Tag: mental-illness

ACT Metaphors for OCD Recovery

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I’ve written a lot recently about how when we have OCD, if we give into our compulsions we are likely to be plunged into our sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous system.   

This is an issue as when in this state we are unable to think rationally and our intrusive thoughts can feel all overwhelming. 

There are some great ACT metaphors which we can use to illustrate this concept, below are 3 of my favourites, let me know which one’s yours:

1. The fog

When an OCD thought comes in imagine it like fog being blown towards you.  You have the choice, at this stage, to not participate, let the thought be and wait for the fog to dissipate or you can give into the compulsion.  Every time you give into the compulsion, whatever it may be, imagine a new layer of fog being blown towards you, further damping your ability to see clearly.

2.Ripples on a pond

Here the OCD obsession is like a stone being thrown into a pond.  If we do nothing and let it be the ripples will soon disperse and we will be able to see clearly again. If however we give into the compulsion it’s the equivalent of throwing a new stone in every time.

3.The bus stop

Here we see that before we are triggered we are standing at the bus stop watching the traffic go by.  If we then get triggered and give into the compulsion it is the equivalent of walking out into the road and being surrounded by the traffic, therefore not being able to see clearly.

There are plenty more of these metaphors out there, if you’ve found these ones helpful why not have a look around for some others or if you know of another helpful one then add it in the comments below, I’d love to hear it. 

I do think the metaphors can make it all seem very easy to just draw yourself back out of fight or flight. I don’t for a second want to belittle how hard this is to do when you’re in it, believe me I know, but it can help to show what the effect of giving into an OCD compulsion can be and hopefully it gives you another tool and incentive to not give into those compulsions when they come along, they really do only lead to misery. 

I really hope it helps, as always remember you are not alone.
Stay Strong xxx 

Conquering OCD: 10 things EVERYONE should know about thoughts!

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Here are some useful things to know about thoughts that EVERYONE should be taught at school – it would honestly save us so much time and energy.

1.Thoughts are mostly random – don’t believe me? Then grab a piece of paper, a pen & a timer. Set your timer for 3 minutes, place your pen at one side of the paper, close your eyes and start drawing a line. Every time your train of thought changes, change direction on the page. After 3 minutes see what you’ve got, my bet is it’s not a straight line.

2. Everyone gets intrusive thoughts – it’s a normal human condition. I wrote a post on this a few years back, you can read it here.  

3. We get over 60,000 thoughts a day – do you really think you’re controlling them?

4. It’s not the thought that’s the issue – the thoughts come in randomly most of the time and if we can just let it be, it’ll float on out again too. The brain will realise we’re not interested in it and move on. It’s the attention & meaning we give to the thoughts when they come in that causes the problem! 

5. You can’t outthink your thoughts – there will always be another, ‘what if?’ or ‘Maybe?’.  Logic is limited but imagination is not.  Think of logic like the size of the earth and your imagination as the universe, you cannot logic yourself out of an OCD intrusive thought – trust me I’ve tried! 

6. Your brain has a filter – its called the reticular activating system (RAS), it draws your attention to what it thinks is important to you and filters out everything else!!!  It works this out by seeing what you focus your attention on – see how this can be an issue in OCD? No blog post on this one yet but I have do have an Instagram video on it which you can view here.

7. The OCD themes are irrelevant – the subject of your thoughts doesn’t matter! It’s your inability to sit with doubt and uncertainty that’s the problem.  If you’ve had OCD for a while it may have changed themes once or twice over the years.  This is called ‘whack a mole’ and it highlights that it’s not actually the thought but the associated feeling of doubt that you struggle with.  

8. Most of our thoughts are about the past or the future – we are rarely in the present moment – where anxiety doesn’t exist.  This isn’t our fault; our brains top priority is to keep us safe and one of the ways it does this is to analyse the past to try and predict the future.  It also likes to run through different potential future scenarios to see how they might turn out for us – a very useful tool if used wisely and can even be fun when imagining happy outcomes but with our unlimited imaginations & OCD this can quickly turn into an activity which can cause us immense distress. 

