Category: OCD Coping Strategies

Overcoming OCD: Letting Go of the Rope

Posted in OCD General, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD Awareness Week, Mental Health, OCDTagged , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I have had OCD for what is fast coming up to 30 years. As I quickly approach my 41st birthday it can sometimes feel like I’ve been fighting a war inside my brain for what feels like forever.  I’ve read all the books, listened to the podcasts, had a couple of rounds of therapy, trained as a yoga teacher and PT, I look after my nutritional and physical health, and choose to share what I’ve learnt in the hope of helping others through my blog, Instagram posts and workshops. 

So why I ask myself do I still struggle at times?  Why does the world still feel overwhelming & why won’t my nervous system just relax already? 

Maybe my expectations are too high?  I had a therapist once say to me that I might just have to ‘accept the fact that I’m an anxious person’, not really what you want to hear but then expecting to find total inner peace is probably a little unrealistic too I realise.     

I know Steven Phillipson says, ‘I don’t care how you feel, continue with your day aligning to your values’ and I try to do this. It is in fact how I’ve managed to achieve everything I have over the last 10 years but I do sometimes wonder how much noise is normal?

I wrote in a post a while back: ‘When we have OCD, Fight-or-flight can turn into a trait instead of a temporary state!’ and this is how I feel, like I’m stuck in fight or flight most of the time. My ability to relax, be in the moment and not feel overwhelmed is seriously lacking.    

I feel like I’ve been on a mission the last few years for answers – which I now realise may be a sneaky compulsion of mine, eek!   Maybe what I should have been doing is letting go of the rope – another ACT metaphor which I love.

This ACT metaphor illustrates how struggling against your obsessions (the monster) is a never-ending fight, but Letting go of the rope and not engaging with your intrusive thoughts, accepting the presence of them and carrying on with your life while aligning to you values is your way to freedom. 

Breaking it down a bit further:

  • The Monster: Represents your OCD obsessions.
  • The Rope: Represents your attempts to control, avoid, or eliminate these obsessions with compulsions.
  • The Pit: Represents the fear of being consumed by, or drowning in your obsessions.
  • Letting Go: Means dropping the rope (not completing the compulsions) and ceasing the battle, not necessarily defeating the monster (obsession). 

We need to recognise that fighting our obsessions is exhausting and ultimately ineffective, allowing our difficult thoughts and feelings to be present without fighting them is the key, this then frees up energy and attention to focus on what actually matters. 

I wonder then have I secretly been pulling on that rope and keeping my OCD alive with all my research and development?  Argh! Does it all actually come down to my inability to just stop and sit with the feelings?

As I head towards my 30 year anniversary with OCD, I need to acknowledge that some education with OCD is important but then try to recognise where the line is between being informed and it being a compulsion.  

Have you got any sneaky defaults which are keeping your OCD alive and kicking? Do you feel like you’re doing everything right but you’re still struggling too?  

Maybe try and keep a list this week, whenever you notice yourself doing something unnecessary because of your OCD, write it down, awareness is the first step to being able to change these traits, which we have unknowingly accepted into our lives. 

On a more positive note and bringing some hope back into the conversation. I do have the odd occasion when I come out of fight or flight and it feels so wonderful.  It feels like what life should be, I’m present, in the moment and experiencing life as it could be, full of opportunity and joy.  

If I have one target for the next 40 years it’s to spend as much time as possible out of fight or flight and if I can achieve this I will be a very happy soul. I want to be able to enjoy life without rushing through it, listen when people talk, take joy in the small things and the process of getting to them.      

Let me know if any of this resonates with you.  It can be very lonely at times to have OCD, and community can help us feel that less.
A bit of a heartfelt one this week as I approach that 30 year milestone but sometimes that’s what’s needed.

As always, you are not alone,
Stay Strong xxx

ACT Metaphors for OCD Recovery

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I’ve written a lot recently about how when we have OCD, if we give into our compulsions we are likely to be plunged into our sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous system.   

This is an issue as when in this state we are unable to think rationally and our intrusive thoughts can feel all overwhelming. 

