Category: Mental Wellbeing

Understanding OCD Through Relational Framework Theory

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Does this sound familiar?

You’re out enjoying your day, you feel happy, in fact you feel really good and then all of a sudden out of no where you get hit with an OCD obsession.  ‘Ugh you think, why now when I was having so much fun and feeling so happy?’    

Why indeed?

Well there’s a theory to why this happens and it’s called, ‘relational framework theory’ in fact it’s what ACT – acceptance commitment therapy – is built upon.

I’m sure I’m not going to be as good as the creators at explaining how it works so please go look up Steven C. Hayes if you have a chance but the theory is based upon the concept that humans think relationally. 

This basically means that humans can and do relate objects in their environment to other objects. Virtually in any possible way e.g. same as, better than, opposite of, greater than, faster than, part of, similar to or like, before and after, if/then, family relationships, near and far etc,
There are all sorts of ways in which we sort and link information in our minds and it has been amazing for our evolutionary progress however it also opens us up to the possibility of immense suffering.   

Lets dig a little deeper

As we grow as humans, we create vast networks of relationships in our brains.  We link objects together so we are better able to make sense of them and recall them when needed. 

Ever found that when learning something new if you can relate it to or build upon something you already know it’s far easier to remember?  Or when you try and recall someone’s name it can help to remember where you know them from? 

This is because your brain has linked ‘Julie from the gym’, with the gym in your head, therefore remembering the gym will help you recall Julie’s name. 

Julie from the gym might also have other connections such as she has a daughter who goes to the same school you used to attend or maybe she likes to play netball and so does your friend Jane – Jane and Julie will now be linked in your mental framework too.

Here’s a little game you can play to help demonstrate this further:

Write down one noun – any type of object or animal will do

Noun 1 _________________________

Now write down a second noun

Noun 2________________

Now answer the following 3 questions:

  1. How is the first noun related to the second one?
  2. How is the first noun better than the second one?
  3. How is the first one the parent of the second one? 

The third one can take a bit longer but given a bit of time an answer will come.

This exercise highlights how the brain can relate anything to anything else!!!!!!!  It is an interesting insight as ultimately not everything can be the parent of everything; however, the brain justifies these relations by features it abstracts from the related facts. Your mind can always find a justification for that relation!  Sound similar to OCD?

Bringing us back then to OCD and the start of this post.

We can see how obsessions (unwanted, intrusive, and distressing thoughts, images, urges, or feelings that repeatedly enter a person’s mind and cause significant anxiety.) can become linked to events, people, places, circumstances, actions, words, smells, music/sounds etc.

The obsession, whatever it is, can become attached to an existing relational framework in our brain, triggering our OCD every time we then come into contact with that object or framework in the future!

‘ARGH!!!!!!!!!’

Does this sound familiar? 

Can you think of any frameworks that OCD has latched onto?  Maybe something in your bedtime routine, perhaps when you cook a meal and get the knives out, maybe when left on your own with your kids, perhaps when the news comes on, or it could be when you get into your car, the things OCD can attach itself onto are literally endless.

And unfortunately, once it has attached itself, as far as I’m aware, there’s no easy way to unattach it again.

Having an awareness of this is so important for OCD recovery because we have to accept that we are going to get triggered, and if we fight it, push it away or try and block it out, it just makes it stronger and even more sticky.  You can’t unravel these networks they are too vast and convoluted.    

So what can we do?

We have to let go of the struggle.

There’s a lovely ACT metaphor which illustrates this nicely

Someone is standing in a battlefield fighting a war. The war is not going well.  The person fights harder and harder.  Losing is a devasting option, but unless the war is won the person fighting it thinks that living a worthwhile life will be impossible. So the war goes on. 
Unknown to this person however is that at any time they can quit the battlefield and begin to live life now.  The war may still go on and the battlefield may still be visible. The terrain may look very much as it did while the fighting was happening but the outcome of the war is no longer very important and the seemingly logical sequence, of having to win the war before beginning to really live has been abandoned. – Extract Taken from: Get out of your mind and into your life by Steven C. Hayes. 