9. At night the prefrontal cortex takes a rest, and the more primal ‘chimp’ brain takes over – don’t take anything your brain tells you between 11pm and 5am seriously.  How often have you been awake in the middle of the night worrying about something and then in the morning you wonder what all the fuss was about? Everything feels harder at night and this is why! I’ve also done an Instagram video on this one here.

10. We think mostly about ourselves – we’re actually quite egocentric- this however tends to cause us distress, especially if the thoughts are of a intrusive nature, remember: ‘Overthinking only leads to unhappiness’. Try thinking about yourself less and others more, you’ll be happier! 

In summary

  • Our thoughts are mostly random
  • Everyone gets intrusive thoughts – it’s a normal human condition. 
  • We get over 60,000 thoughts a day – do you really think you’re controlling them?
  • It’s not the thought that’s the issue – it’s the attention & meaning we give it! 
  • You can’t outthink your thoughts – there will always be another, ‘what if?’ or ‘Maybe?’.  Logic is limited but imagination is not.    
  • Your brain has a filter (RAS), it draws your attention to what it thinks is important to you and filters out everything else!!!
  • OCD themes are irrelevant – the subject doesn’t matter; it’s your inability to sit with uncertainty that’s the problem.
  • Most of our thoughts are about the past or the future, we are rarely in the present moment – where anxiety doesn’t exist. 
  • At night the prefrontal cortex takes a rest, and the more primal ‘chimp’ brain takes over – don’t take anything your brain tells you between 11pm and 5am seriously.
  • Most of our thoughts are about ourselves, this causes us stress, try thinking of others more.

    I’ve learnt a lot of the above from my extensive reading and research into psychology and well-being literature, I share a lot of these ideas with my students in my anxiety workshops. It’s nice to see them all summarised here in a helpful way.
    I really hope they help you as much as they have me.

    As always, you are not alone,
    Stay Strong xxx

Resilience in OCD: Why the holidays can be hard

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OCD recovery can be tough; in fact it’s very rarely a straight line.  Some days we feel like we can conquer the world and ‘why was I even worried about that thought’ and the next day, that same thought, can be all consuming! 

Does this sound familiar? 

I believe it has a lot to do with our nervous system, which is like the software of our body.  Everyday it’s impacted by our day-today routine, which in turn has an effect on our resilience levels, which directly impacts how well we can manage OCD thoughts when they pop in.   

Our brain sits at the top of our nervous system and its number one job is to keep us alive.  It really doesn’t care if you’re living your best life or not, it just wants you alive.

As a result, the brain likes predictable routines, to know what’s coming next and anything out of this remit can upset our resilience levels. 

A prime example of being out of routine is holiday season.  Not only does a lot of the day-to-day structure disappear but most likely we’re moving less, eating worse, drinking more, potentially sleep is also disrupted, not to mention you may also be staying away from home.  All this is dysregulating for the nervous system, as a result we can get more easily stuck in our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight). 

Why does this matter? 

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) has two main branches: –

Sympathetic – fight or flight
and
Parasympathetic – rest and digest.

Our resilience levels depend on how easily we can move between these two states.

When our resilience levels are low our nervous system can get “stuck” in fight/flight.  When they’re high, our nervous system can activate fight/flight when needed (getting up in the morning/running for a bus) but then returns to rest and digest efficiently afterwards. 

This flexibility is called autonomic regulation.  Can you take a guess what our resilience levels are like when our routine disappears? And in turn how well we are able to manage OCD thoughts when they occur?

A great analogy for this is: The threat bucket

The water level is your resilience level at the start of the day – and it will depend on how safe your brain feels. 

The arrows going in are your daily additional stresses – some days these will be less and the bucket wont overflow, other days they’ll be coming in so quickly you can’t keep up, if your bucket overflows you’re moving into fight or flight.

Note: if you have OCD it’s likely that your base line water level will already be higher to start with and if you’re ruminating throughout the day it’s a bit like having a hose filling that bucket up with a steady drip, drip, drip. 

Taking this metaphor a bit further we can release some of this built-up stress with the tap at the bottom of the bucket.  This is where all the self-care and routine comes in, those little daily habits which lead up to big results, or in this case resilience. 