There are some great ACT metaphors which we can use to illustrate this concept, below are 3 of my favourites, let me know which one’s yours:

1. The fog

When an OCD thought comes in imagine it like fog being blown towards you.  You have the choice, at this stage, to not participate, let the thought be and wait for the fog to dissipate or you can give into the compulsion.  Every time you give into the compulsion, whatever it may be, imagine a new layer of fog being blown towards you, further damping your ability to see clearly.

2.Ripples on a pond

Here the OCD obsession is like a stone being thrown into a pond.  If we do nothing and let it be the ripples will soon disperse and we will be able to see clearly again. If however we give into the compulsion it’s the equivalent of throwing a new stone in every time.

3.The bus stop

Here we see that before we are triggered we are standing at the bus stop watching the traffic go by.  If we then get triggered and give into the compulsion it is the equivalent of walking out into the road and being surrounded by the traffic, therefore not being able to see clearly.

There are plenty more of these metaphors out there, if you’ve found these ones helpful why not have a look around for some others or if you know of another helpful one then add it in the comments below, I’d love to hear it. 

I do think the metaphors can make it all seem very easy to just draw yourself back out of fight or flight. I don’t for a second want to belittle how hard this is to do when you’re in it, believe me I know, but it can help to show what the effect of giving into an OCD compulsion can be and hopefully it gives you another tool and incentive to not give into those compulsions when they come along, they really do only lead to misery. 

I really hope it helps, as always remember you are not alone.
Stay Strong xxx 

OCD: Your thoughts are NOT special! 

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A small idea with a big impact which I’d like to share with you today is a statement I heard on a podcast:

‘You’re not special’

It sounds kind of simple and maybe a bit mean but as humans we generally like to think of ourselves as being unique and different from everyone else. 

The reality of thinking in this way however is that it can make us feel that our problems/issues/intrusive thoughts are unique too.

This is an issue, if we think our problems are unique then we can believe them to be unsolvable.

When we have OCD we think, ‘no one else will have had these thoughts before’, this can lead to us becoming isolated and withdrawn.

The reality however is that we’re not that special and the more likely scenario is that multiple people will have experienced the same thoughts you have. 

Our brains like to keep us isolated and trapped believing it keeps us safe, but I’m here to tell you:

THIS IS RUBBISH!!

A side note here to say when it comes to OCD I would go to a OCD therapist, rather than a friend, as they will have the training to help you understand what is going on and see the thoughts for what they are – faulty signals being sent from your overactive amygdala. 

A short one today but such a powerful idea, which always helps me when I think of it. 

I really hope it helps,
Remember you are not alone and you’re not that special either! 
Stay Strong xxx

Conquering OCD: Recognizing Fight or Flight Responses

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In my last post I talked about the threat bucket metaphor and how it relates to our resilience levels – if you haven’t read that one you might want to go and check it out first – link to pervious post.

In this post we’re going to look closer at why it’s particularly bad for your bucket to overflow when you have OCD and why your self-care is of the upmost importance. 

Why it’s so bad for OCD when your bucket overflows?

When we have OCD we want to do everything we can to keep our resilience as high as possible, why? 
Well, when in fight-or-flight, our brain shifts into ‘survival mode’ this, like OCD, changes how you think, not just how you feel.

Our goals switch to speed and safety over accuracy, nuance and long-term reasoning – not what we want when dealing with OCD intrusive thoughts. 

Here’s a summary of what’s happening in the brain when our resilience drops (bucket overflows).

1. Our brain’s “thinking centre” goes offline – The prefrontal cortex (responsible for reasoning, planning, empathy, and impulse control) becomes less active.

This means:

  • We have a reduced ability to think logically
  • Difficulty seeing multiple perspectives
  • Poor working memory (“I can’t think straight”)
  • And more impulsive reactions

You’re not choosing this—blood flow and neural activity are redirected away from this area.