Here we see that the way to move forward is to stop fighting, accept the obsession and carry on with our lives aligning to our values.  Eventually the brain sees the link to the framework as unimportant and stops bringing your attention to it so readily, however every now and then it will throw it back up to check if its important and it’s your job at this point to say:

‘thank you brain that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now’

and then carry on with your day aligning to your values – for more information on values work check out my post here.


If you’re enjoying learning more about ACT therapy then I would highly recommend looking up Steven C. Hayes, which is who a lot of these ideas have come from. 

A small thank you at the end of this one for your ongoing support, this is my 100th blog post and definitely something which should be celebrated.

As always, Stay Strong xxx

ACT Metaphors for OCD Recovery

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I’ve written a lot recently about how when we have OCD, if we give into our compulsions we are likely to be plunged into our sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous system.   

This is an issue as when in this state we are unable to think rationally and our intrusive thoughts can feel all overwhelming. 

There are some great ACT metaphors which we can use to illustrate this concept, below are 3 of my favourites, let me know which one’s yours:

1. The fog

When an OCD thought comes in imagine it like fog being blown towards you.  You have the choice, at this stage, to not participate, let the thought be and wait for the fog to dissipate or you can give into the compulsion.  Every time you give into the compulsion, whatever it may be, imagine a new layer of fog being blown towards you, further damping your ability to see clearly.

2.Ripples on a pond

Here the OCD obsession is like a stone being thrown into a pond.  If we do nothing and let it be the ripples will soon disperse and we will be able to see clearly again. If however we give into the compulsion it’s the equivalent of throwing a new stone in every time.

3.The bus stop

Here we see that before we are triggered we are standing at the bus stop watching the traffic go by.  If we then get triggered and give into the compulsion it is the equivalent of walking out into the road and being surrounded by the traffic, therefore not being able to see clearly.

There are plenty more of these metaphors out there, if you’ve found these ones helpful why not have a look around for some others or if you know of another helpful one then add it in the comments below, I’d love to hear it. 

I do think the metaphors can make it all seem very easy to just draw yourself back out of fight or flight. I don’t for a second want to belittle how hard this is to do when you’re in it, believe me I know, but it can help to show what the effect of giving into an OCD compulsion can be and hopefully it gives you another tool and incentive to not give into those compulsions when they come along, they really do only lead to misery. 

I really hope it helps, as always remember you are not alone.
Stay Strong xxx 

OCD: Your thoughts are NOT special! 

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A small idea with a big impact which I’d like to share with you today is a statement I heard on a podcast:

‘You’re not special’

It sounds kind of simple and maybe a bit mean but as humans we generally like to think of ourselves as being unique and different from everyone else. 

The reality of thinking in this way however is that it can make us feel that our problems/issues/intrusive thoughts are unique too.

This is an issue, if we think our problems are unique then we can believe them to be unsolvable.

When we have OCD we think, ‘no one else will have had these thoughts before’, this can lead to us becoming isolated and withdrawn.

The reality however is that we’re not that special and the more likely scenario is that multiple people will have experienced the same thoughts you have. 

Our brains like to keep us isolated and trapped believing it keeps us safe, but I’m here to tell you:

THIS IS RUBBISH!!

A side note here to say when it comes to OCD I would go to a OCD therapist, rather than a friend, as they will have the training to help you understand what is going on and see the thoughts for what they are – faulty signals being sent from your overactive amygdala. 

A short one today but such a powerful idea, which always helps me when I think of it. 

I really hope it helps,
Remember you are not alone and you’re not that special either! 
Stay Strong xxx

Conquering OCD: Recognizing Fight or Flight Responses

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In my last post I talked about the threat bucket metaphor and how it relates to our resilience levels – if you haven’t read that one you might want to go and check it out first – link to pervious post.

In this post we’re going to look closer at why it’s particularly bad for your bucket to overflow when you have OCD and why your self-care is of the upmost importance. 

Why it’s so bad for OCD when your bucket overflows?

When we have OCD we want to do everything we can to keep our resilience as high as possible, why? 
Well, when in fight-or-flight, our brain shifts into ‘survival mode’ this, like OCD, changes how you think, not just how you feel.