Routine can be incredibly important in OCD recovery as it improves our resilience levels allowing us to deal with obsessions (intrusive thoughts) more easily – remember those days when you’re able to dismiss that same thought that kept you caught a pervious day?  Those are the days your resilience is high and you’re not suck in fight or flight.    

Routine including: good nutrition, sleep, movement, social connection and relaxation are unbelievably important for recovery maintenance.  This is why I’m a PT, I’ve had to force myself to live the lifestyle I know does me good.  The brain and body automatically seek comfort but this is not what keeps us healthy, especially when we’re dealing with mental health issues. 

If you know you find the holidays hard then it can be so helpful to prepare some support in advance, where you can try and keep some elements of your routine in place.  Maybe drink a little less, take a walk after dinner, make sure you have a good meal, including protein, before you start on the sugary treats, have someone you can talk to if it gets tough, write down the things you know help and refer back to them if OCD hits. 

I did just this and it really helped me out over the last few days, remember when you’re in fight or flight it’s very hard to think rationally so you want everything in place and ready beforehand.  If you’re not sure where to start then comment ‘FOUNDATIONS’ in the comments below and I’ll send you a link to one of my foundations trackers to get you get started.   

I’m going to follow this post up with a more detailed look at what happens when that bucket overflows, so don’t forget to subscribe.

Remember, you are not alone,
Stay Strong xxx

Why OCD Compulsions Make it Worse!

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If you’ve landed here, you probably already know a bit about OCD but in case you don’t here are the Cliff notes.

OCD stands for: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. 

Obsessions are: unwanted, intrusive, and distressing thoughts, images, urges, or feelings that repeatedly enter a person’s mind and cause significant anxiety. 

The resulting compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that a person feels driven to perform in response to the obsession. 

Todays blog is all about why the compulsion part of OCD is not helpful for us. 

When you have OCD completing a compulsion, whatever it may be, is done out of a need to neutralise the obsession in some way. 

Examples of compulsions include; driving back round to check that a bump in the road wasn’t a person.  Washing your hands more than once to make sure they’re clean.  Going back to check if the oven is off, or that the doors are all locked and secure. 

There are in fact endless examples, and we’re all slightly different which can make OCD a very tricky beast to catch. 

It can be hard at times not to complete a compulsion, especially if we feel responsible for others safety but I’ve found that by invalidating the supposed ‘safety guarantee’ of the compulsion, the need to do it disappears as well. We start to see it as pointless – because it is, read on to see why.

How do I know if it’s an OCD compulsion?

The real clue to whether it’s an OCD compulsion or not, is that when it’s OCD it’s normally accompanied by distress.  Afterall if we don’t mind the compulsive action, then is it an issue?

People with OCD are normally fighting an inner battle where they are trying to work out the doubt and uncertainty they are feeling – impossible by the way – and compulsions such as checking or ruminating can feel like a productive way to do this.  Well, I’m here today to confirm to you that IT IS NOT. 

We feel like the compulsions are’ ‘helping us’ and ‘keeping us safe’ but they’re doing the complete opposite, yep you heard it right, they are making everything worse!

Now I’m not a qualified therapist but I know from years of experience that as soon as you give into one of those compulsions, you are validating the faulty signal coming from the amygdala and telling the brain that there is something to worry about.  You’re basically saying,

‘hey brain, this is important, you need to be on high alert and focus all your attention on this obsession’.    

By doing this you are putting yourself into your Sympathetic Nervous System, more commonly known as fight or flight.  Once in this state you will not be thinking rationally. The logical brain switches off and passes everything over to the more primal survival part of the brain. This part of the brain is all about keeping you safe and you’ve just told it, by giving into the compulsion, that there’s something it needs to worry about. 

Basically you’ve just started to fall down the rabbit hole.  I told you last time, he might look fluffy but he’s a whole lot of trouble!

When in fight or flight you cannot think rationally and so you are in a state where the brain can convince you black is white, up is down and left is right – things you know to be impossible!  You are not able to reason or be sensible in any way in this state and giving into an OCD compulsion puts you in this state.

