga in as a tool to your toolbox.

Not sure where to start?  Then check out my short course here – I did write this course a few years back now and I’m hoping to add some updates in the future but the basic practices are still a great place to get started.

I hope it helps, As always
Stay Strong xxx

OCD: Stop trying to Control your Obsessions!

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Gremlin peeking out from a partially open wooden crate labeled 'Property of Gremlin's Cave - Do Not Open'

Are you trying to control your obsessions? Are they based around things you have no control over? Is this then a completely fruitless task?

Some interesting questions but lets take a step back for a second and clarify a couple of things. What is an OCD obsession anyway?

An OCD obsession is:
‘… a recurring, unwanted thought, image, urge, or impulse that repeatedly enters a person’s mind and causes significant anxiety, distress, or discomfort.’

Things we can’t control include: feelings, emotions, thoughts, images & urges. 

Take a moment now and recognise whether your OCD has come from something you have NO control over!

Hopefully that was a lightbulb moment.    

Woman having a bright idea with a light bulb above her head while studying at a desk

So much of OCD is focused in on the things we can’t control.  It can feel so powerful, and overwhelming at times, as if it deserves our time and attention but as a human we need to learn that we’re not fully in control of our internal environment and to allow these automatic ‘features’ of the human condition to just be.

We don’t have to believe every thought, feeling etc that comes into our head. Most of the time the brain is just throwing things out there to see if they stick and we have to be like Teflon, letting the thoughts just float through, showing the brain that they are irrelevant. Only then will it go off to find something else to throw your way instead, which you then need to allow to float through, so the brain sees that as irrelevant too. Get the idea?

It’s when we give these normal, automatic thoughts time and energy that the brain perks up and thinks they’re important.  It takes it as a sign that you want to see more of that content and so we can see how spirals start to happen. 

On days when I don’t let the thoughts stick it is unbelievable how many different thoughts come my way, the brain is throwing them out there constantly and it’s your job to just do nothing, in the same way it’s the brains job to keep throwing random thoughts and ideas your way. Occasionally it comes up with good ones too remember, they’re not all intrusive and unwanted.  

Why do we give away our power, focus and attention to things outside of our control?

Basically because the limbic system – emotional part of the brain – is more powerful than the cognitive one.  Yes, our thinking brain is not actually the one in control most of the time. As a result we have to learn to work with our emotional brain, not against it – as this is pretty much impossible. 

There’s a famous metaphor called: ‘The Rider and the Elephant’, which helps to describe this idea. 

The rider represents our thinking brain, good at analytics and planning, but small relative to the enormous elephant.  The elephant, represents our emotional brain, it’s vast, powerful, and often driven by instinct.  The rider has the reins but needs to work with the elephant in harmony, as when the elephant gets stirred it has the ability to dislodge the rider if it wishes. 

Person riding an elephant on a dirt path at sunrise with misty landscape

And so we have to work with, not against our emotional brain.  It is powerful and has the ability to hijack our rational thinking. 

We work with it by accepting the obsessions when they come in.  It’s worth noting here that accepting the obsessions doesn’t mean you like, agree with or want them in any way, it just shows the brain that they are irrelevant to you and so it doesn’t need to give them any of your time, attention or awareness.

It can feel impossible at times I know but the more we push back/away the stronger they become.  Like a tug of war, we have to let go of the rope not pull harder.  

My favourite phrase to use is:

‘Thank you brain, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now.’ 

This way you are acknowledging the obsession but not pushing it away or investing any time in it.

‘But how do I know if it’s OCD or something that does need paying attemtion to?’ I hear you ask.

Ask yourself the following questions: ‘Am I struggling?’ 

If the answer is ‘Yes!’, then its your OCD and you need to step away from the content. 

I think it’s so important to remind ourselves of these basics, as at times, especially when triggered, it can feel hard to remember that you didn’t ask for the obsession and as a result it doesn’t mean anything!

I really hope this helps, as always,
Stay Strong xxx

6 Strategies to Combat OCD Spirals

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Person standing outdoors at night looking up at the Milky Way galaxy in the star-filled sky

This week I’ve been under the weather, nothing too extreme just a cold but the impact it’s had on my mental health and resilience levels I thought was worth highlighting. 

I’ve spoken before about the threat bucket and how each day we wake up with a base level of resilience.  This can change day-to-day depending on how we feel, how well we’ve taken care of ourselves, what’s going on with our health as well as what’s happening in the world around us. So many things can knock our resilience day to day, not to mention our OCD. 

Understandably then as I got slowly more poorly over the weekend my resilience levels got lower.

I observed as Saturday went on how the thoughts became stickier and by bedtime on Saturday an old theme had come in and had properly taken hold, as a result I did not sleep well. 

Sunday was tricky, already dysregulated because of my cold, add on top my bad night’s sleep and the ability to sit with the OCD thoughts as they came in became much more challenging.

What to do then when things are stacking up against you, despite your best efforts.

I found it useful once again to refer to my notebook, as I said in last weeks post, it’s vital to prepare for the hard times when you’re feeling good, try and make a compilation of all the things that help and uplift you, so you can refer to them when you’re not thinking as cognitively.

Anything that is going to switch your thinking brain back on, is going to be useful, become curious, be creative or find awe in the world. 

At 4am on Saturday morning the birds started singing outside and that bought me some peace, I have always found awe and wonder in birds, and this helps to pull me out of the depths of OCD spirals. 