Our goals switch to speed and safety over accuracy, nuance and long-term reasoning – not what we want when dealing with OCD intrusive thoughts. 

Here’s a summary of what’s happening in the brain when our resilience drops (bucket overflows).

1. Our brain’s “thinking centre” goes offline – The prefrontal cortex (responsible for reasoning, planning, empathy, and impulse control) becomes less active.

This means:

  • We have a reduced ability to think logically
  • Difficulty seeing multiple perspectives
  • Poor working memory (“I can’t think straight”)
  • And more impulsive reactions

You’re not choosing this—blood flow and neural activity are redirected away from this area.

2. Our threat-detection system takes over – our amygdala and related limbic structures start to dominate.

This means our thinking becomes:

  • Threat-focused (“What’s wrong?”)
  • Binary (safe vs dangerous, right vs wrong, black vs white)
  • Fast and reactive
  • Emotion-driven

Our brains are asking one question only: “How do I survive this?”

3. Cognitive narrowing occurs, Fight-or-flight (an overflowing bucket) causes tunnel thinking.

You may experience:

  • Fixation on one detail or outcome
  • Loss of creativity and flexibility
  • Difficulty accessing learned skills – this is why prepping in advance for triggering situations is so important
  • Overgeneralization (“This always happens”)

This is efficient for survival—but limiting for problem-solving and not where you want to be when experiencing intrusive thoughts.

4. Biases increase – in survival mode, the brain relies on shortcuts, common thinking patterns include:

  • Catastrophizing
  • Mind reading (“They’re against me”)
  • Personalization
  • Black-and-white thinking

These are not “bad habits”—they’re stress (OCD)-induced neural shortcuts.

Understanding all this helps you realise that you can’t reason or ruminate your way out of fight-or-flight (OCD)—you regulate your nervous system first. Thinking comes back after ‘safety’ is restored.

BUT…
…how do we know if we’re in fight or flight in the first place?
and
…how do we get out of it and stay out of it when our amygdala keeps letting off faulty signals all the time?
I hear you ask.

Honestly it can feel impossible at times, I get it! 

First things first, the best way I’ve found to work out if I’m in fight or flight is from Martha Beck:

Ask yourself:
‘Am I suffering/struggling?’

If the answer is, ‘yes’ then you can almost guarantee you’re in fight or flight.   
There’ll be no logic involved, you won’t be thinking rationally – you need to stop.    

Our bodies are designed to move between rest and digest and fight or flight naturally and if you can recognise you’re dysregulated and sit with the uncomfortable feeling then great, do that.

I have however found some nice ways to speed up the process, so you can start to see things more rationally more quickly!   

Here are some of the best tools I’ve found to come out of fight or flight when in it:

  1. Creativity – this will mean different things for different people but creativity is amazing at switching on a different part of the brain, drawing your attention away from the catastrophizing part. Quite often if you can focus on creating something, whether it be a piece of art, a yoga sequence, something in the kitchen, garden, workshop, on the computer, anything that gets you thinking outside the box, you will start to draw your attention back to a more balance place.
    What’s your creative outlet?
  2. Curiosity – This can be curiosity about anything, quite often when we become curious and interested in something it grounds us and pulls us away from that extreme black and white thinking. Try asking why? Maybe investigate how something works or why it’s the way it is.
    Have you ever wondered about anything?
  3. Humour – is fabulous for getting the brain to switch modes. It works because its unexpected, remember the brain is a prediction machine and it’s pretty good at it. When a joke comes along and it doesn’t end where the brain think it will, BAM! You’re out of default mode and the brain is switched on and listening.
    Do you like any particular comedians? Go and look up one of their new sets online.
  4. Awe – part of the joy of being human is our ability to find awe. It can really give you some perspective when you look at the stars, birds, clouds, landscape etc. Going out into the world and finding things that make you think, wow! Is very important to our wellbeing and it helps us reset.
    What brings you that feeling of awe?
  5. A Challenge – this can be tricky when you’re in fight or flight but something which I found fun – from Martha Becks book – was to try and write your signature backwards. It takes a huge amount of focus and is very grounding. Go on, give it a try!
  6. Foundations Work – movement, nutrition, sleep, relaxation & social connection.  This takes an element of doing what you know is good for you, even when you don’t feel like it. We have to take action first, do the things we know make us feel better in the long run, your body and brain will thank you.