How do you know when you’ve reached this state?  It can be hard when you’re in it to know but I like Martha Becks phrase:

‘If you’re struggling, you’re spiralling’

basically if it’s causing you distress then you can be pretty sure you’re in fight or flight. 

At this point you need to step away and reset.  Say ‘thank you brain, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now’ and carry on with your day aligning with your values.

More tips on how to do this coming next week, so don’t forget to subscribe below!  

In summary, compulsions are pointless because:   

  • As soon as we complete a compulsion, we validate the faulty signal aka the obsession. 
  • This then takes us into fight or flight – as we we’ve just told the brain there’s something to be worried about
  • Once this happens, we can’t think rationally
  • This cycle is self perpetuating.

I have illustrated it below to make it clear.

Hopefully you can now see why completing compulsions is COMPLETELY POINTLESS!!!!

I really hope this helps, let me know in the comments below.
As always, Stay Strong xxx

Why Habituation is key to OCD Recovery

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Last week I posted about choice and why it’s so important in OCD recovery.  Towards the end of that post, I mentioned habituation and I felt the topic so significant for me in my recovery that it deserved it’s own post, so here we are.

What is habituation?

According to google it is:

‘the process of making or becoming accustomed or used to something.’

In Psychology specifically it’s:

‘the diminishing of an innate response to a frequently repeated stimulus.’

When applying this to OCD specifically:

We can see ‘the innate response’ as the compulsion and ‘the repeated stimulus’ as the obsession. 

Applying habituation to OCD recovery

We learn in therapy that everyone gets intrusive thoughts and so the aim in OCD recovery is not to get rid of the thoughts (obsessions) but to see them as completely irrelevant. 

We do this by recognising the trigger (obsession) when it comes in and habituating (getting used) to it, so that we no longer feel the need to complete the compulsion – whether it be mental or physical. 

This was a big turning point for me, realising that the obsession is something you can ‘get used to’.  The result of this is that the brain eventually no longer brings your attention to it – as it starts to see it as insignificant. 

For a long time I saw OCD recovery as not having the obsessions but now I see that it’s my reaction to the obsession that is the key.  I have no control over whether the thought/image/whatever appears or not only my reaction to it.

The Reticular Activating system and habituation

You only have so much mental capacity each day and the brain has an unbelievably effective filtering system called the reticular activating system or RAS for short. 

According to Jim Kwik’s book Limitless,

‘every second your senses gather up to 11 million bits of information from the world around you…
…the conscious mind typically processes only 50 bits per second. ’

‘(The RAS) also acts as the gatekeeper of information through a process called habituation, which allows the brain to ignore meaningless and repetitive stimuli’  

So the brain takes in an unbelievable amount of information every second and then decides what it’s going to bring to your attention and what it’s going to discard, mostly down to what you’re telling it you feel is important!

When you are struggling with OCD and you see the obsessions as important the brain will prioritise these thoughts above all others. Once you start to habituate yourself to the OCD triggers the brain will no longer use its finite resources on information you’re telling it is irrelevant.  It will file it as a ‘meaningless and repetitive stimuli’ and no longer bring it to your attention.

Yes, this is habituation and it’s where OCD recovery happens!   

A note here to highlight that we shouldn’t expect our obsessions never to show up again.  Every now and then the brain will throw one to the forefront of your mind and say,  ‘Remember this?  You were really obsessed with this at one point, is it still important?’ and your only job is to do absolutely nothing.  This is how we break free from OCD. 

In summary, we need to habituate to our obsessions, show the brain that they’re insignificant and carry on with our day aligning with our values. This is how we live our lives in recovery. 

Not sure on your values? Then be sure to subscribe below as that’s what next weeks post is going to be all about.

As always,
Stay Strong xxx 

Overcoming OCD: The Power of Choice

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I have recently had the pleasure of coming across the choice article written by Dr Steven Phillipson – a licensed clinical psychologist who specialises in Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy for OCD.  It’s such an extraordinary piece of work and a must read for anyone suffering from OCD.  It is quite lengthy but there is an audio version here.

The focus of the article is how we need to see OCD thoughts as irrelevant and that we DO have a choice when it comes to this decision.