2. Our threat-detection system takes over – our amygdala and related limbic structures start to dominate.

This means our thinking becomes:

  • Threat-focused (“What’s wrong?”)
  • Binary (safe vs dangerous, right vs wrong, black vs white)
  • Fast and reactive
  • Emotion-driven

Our brains are asking one question only: “How do I survive this?”

3. Cognitive narrowing occurs, Fight-or-flight (an overflowing bucket) causes tunnel thinking.

You may experience:

  • Fixation on one detail or outcome
  • Loss of creativity and flexibility
  • Difficulty accessing learned skills – this is why prepping in advance for triggering situations is so important
  • Overgeneralization (“This always happens”)

This is efficient for survival—but limiting for problem-solving and not where you want to be when experiencing intrusive thoughts.

4. Biases increase – in survival mode, the brain relies on shortcuts, common thinking patterns include:

  • Catastrophizing
  • Mind reading (“They’re against me”)
  • Personalization
  • Black-and-white thinking

These are not “bad habits”—they’re stress (OCD)-induced neural shortcuts.

Understanding all this helps you realise that you can’t reason or ruminate your way out of fight-or-flight (OCD)—you regulate your nervous system first. Thinking comes back after ‘safety’ is restored.

BUT…
…how do we know if we’re in fight or flight in the first place?
and
…how do we get out of it and stay out of it when our amygdala keeps letting off faulty signals all the time?
I hear you ask.

Honestly it can feel impossible at times, I get it! 

First things first, the best way I’ve found to work out if I’m in fight or flight is from Martha Beck:

Ask yourself:
‘Am I suffering/struggling?’

If the answer is, ‘yes’ then you can almost guarantee you’re in fight or flight.   
There’ll be no logic involved, you won’t be thinking rationally – you need to stop.    

Our bodies are designed to move between rest and digest and fight or flight naturally and if you can recognise you’re dysregulated and sit with the uncomfortable feeling then great, do that.

I have however found some nice ways to speed up the process, so you can start to see things more rationally more quickly!   

Here are some of the best tools I’ve found to come out of fight or flight when in it:

  1. Creativity – this will mean different things for different people but creativity is amazing at switching on a different part of the brain, drawing your attention away from the catastrophizing part. Quite often if you can focus on creating something, whether it be a piece of art, a yoga sequence, something in the kitchen, garden, workshop, on the computer, anything that gets you thinking outside the box, you will start to draw your attention back to a more balance place.
    What’s your creative outlet?
  2. Curiosity – This can be curiosity about anything, quite often when we become curious and interested in something it grounds us and pulls us away from that extreme black and white thinking. Try asking why? Maybe investigate how something works or why it’s the way it is.
    Have you ever wondered about anything?
  3. Humour – is fabulous for getting the brain to switch modes. It works because its unexpected, remember the brain is a prediction machine and it’s pretty good at it. When a joke comes along and it doesn’t end where the brain think it will, BAM! You’re out of default mode and the brain is switched on and listening.
    Do you like any particular comedians? Go and look up one of their new sets online.
  4. Awe – part of the joy of being human is our ability to find awe. It can really give you some perspective when you look at the stars, birds, clouds, landscape etc. Going out into the world and finding things that make you think, wow! Is very important to our wellbeing and it helps us reset.
    What brings you that feeling of awe?
  5. A Challenge – this can be tricky when you’re in fight or flight but something which I found fun – from Martha Becks book – was to try and write your signature backwards. It takes a huge amount of focus and is very grounding. Go on, give it a try!
  6. Foundations Work – movement, nutrition, sleep, relaxation & social connection.  This takes an element of doing what you know is good for you, even when you don’t feel like it. We have to take action first, do the things we know make us feel better in the long run, your body and brain will thank you.

I really hope some of these methods are useful for you, give them a go and see what works.  It can be very individual which is tricky but once you’ve found the thing that works it can be seriously life changing.  Once back in rest and digest quite often we can let the thought go and see it as completely irrational, but if not, at this stage we can work through Byron Katies, questions.

Ask yourself:
Is it true?
Is it 100% true?  If the answer is no – which it always is in the case of OCD as it is based in doubt and uncertainty – then:

YOU HAVE TO LET IT GO!!!!!!