I really hope some of these methods are useful for you, give them a go and see what works.  It can be very individual which is tricky but once you’ve found the thing that works it can be seriously life changing.  Once back in rest and digest quite often we can let the thought go and see it as completely irrational, but if not, at this stage we can work through Byron Katies, questions.

Ask yourself:
Is it true?
Is it 100% true?  If the answer is no – which it always is in the case of OCD as it is based in doubt and uncertainty – then:

YOU HAVE TO LET IT GO!!!!!!

As I said in one of my previous posts, why would you torture yourself over anything less than 100% certainty?

I really hope this post has helped you to understand the role the nervous system plays in OCD and why it’s so important to recognise when you’re in fight or flight and find useful ways to bring yourself back. Only when out of fight or flight can we rationalise, think clearly and see OCD thoughts for what they are, just thoughts.

And if you ever wanted a reason not to complete a compulsion in the first place then remember, every time you give into one of those unwanted, intrusive, and distressing thoughts, images, urges, or feelings you’re filling up your bucket a little bit more and getting closer and closer to fight or flight, where it all starts to fall apart! 

Leave that thought be and carry on with your life aligning to your values. 

I really hope this post helps, education and knowledge are so vital for OCD recovery,
As Always, you are not alone,

Stay Strong xxx  

Understanding Thought-Action Fusion in OCD

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Thought-action-fusion is a common cognitive distortion associated with OCD.  It’s where a person believes that having a thought is equivalent to performing an action, or that thinking something makes it more likely to happen.

It is a very important distortion to be aware of if you’re suffering from OCD as when you’re in fight or flight mode – talked about in my previous post – anything can feel possible.     

Remember when we are suffering from OCD we are highly likely to be in the fight or flight (sympathetic) part of our nervous system. When in fight or flight our ability to think rationally goes out of the window and so things that we know to be impossible, when in our rational minds, can feel possible! 

When struggling and ruminating on an OCD obsession the brain and body are suffering with high stress (fight or flight), when in this state our memory becomes selective and fragmented.  Our attention narrows (tunnel vision) and our hippocampus (memory organiser) works less efficiently.

The result of this is that we can get gaps in our memory, Out-of-order recall and confusion about timelines. In addition to this the brain searches for danger-related memories, and the Safe or neutral memories are harder to access. 

It’s important to note that a Strong memory ≠ accurate memory.  Stress increases confidence in memory and emotional intensity but decreases, detail accuracy, context and perspective! 

All this results in intrusive memories feeling more real because they’re emotionally tagged

  • “What if” thoughts feel urgent due to amygdala activation
  • Memory distrust develops (“What if I forgot something important?”)

This fuels checking, reassurance, and rumination.

For me this was one of the most enlightening distortions to learn about.  Following my nervous breakdown, I was constantly in my sympathetic nervous system and so I had a few events when an intrusive thought occurred, and I couldn’t remember clearly/rationalise it/work it out, this caused me unbelievable distress. 

Thought-action-fusion can make you feel like a thought is real and because of your mental state your inability to rationalise that distortion feeds the uncertainty.  We need to recognise this pattern when it happens for what it is and reduce the impact by:

  • Not trying to ‘figure it out’ while anxious – this includes during the night, no analysis between 11pm and 5am remember! 
  • Remembering that you’re in fight-or-flight, you’ll be thinking in extremes and this is not evidence.
  • Find ways to reset and come back into the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest). 

I really love Byron Katies method for this where we say:
Is it true?
Is it 100% true? 

If the answer to the second question is no – which it will be because the stress is based on doubt and uncertainty, then ‘you have to let it go’.   

Why would you torture yourself over anything less than 100% certainty? 

Fear lives in the vague after all and it’s my guess, it’s just a thought (obsession), attached to a feeling of uncertainty, that you’re basing your rumination on, not facts. 

Your brain is probably desperately trying to work out whether there is something genuine to be concerned about, you should take this as your sign that there isn’t!   