I know only too well when you have OCD you can feel like you have no choice but to do the compulsion when the thoughts come in, the doubt & uncertainty that comes with not knowing 100% whether the thought is significant can feel too much to bear. 

However, we need to start to see this part of the brain as an independent system from our conscious thoughts, one that works automatically – like the systems which control automatic functioning in the body such as breathing and heartrate.  We do this by becoming aware of our automatic thoughts and autopilot, making the choice to carry on with our day, align with our values and see the thoughts as meaningless and irrelevant – because they are.  

Below is a quote from the article which I thought was helpful:    

‘what do our feelings say about our fundamental beliefs? I believe that the answer to this question is, “Not necessarily very much.” Our feelings are not a reliable measure of our self-perception. Why? Because automatic thoughts can create feelings that are just as convincing as thoughts that reflect our deeply held beliefs. So, it is vital that we do not reflexively take the thoughts and feelings that our brains send to us at face value.’

Here Dr Steven Phillipson is highlighting the fact that automatic thoughts can create feelings, these feelings can make things feel more real.  Therefore, we shouldn’t put too much emphasis on how we feel as feeling are NOT within our control. 

Why would we give up our autonomy (our right to make informed decisions about our lives) to something we have NO control over? (Remember, we cannot control our thoughts and feelings only our behaviours. )

Another great quote from the article:

‘Remember when you have OCD, you cannot use your feelings to determine if a threat is ”real”.  Doing so is a little like asking the Devil for directions to heaven’.

I always remember this quote when I’m starting to spiral as it happily reminds me that I cannot trust those feelings.

The article highlights how when one has OCD the amygdala – whose primary function is to process emotions, especially fear and anxiety – is sending us a faulty signal that there is something which needs our attention right away and cannot wait. Our job – through ERP therapy – is to become habituated (the process of making or becoming accustomed or used to something.) to this alert. 

This is no easy task and can feel very uncomfortable. Choosing to ignore your brains warning system and take the chance that it’s a false alert can truly feel like jumping out of an aeroplane not knowing whether your parachute is packed correctly. However this is the chance we have to take to show the brain that the signal was faulty, we literally do nothing about the thought and carry on with our day aligning with our values.

More on habituation coming in future posts but for now I’m going to leave you with this motivational mantra which I use all the time,

‘Every day is a new opportunity for me to show my brain that this continued prompt is meaning and irrelevant. ‘

I really hope it helps you too:
As always, stay strong xxx

Why it’s so important not to pay attention to OCD thoughts.

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OCD is the king of doubt and uncertainty, he’ll play on any worries or fears you have, and he’ll pick the things you care about most to do it with! 

He is not your friend in anyway and listening to him is like, ‘taking directions to heaven from the devil’ – thank you Dr Steven Phillipson for that wonderful analogy. 

You must therefore be tenacious, relentless and non-negotiable in your recovery because OCD is! 

You mustn’t even take a peep down that rabbit hole because before you know it, you’ll be tumbling down inside it.

Your job is to do nothing, just carry on with your day as if the thoughts are completely irrelevant because you know what, they are! 

Now I realise all this is easily said and much harder in reality but any other approach is going to end up with you putting your life on hold in some way.  Just take a moment to read that again and then realise that any other approach to OCD intrusive thoughts is going to end up with you, procrastinating, spiralling, getting caught up in your thoughts, impairing your judgements, distracting you from your life, taking you away from all the things you care about and keeping you STUCK! 

Yes, that’s the brutal reality of OCD, it’s stopping you living your life by stealing your mental capacity, which by the way, you only have a limited amount of each day. When your preoccupied with OCD thoughts you are not living your life to the full.    

It is such a mental and physical drag to carry OCD round with you, day in & day out and when you’ve had it for a long time you can start to get used to that weight!  Ouch, that was hard to write. It’s very insidious and it creeps into all parts of your life; it can even go back and destroy happy memories which is devastating.  

So how do we sit with these thoughts?  Well, a couple of the phrases I’ve found which have been useful are:

‘Thank you, OCD, that’s exactly what I want to hear right now’

And

‘Thank you, but I’m not answering that question right now.’