As I said in one of my previous posts, why would you torture yourself over anything less than 100% certainty?

I really hope this post has helped you to understand the role the nervous system plays in OCD and why it’s so important to recognise when you’re in fight or flight and find useful ways to bring yourself back. Only when out of fight or flight can we rationalise, think clearly and see OCD thoughts for what they are, just thoughts.

And if you ever wanted a reason not to complete a compulsion in the first place then remember, every time you give into one of those unwanted, intrusive, and distressing thoughts, images, urges, or feelings you’re filling up your bucket a little bit more and getting closer and closer to fight or flight, where it all starts to fall apart! 

Leave that thought be and carry on with your life aligning to your values. 

I really hope this post helps, education and knowledge are so vital for OCD recovery,
As Always, you are not alone,

Stay Strong xxx  

Breaking the Cycle: Overcoming OCD Compulsions

Posted in Mental Health, OCD, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I wrote last week about how when we get triggered by OCD obsessions (unwanted, intrusive, and distressing thoughts, images, urges, or feelings), it’s a faulty signal from our amygdala (part of the brain responsible for detecting potential threats), if we then give into the compulsion (a repetitive behaviour or mental act) it confirms the threat and fully triggers the fight or flight response in our body. 

Why is this an issue? 

Well, when in fight or flight we don’t tend to think rationally, we’re in survival mode and though this system can be useful at times, when it comes to OCD it’s not the place we want to be. 

It allows the irrational use of compulsions to ‘neutralise’ thoughts seem rational.  We see ourselves doing things we know are senseless, like retracing our steps, washing our hands multiple times, repeating safety phrases in our heads or ruminating endlessly on thoughts, but for whatever reason the brain has convinced us it will help. 

This is wrong, in fact compulsions do nothing but cause us more distress, more uncertainty and less trust in our own ability to cope!

So why does our body do this? 

According to ChapGPT it serves the following purposes:

The brain prioritizes speed over nuance.
In a threat situation, the amygdala, pushes the body to act quickly. Nuanced thinking takes time; survival favours rapid, simple judgments like safe vs. unsafe, friend vs. foe, stay vs. run.

It reduces cognitive load during stress.
Under high stress, the prefrontal cortex (responsible for reasoning and complex thinking) becomes less active. The brain simplifies decisions to conserve resources.

It minimizes hesitation.
Ambivalence can be dangerous during real threats. If you’re being chased, you don’t want to think:
“Well, maybe it’s dangerous, but maybe it’s not, and perhaps I should consider my options…”
You want an immediate, decisive action.

It helps coordinate the body’s physiological response.
Fight-or-flight relies on a clear appraisal: threat = act. Black-and-white thinking helps the brain send a strong, unified signal.

Why is this an issue in OCD?

When we believe our obsessions, which are being prompted by a fault in this system and give into our compulsions, we are triggering our fight or flight response repeatedly, the cascade of issues this causes is as follows:

The brain learns:

  • Ambiguity = risk
  • Nuance = unsafe
  • Only extremes are predictable

So the nervous system keeps simplifying the world into binaries—even when there is no threat!

Our amygdala becomes hyper-reactive

A sensitized amygdala reacts to mild cues, (OCD obsessions) as if they’re major threats. This leads to rapid, black-and-white judgments like:

  • “That bump in the road might have been a person”
  • “I had a negative thought when I turned on the light, maybe I should turn it off again and make sure I think positive thoughts when I turn it on this time, just in case.”
  • “There’s a tiny mark on that apple, I should probably throw it away and get another one, it’s probably poisonous.”

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning and nuance, gets less access as chronic stress reduces blood flow and connectivity in regions that support:

  • Perspective-taking
  • Emotional regulation
  • Tolerance for uncertainty
  • Gray-area thinking
  • Long-term planning

In this state, the brain defaults to simple categories because complexity feels overwhelming.

When we have OCD, Fight-or-flight can turn into a trait instead of a temporary state!

When the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) stays activated long-term, the cognitive style that evolved for emergencies becomes our everyday thinking. 