I really hope this helps, OCD recovery isn’t easy and sometimes thought-action-fusion can get worse when we are in recovery and start to let our guard down, but know and trust who you are and as always,

Stay Strong xxx

Expect and Accept: Overcoming OCD Thoughts

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‘Expect and accept’, is a new mantra I’ve been trying out recently. 

I’ve found It can be helpful when managing OCD thoughts day-to-day to have a mantra to act as a ‘switch’ for the brain, helping you to label the thoughts as OCD and move on. 

Obviously in an ideal world you wouldn’t need it but it can be so easy at times to get dragged into OCD thoughts and before you know it, you’re freefalling down a rumination rabbit hole and all sense of reality has gone.

Don’t be fooled by the cute bunny, he may appear to be your friend but believe me he isn’t!

At times like this it can be so helpful to have a little reminder, like a therapist in your ear, saying to you:

So let’s be clear here, by saying ‘expect it’, I’m not saying, lets invite those thoughts along or will them to be there.  It’s more about having an awareness that if you’re going into a triggering situation, a new environment or out of your comfort zone, then it’s highly likely that your OCD will want to come along for the ride. 

I’ve found at times that I can get frustrated with my OCD when it turns up and what I’ve learnt over the years is if you don’t want it to be there, then it’s almost guaranteed to be.

When it does, if it does, we need to accept it.  We can do this by saying, ‘Thank you, brain that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now’.

After all OCD recovery is not about getting rid of the intrusive thoughts, this is a common mistake, remember everyone gets them. So it’s more about allowing them to be there and then carrying on with your day regardless, aligning with your values. 

I realise how hard this is, but know that you are not alone and that every time you carry on with your day, despite the thoughts, you are making progress and the brain is learning it doesn’t need to freak out at every thought that comes into your mind.  

Why not give the mantra a go this week and see if it helps you too. Let me know how you get on in the comments below.

Remember: ‘Expect it and Accept it’

As always,
Stay Strong xxx

The Role of Values in Overcoming OCD

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I’ve mentioned values in several posts to date, and I feel it’s time to take a closer at them and why they are so important in OCD recovery. 

What’s a value anyway? 

Lets start at the beginning, a value is: ‘a principle or standard of behaviour; one’s judgement of what is important in life’.

They are the standards we set for ourselves to live by, they outline the things that are most important to us and help guide us with our daily choices. 

If you’ve done any ACT (acceptance commitment thearpy), then you will know that values work is one of the 6 core principles

They describe values as something you, ‘do’ rather than ‘have’. They are verbs not nouns, general directions and guiders for life, a place you can never arrive at but are always striving towards.  

From this description they can feel quite nebulous, but they are the invisible building blocks of our lives. 

How do you work out your values?

There are lots of great exercises online that you can work through.  Here are a couple of links to try but a quick google will find you lots of information on the topic.

Values worksheet 1

Values worksheet 2

If you’ve never done this work before then I advise spending a bit of time working through one of the above activities. 

So why are values so important in OCD recovery? 

They become especially useful when you are struggling because you can align to your values and know that that’s the person you want to be. 

You can then take actions towards your values, regardless of the thoughts and how you feel, which is exactly what we need to do when OCD gets loud.

OCD has a nasty habit of making you think you’re the worst person in the world, capable of distressing and horrible things and when you’re spiralling it can be incredibly hard to pull yourself out.

Your values then become a superpower, acting as your anchor during these difficult times.  They remind you of who you truly want to be and allow you to proactively take action to align with them. 

Say for example that your values are to be an honest, trustworthy, reliable, kind and loving person, then when OCD is telling you otherwise you have the opportunity to say;

‘No OCD, I’m not who you’re telling me I am, I know my values and I’m going to carry on with my day aligning to them’. 

The brain believes what it sees, so if you live your life aligning to your values then you will be banking undisputable evidence of who you are. The OCD thoughts then become much easier to dismiss and don’t take hold as easily. 

In addition to this it’s worth remembering here that OCD thoughts are ego-dystonic, which refers to the fact that the obsessions and compulsions are inconsistent with a person’s values, beliefs, and self-image, understandably causing a lot of distress.  