Both phrases allow you to accept the thought without pushing it away.  I’ve used them both successfully and they do work. They do require you to sit with the uncertainty, which can be very uncomfortable at times. If you find it’s too much, then go and have a look at last week’s post ‘2 simple questions to easily dismiss OCD thoughts’, to help you with the letting go process.

I really hope it helps
Stay Strong xxx

2 Simple Questions to Easily Dismiss OCD Thoughts

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Awareness Week, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD General, worryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

No matter how many years I’ve had OCD and how many tools I have in my toolbox, there does still seem to be times when a thought will, pop up and for whatever reason it gets a bit stuck. 

I find it particularly frustrating after all the work I’ve put into my recovery but somehow my brains default mode does seem to be to doubt & worry and so I must be proactive about using the tools I’ve learnt along the way to keep my mental health in check. 

One tool which I find endlessly helpful to dismiss OCD thoughts is one I learnt from Byron Katie. 

It’s worth noting here that in an ideal world we wouldn’t invest any time in the thoughts, we’d let them be but if they do stick – for whatever reason – then take 5 minutes and give this tool a whirl.

Byron Katie calls it ‘The Work’ and it takes the form of a set of questions:

As yourself

  1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who or what would you be without the thought?

The tool seems too simple right, but it is unbelievably good.

I love Byron Katies version, but I have found that I don’t need the whole version to be able to dismiss my OCD thoughts. All I generally need to do is ask myself,

Is it true? 

Quite often when I ask myself this question it isn’t obvious what my brain is obsessing over at all!  OCD can be so vague – after all fear lives in the vague – and when I dig down a little deeper the true fear is often nonsense.  Sometimes this is enough on its own for me to dismiss the thought! 

If not, I ask myself

Is it 100% true?

With OCD the answer is always NO, because OCD is about doubt and uncertainty and so I can guarantee you won’t know 100%. 

Next, I tell myself

If it’s not 100% true, then,

‘YOU HAVE TO LET IT GO!’

Why would you torture yourself over something which isn’t 100% fact?  The brain is looking for certainty which you cannot give it, so let it go.

And this is enough for me to sit with the thought and let it be. 

Just two simple questions:

  1. Is it true
  2. Is it 100% true?

I cannot tell you how many times this method has helped me.  I really hope it’s useful for you too. Let me know in the comments below

As always
Stay Strong xxx

5 Simple Words to Help Manage Intrusive Thoughts Effectively

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‘I’m not answering that question’, 5 simple words and yet it can feel so hard in the moment. 

When you’re spiralling – for whatever reason – you can feel quite desperate and like you must focus all your attention on answering OCD/anxieties questions, because ‘this time it might matter’, ‘I can’t take that risk’ or ‘I need to check, just in case’!

Does all this sound familiar? 

I get this a lot, in fact most days.  Sometimes something will happen or sometimes it can literally be an uncomfortable thought, feeling or emotion and that’s it my brain will hyper-focus on trying to work out the answer/solution as if it’s life or death! 

Sitting with the doubt can feel like too much, when it’s the people you love, your own mortality or something that strongly conflicts with your values.  You feel like the risk is too high and you must know the answer right now! 

Well let me tell you something, this is OCD and anxieties favourite game.  It wants to steal your focus, it wants your time and energy and nothing but your full attention is acceptable.  It likes to throw things at you until something sticks and then, aha, it’s got you, say goodbye to the rest of your day! 

So, how can we know if it’s OCD and anxiety or whether we genuinely need to pay attention to a thought, I hear you ask?

Ultimately the game is to learn to sit with the uncertainty but I’ve found a good guidepost is to ask yourself the following two questions:

  1. Am I suffering? 
  2. Do I feel desperate and like I need the answer right now?

If you’ve answered yes to either of these questions, then in my experience you can pretty much guarantee that you are in an anxiety/OCD spiral and that you wont be thinking logically/rationally. 

Your job is therefore to do NOTHING!

Step away from the thought and carry on with your day as if it’s completely irrelevant.  You can expect to feel anxious but that’s OK. 