This is why giving into OCD compulsions, even one, is only ever going to lead to more distress, more compulsions to try and relive that stress, sending you freefalling down that rabbit hole. 

We need to realise that the compulsion is not keeping us safe and remove it’s usefulness. 

I know from years of experience with OCD that there’s always another ‘what if?’ or ‘maybe?’ and whenever I’ve given into a compulsion all I’ve done is made things worse. I become withdrawn, irritable and irrational, simple tasks get overwhelming and life becomes very challenging. 

I understand it can feel impossible at times not to just do the compulsion, ‘just once more won’t hurt, I’ll sit with it the next time’ – sound familiar?  But I know from experience that it’s never going to feel easy, it’s always going to be challenging.

However knowing that the compulsion is useless, serves no purpose and will only make things worse, helps give me the strength to not give in.

I really hope this information helps you too. Let me know what you think in the comments below.
As always,
Stay Strong xxx

Expect and Accept: Overcoming OCD Thoughts

Posted in Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Awareness Week, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , Leave a comment

‘Expect and accept’, is a new mantra I’ve been trying out recently. 

I’ve found It can be helpful when managing OCD thoughts day-to-day to have a mantra to act as a ‘switch’ for the brain, helping you to label the thoughts as OCD and move on. 

Obviously in an ideal world you wouldn’t need it but it can be so easy at times to get dragged into OCD thoughts and before you know it, you’re freefalling down a rumination rabbit hole and all sense of reality has gone.

Don’t be fooled by the cute bunny, he may appear to be your friend but believe me he isn’t!

At times like this it can be so helpful to have a little reminder, like a therapist in your ear, saying to you:

So let’s be clear here, by saying ‘expect it’, I’m not saying, lets invite those thoughts along or will them to be there.  It’s more about having an awareness that if you’re going into a triggering situation, a new environment or out of your comfort zone, then it’s highly likely that your OCD will want to come along for the ride. 

I’ve found at times that I can get frustrated with my OCD when it turns up and what I’ve learnt over the years is if you don’t want it to be there, then it’s almost guaranteed to be.

When it does, if it does, we need to accept it.  We can do this by saying, ‘Thank you, brain that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now’.

After all OCD recovery is not about getting rid of the intrusive thoughts, this is a common mistake, remember everyone gets them. So it’s more about allowing them to be there and then carrying on with your day regardless, aligning with your values. 

I realise how hard this is, but know that you are not alone and that every time you carry on with your day, despite the thoughts, you are making progress and the brain is learning it doesn’t need to freak out at every thought that comes into your mind.  

Why not give the mantra a go this week and see if it helps you too. Let me know how you get on in the comments below.

Remember: ‘Expect it and Accept it’

As always,
Stay Strong xxx

The Role of Values in Overcoming OCD

Posted in Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Awareness Week, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD GeneralTagged , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

I’ve mentioned values in several posts to date, and I feel it’s time to take a closer at them and why they are so important in OCD recovery. 

What’s a value anyway? 

Lets start at the beginning, a value is: ‘a principle or standard of behaviour; one’s judgement of what is important in life’.

They are the standards we set for ourselves to live by, they outline the things that are most important to us and help guide us with our daily choices. 

If you’ve done any ACT (acceptance commitment thearpy), then you will know that values work is one of the 6 core principles

They describe values as something you, ‘do’ rather than ‘have’. They are verbs not nouns, general directions and guiders for life, a place you can never arrive at but are always striving towards.  

From this description they can feel quite nebulous, but they are the invisible building blocks of our lives. 

How do you work out your values?

There are lots of great exercises online that you can work through.  Here are a couple of links to try but a quick google will find you lots of information on the topic.

Values worksheet 1

Values worksheet 2

If you’ve never done this work before then I advise spending a bit of time working through one of the above activities. 

So why are values so important in OCD recovery? 

They become especially useful when you are struggling because you can align to your values and know that that’s the person you want to be. 

You can then take actions towards your values, regardless of the thoughts and how you feel, which is exactly what we need to do when OCD gets loud.