When going through OCD therapy and recovery it can feel so tough at times and your values can act as your guiding light through the darkness. 

Every time it feels overwhelming and tough, you need to remind yourself of your values and ask yourself;

‘If I’m aligning with my values and the person I want to be then what would I do in this situation?’  

  • Would I drive back and check if that bump in the road was a person or would I carry on with my day?
  • Would I wash my hands again because they still feel dirty or would I just carry on with my day?
  • Would I spend hours ruminating over the nightmare I had last night and not make it into work, or would I just carry on with my day?

There are endless scenarios you could use here but ultimately you have to ask yourself, is your OCD holding you back from the values-based life you want to live? 

I’m guessing the answer is yes.   

The amazing thing about doing values work, is that once they’re in place they allow your life to become more focused and meaningful in all ways.  You become empowered to let anything that doesn’t align with them go, which quite often results in a lot less drama, mental health struggles and a lot more peace.

I’d love to know if you have also found ACT therapy and Values work helpful in your OCD recovery, please share your insights below.

As always,
Stay Strong xxx

Overcoming OCD: The Power of Choice

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I have recently had the pleasure of coming across the choice article written by Dr Steven Phillipson – a licensed clinical psychologist who specialises in Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy for OCD.  It’s such an extraordinary piece of work and a must read for anyone suffering from OCD.  It is quite lengthy but there is an audio version here.

The focus of the article is how we need to see OCD thoughts as irrelevant and that we DO have a choice when it comes to this decision.

I know only too well when you have OCD you can feel like you have no choice but to do the compulsion when the thoughts come in, the doubt & uncertainty that comes with not knowing 100% whether the thought is significant can feel too much to bear. 

However, we need to start to see this part of the brain as an independent system from our conscious thoughts, one that works automatically – like the systems which control automatic functioning in the body such as breathing and heartrate.  We do this by becoming aware of our automatic thoughts and autopilot, making the choice to carry on with our day, align with our values and see the thoughts as meaningless and irrelevant – because they are.  

Below is a quote from the article which I thought was helpful:    

‘what do our feelings say about our fundamental beliefs? I believe that the answer to this question is, “Not necessarily very much.” Our feelings are not a reliable measure of our self-perception. Why? Because automatic thoughts can create feelings that are just as convincing as thoughts that reflect our deeply held beliefs. So, it is vital that we do not reflexively take the thoughts and feelings that our brains send to us at face value.’

Here Dr Steven Phillipson is highlighting the fact that automatic thoughts can create feelings, these feelings can make things feel more real.  Therefore, we shouldn’t put too much emphasis on how we feel as feeling are NOT within our control. 

Why would we give up our autonomy (our right to make informed decisions about our lives) to something we have NO control over? (Remember, we cannot control our thoughts and feelings only our behaviours. )

Another great quote from the article:

‘Remember when you have OCD, you cannot use your feelings to determine if a threat is ”real”.  Doing so is a little like asking the Devil for directions to heaven’.

I always remember this quote when I’m starting to spiral as it happily reminds me that I cannot trust those feelings.

The article highlights how when one has OCD the amygdala – whose primary function is to process emotions, especially fear and anxiety – is sending us a faulty signal that there is something which needs our attention right away and cannot wait. Our job – through ERP therapy – is to become habituated (the process of making or becoming accustomed or used to something.) to this alert. 

This is no easy task and can feel very uncomfortable. Choosing to ignore your brains warning system and take the chance that it’s a false alert can truly feel like jumping out of an aeroplane not knowing whether your parachute is packed correctly. However this is the chance we have to take to show the brain that the signal was faulty, we literally do nothing about the thought and carry on with our day aligning with our values.

More on habituation coming in future posts but for now I’m going to leave you with this motivational mantra which I use all the time,

‘Every day is a new opportunity for me to show my brain that this continued prompt is meaning and irrelevant. ‘

I really hope it helps you too:
As always, stay strong xxx

OCD – The thoughts are Irrelevant

Posted in Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , 1 Comment
Lady with thoughts above her head.

Paradoxically the word irrelevant has become extremely relevant in my life recently.  