Every time that thought comes back into your head just say the 5 words:

‘I’m not answering that question.’

and carry on with whatever you’re doing.

I do understand that in the moment when your brain is telling you that thought needs all your attention it can feel impossible, but you need to be brave and let it be. 

Another time this is particularly helpful is at night, when our rational brain is having a rest and we’re never thinking at our best. Things ALWAYS seem worse in the middle of the night so just tell your brain, I’m not answering that question’.

I really hope it helps you as much as it has me,
Let me know how you get on and as always,
Stay Strong xxx

OCD – How to know if you should pay attention & why we don’t trust ourselves.

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I wrote last week about trust being maybe the most important thing in OCD and Anxiety recovery.  I’ve been using this concept over the last week in my OCD work and there really does seem to be something in it. 

Ultimately OCD thrives on doubt, and that doubt is in yourself and your ability to cope with whatever situation life/your brain throws at you.  It’s our inability to trust that when placed in a situation, we’ll take the right action/make the right decision/act in accordance with our values/be able to cope with the whatever’s thrown our way.

So why don’t we trust ourselves?  Who or what has made us doubt our own mind & judgement?

We’re generally told not to go looking for reasons we have OCD in therapy and the current belief – or so I understand – is that it is potentially a mix of genetics & life experiences but as far as I know there are no certainties here.    

Ultimately, we don’t need to know why we have it to recover from it, but it is my belief that OCD is often triggered when we’re in periods of heightened emotional stress.   Potentially trauma but also new mums, big life changes, times when our parasympathetic nervous system – fight or flight – is more active for whatever reason. 

When in this mindset (fight or flight) we think less rationally (trust ourselves less), our emotional brain is more active and so the thoughts that come up could potentially be stickier/more triggering to us. 

I know when my OCD/anxiety has been triggered, for whatever reason, I am then more vulnerable to other OCD thoughts/triggers – a reason ERP can be so hard.  When I’m back in my sympathetic nervous system – rest and digest – often I can dismiss THE SAME THOUGHTS easily (I trust myself). 

Another example of this is at night when the rational side of the brain (prefrontal cortex) winds down for a rest and the emotional side of the brain takes control.  Ever thought something in the middle of the night and freaked yourself out, not been able to get back to sleep and then in the morning thought, what the…….???? Yep, that’s what OCD feels like.  The logical part of the brain seems to switch off and you’re in fight or flight, thinking in black and white, able to convince yourself that up is down and potentially you could secretly be a psychopath/murderer/paedophile/whatever your current theme may be. 

This emotional part of the brain is powerful – imagine it like an elephant and the logical thinking part like the rider.  The rider cannot control the elephant; it must work with it otherwise it will take control.

We regain our trust and switch the logical brain back on by sitting with the thoughts and doing, well, nothing.  This, when you’re in fight or flight is terrifying, almost impossible at times.  Your brain is desperate to work it out, it feels like it needs to know NOW!  But that need and desperation is your sign that you are spiralling, and you actually need to do nothing. 

I read Martha Becks new book, Beyond Anxiety, recently – some great bits in there for anyone who like to read – and she used the phrase,

 ‘If you’re struggling, then you’re spiralling’

which I really liked, because it’s not always easy to detect whether it’s your OCD/anxiety calling the shots or whether it’s actually something you should be paying attention to. In fact your brain will be telling you it’s the only thing you should be focusing right now. But if you’re suffering/struggling/distressed you can trust that you’re not being rational, and it IS your anxious OCD brain catastrophising. 

Once the logical brain switches back on, you’ll easily be able to rationalise the thoughts – I promise. 

I also know that when OCD is bad, the amount of time you spend out of fight or flight is low.  I can remember when I had my nervous breakdown, I thought my brain was never going to go quiet – ever.  And then one day I noticed I had a few seconds when it was and I thought, YES, it is possible, but it takes time, I’m not going to lie, it’s tough.  So know that if your OCD is currently bad, you may not be thinking rationally much of the time!   

You might not think this right now, so I’m going to tell you. You are a good person, you are worth it, and there is light at the end of that tunnel, so never give up. 

Stay strong – you are not alone xxx