I’ve written about these before, but I think they’re worth repeating.  Here are 6 of the best ways I know to pull yourself out of a spiral (fight or flight):

  1. Creativity – this will mean different things for different people but creativity is amazing at switching on a different part of the brain, drawing your attention away from the catastrophizing part. Quite often if you can focus on creating something, whether it be a piece of art, a yoga sequence, something in the kitchen, garden, workshop, on the computer, anything that gets you thinking outside the box, you will start to draw your attention back to a more balance place.
    What’s your creative outlet?
  2. Curiosity – This can be curiosity about anything, quite often when we become curious and interested in something it grounds us and pulls us away from that extreme black and white thinking. Try asking why? Maybe investigate how something works or why it’s the way it is.
    Have you ever wondered about anything?
  3. Humour – is fabulous for getting the brain to switch modes. It works because its unexpected, remember the brain is a prediction machine and it’s pretty good at it. When a joke comes along and it doesn’t end where the brain think it will, BAM! You’re out of default mode and the brain is switched on and listening.
    Do you like any comedians? Go and look up one of their new sets online.
  4. Awe – part of the joy of being human is our ability to find awe. It can really give you some perspective when you look at the stars, birds, clouds, landscape etc. Going out into the world and finding things that make you think, wow! Is very important to our wellbeing and it helps us reset.  What brings you that feeling of awe?
  5. A Challenge – this can be tricky when you’re in fight or flight but something which I found fun – from Martha Becks book – was to try and write your signature backwards. It takes a huge amount of focus and is very grounding. Go on, give it a try!
  6. Foundations Work – movement, nutrition, sleep, relaxation & social connection.  This takes an element of doing what you know is good for you, even when you don’t feel like it. We must take action first, do the things we know make us feel better in the long run, your body and brain will thank you.

 These have all been great for me at different times, give them a go and see if they help you too. 

But are these compulsions I hear you ask?  I would argue if you’re not doing them out of a desperate need, then no.  If you feel low and dysregulated then doing things to reregulate your system such as eating well, socialising or being creative are constructive and recommended by professionals, however if you find you’re doing them compulsively then step away!

I really hope it helps,
Stay Strong xxx

OCD – The Thief of Joy

Posted in Getting Help, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, Mindfulness, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Raccoon wearing a beanie and striped sweater carrying a glowing 'Joy' sign and a bag labeled 'Sorted Treasures'

You may have heard that famous quote:

‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ – Theodore Roosevelt

and well this is no doubt true, I would argue that OCD is actually a pretty good contender too. 

To experience joy, we must be open to experiences, receptive to others and be able to appreciate the world we live in, not only that we also need to feel like we deserve to be joyful.

All of these things require us to be in our parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest); we need to feel relaxed and at ease with the world around us, not overwhelmed by it.    

Unfortunately when we have OCD, we are rarely in our parasympathetic nervous system, we spend a lot of time in our own heads, dysregulating ourselves (fight or flight) with imagined realities, compulsions and overthinking.  All this means we are less receptive to the world around us, less productive and sadly less able to experience joy. 

Add to this the fact that when you have OCD you don’t always feel like you deserve to have joy in your life.  In fact you can feel quite the opposite, that you’re not a great person and instead of trying to find joy you beat yourself up and make yourself feel even worse! 

Remember, OCD is not your friend, it’s not trying to help you, build you up or make you feel good.  In fact given the opportunity it will tear you down piece by piece until there’s nothing left.  Yes, it sounds brutal and relentless and just like the high school bully, that’s exactly what it is!!!! 

A large student with crossed arms confronts a smaller student smiling and holding books in a school hallway with lockers and bulletin board

OCD – The distractor

I’ve been reading some yoga books recently and I came across the following quote, from Brightening our inner skies (beautiful title) by Norman Blair, which really resonated with me:

‘My disorderly awareness deprived me in the midst of plenty’ – John Tarrant

In the book Norman talks of reasons people seek out meditation, this was John’s reason. 

You don’t have to have OCD to notice that the mind likes to pull you away from the present.  In fact, in today’s society, with our attention being a source of income for big companies, it’s getting ever harder to just be ‘in the moment’. 

It also resonated with me on an OCD level.  I realised that my OCD constantly pulls me away from the things I care about, my life and family, depriving me from experiencing joy and happiness and disrupting my memories – oh yes, when dysregulated memory gets distorted too. 

How then do we stay present when OCD is so intent on pulling us into an alternate reality, of its own making, to distract us from all that we have and want to be? 

Are you able to pause and notice the nonsense? 

When I have days where the OCD is less sticky, I am able to see the constantly changing nature of thoughts and the mind for what it is.  It’s truly fascinating just how many avenues the mind tries to pull us down daily. 

It’s like standing in the middle of a storm, the wind is trying to pull you in one direction, the rain is pushing you in the other.  Your job is to stand there and watch with no attachment or investment in any way.   

Man in green raincoat with backpack bracing against cold wind and rain by stormy seaside

So much energy and mental effort for what?  In times of dysregulation the brain can take you anywhere and tell you anything and it all seems plausible.  It can make you think that repeating actions, counting numbers, replaying conversations, has a point, when in reality, it’s all just wasted time and energy. 

Once you recognise this and stop, it can all start to feel a bit empty.  Maybe regretful that you’ve wasted so much time and energy on an imagined reality.

How do you feel about finding stillness and being more present?  Is it tricky for you?

Maybe sit now and take a breath, notice what’s around you, feel the ground underneath your feet and the air on your lip as you breath in.

Does it feel easy, hard? 

It can take time, the brain won’t like it to start but think how much more energy you will have and more connected you will feel when you stop letting OCD steal your mental headspace and joy.    

I would love to know your thoughts on my ramblings, do you feel like joy is hard when OCD is loud?  Have you found any good ways to ground and reset your nervous system?

As Always, you are not alone,
Stay Strong xxx