It is exactly what we have to see OCD obsessions (unwanted, intrusive, and distressing thoughts, images, or urges that repeatedly enter a person’s mind, causing anxiety or distress) as. 

It sounds so easy but when your brain is telling you there is danger right here, right now and it’s letting off all the warnings signals, it can feel like you’re going against every natural instinct you have, not to do the compulsion (repetitive physical or mental behaviour a person feels driven to perform to alleviate the anxiety, distress, or unease caused by an obsession) and find that momentary relief.    

This is why it feels so hard, the brain – for whatever reason – has let off it’s fight or flight response.  The job of this system is to make you remove yourself from danger/discomfort. To act in opposition to this response is to go against your natural instincts. 

OCD is a fault in this system, the brain is alerting you to danger where there is none and it can only learn this when you sit with the uncomfortable feeling and go about your day as if the thought is completely irrelevant. 

No matter how you feel, you must carry on with your day and allow the brain to learn that the signal is a false alarm.  In contrast by giving into the compulsion you never give your brain a chance to see that there was nothing to worry about in the first place. 

The focus should be on living a valued based life and not trusting your feelings to guide you. Feelings are out of our control and so allowing them to dictate your actions is foolish. 

Decide on your values and live each day in accordance with them regardless of how you feel.  This way the brain learns it doesn’t need to complete a compulsion for every random obsession that pops into your head. 

This is also how the brain starts to heal and your scared amygdala (the part of the brain responsible for triggering your fight or flight response) which keeps letting off these false alerts, learns that it doesn’t need to be so scared anymore.  This does take time and I’m still in this process myself but having the knowledge that the current signals are faulty, and your brain is just a bit scared is so empowering. 

It can be very frustrating at times when you have OCD and easy to beat yourself up about it but Martha Beck tells us to imagine our amygdala as a scared animal. Would you say cruel things to a scared puppy, or would you show it kindness and love?  We all need to be a bit kinder to ourselves and realise that OCD is just our brain being scared incorrectly. 

See each day as an opportunity to get stronger and show the brain that these faulty signals are meaningless and irrelevant!

I know this work is hard, but you are not alone, you are not a bad person, and you are braver than you know. 

As always,
Stay Strong xxx

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2 Simple Questions to Easily Dismiss OCD Thoughts

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Awareness Week, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD General, worryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

No matter how many years I’ve had OCD and how many tools I have in my toolbox, there does still seem to be times when a thought will, pop up and for whatever reason it gets a bit stuck. 

I find it particularly frustrating after all the work I’ve put into my recovery but somehow my brains default mode does seem to be to doubt & worry and so I must be proactive about using the tools I’ve learnt along the way to keep my mental health in check. 

One tool which I find endlessly helpful to dismiss OCD thoughts is one I learnt from Byron Katie. 

It’s worth noting here that in an ideal world we wouldn’t invest any time in the thoughts, we’d let them be but if they do stick – for whatever reason – then take 5 minutes and give this tool a whirl.

Byron Katie calls it ‘The Work’ and it takes the form of a set of questions:

As yourself

  1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who or what would you be without the thought?

The tool seems too simple right, but it is unbelievably good.

I love Byron Katies version, but I have found that I don’t need the whole version to be able to dismiss my OCD thoughts. All I generally need to do is ask myself,

Is it true? 

Quite often when I ask myself this question it isn’t obvious what my brain is obsessing over at all!  OCD can be so vague – after all fear lives in the vague – and when I dig down a little deeper the true fear is often nonsense.  Sometimes this is enough on its own for me to dismiss the thought! 

If not, I ask myself

Is it 100% true?

With OCD the answer is always NO, because OCD is about doubt and uncertainty and so I can guarantee you won’t know 100%. 

Next, I tell myself

If it’s not 100% true, then,

‘YOU HAVE TO LET IT GO!’

Why would you torture yourself over something which isn’t 100% fact?  The brain is looking for certainty which you cannot give it, so let it go.

And this is enough for me to sit with the thought and let it be. 

Just two simple questions:

  1. Is it true
  2. Is it 100% true?

I cannot tell you how many times this method has helped me.  I really hope it’s useful for you too. Let me know in the comments below

As always
Stay Strong xxx