OCD has a nasty habit of making you think you’re the worst person in the world, capable of distressing and horrible things and when you’re spiralling it can be incredibly hard to pull yourself out.

Your values then become a superpower, acting as your anchor during these difficult times.  They remind you of who you truly want to be and allow you to proactively take action to align with them. 

Say for example that your values are to be an honest, trustworthy, reliable, kind and loving person, then when OCD is telling you otherwise you have the opportunity to say;

‘No OCD, I’m not who you’re telling me I am, I know my values and I’m going to carry on with my day aligning to them’. 

The brain believes what it sees, so if you live your life aligning to your values then you will be banking undisputable evidence of who you are. The OCD thoughts then become much easier to dismiss and don’t take hold as easily. 

In addition to this it’s worth remembering here that OCD thoughts are ego-dystonic, which refers to the fact that the obsessions and compulsions are inconsistent with a person’s values, beliefs, and self-image, understandably causing a lot of distress.  

When going through OCD therapy and recovery it can feel so tough at times and your values can act as your guiding light through the darkness. 

Every time it feels overwhelming and tough, you need to remind yourself of your values and ask yourself;

‘If I’m aligning with my values and the person I want to be then what would I do in this situation?’  

  • Would I drive back and check if that bump in the road was a person or would I carry on with my day?
  • Would I wash my hands again because they still feel dirty or would I just carry on with my day?
  • Would I spend hours ruminating over the nightmare I had last night and not make it into work, or would I just carry on with my day?

There are endless scenarios you could use here but ultimately you have to ask yourself, is your OCD holding you back from the values-based life you want to live? 

I’m guessing the answer is yes.   

The amazing thing about doing values work, is that once they’re in place they allow your life to become more focused and meaningful in all ways.  You become empowered to let anything that doesn’t align with them go, which quite often results in a lot less drama, mental health struggles and a lot more peace.

I’d love to know if you have also found ACT therapy and Values work helpful in your OCD recovery, please share your insights below.

As always,
Stay Strong xxx

Why it’s so important not to pay attention to OCD thoughts.

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OCD is the king of doubt and uncertainty, he’ll play on any worries or fears you have, and he’ll pick the things you care about most to do it with! 

He is not your friend in anyway and listening to him is like, ‘taking directions to heaven from the devil’ – thank you Dr Steven Phillipson for that wonderful analogy. 

You must therefore be tenacious, relentless and non-negotiable in your recovery because OCD is! 

You mustn’t even take a peep down that rabbit hole because before you know it, you’ll be tumbling down inside it.

Your job is to do nothing, just carry on with your day as if the thoughts are completely irrelevant because you know what, they are! 

Now I realise all this is easily said and much harder in reality but any other approach is going to end up with you putting your life on hold in some way.  Just take a moment to read that again and then realise that any other approach to OCD intrusive thoughts is going to end up with you, procrastinating, spiralling, getting caught up in your thoughts, impairing your judgements, distracting you from your life, taking you away from all the things you care about and keeping you STUCK! 

Yes, that’s the brutal reality of OCD, it’s stopping you living your life by stealing your mental capacity, which by the way, you only have a limited amount of each day. When your preoccupied with OCD thoughts you are not living your life to the full.    

It is such a mental and physical drag to carry OCD round with you, day in & day out and when you’ve had it for a long time you can start to get used to that weight!  Ouch, that was hard to write. It’s very insidious and it creeps into all parts of your life; it can even go back and destroy happy memories which is devastating.  

So how do we sit with these thoughts?  Well, a couple of the phrases I’ve found which have been useful are:

‘Thank you, OCD, that’s exactly what I want to hear right now’

And

‘Thank you, but I’m not answering that question right now.’

Both phrases allow you to accept the thought without pushing it away.  I’ve used them both successfully and they do work. They do require you to sit with the uncertainty, which can be very uncomfortable at times. If you find it’s too much, then go and have a look at last week’s post ‘2 simple questions to easily dismiss OCD thoughts’, to help you with the letting go process.

I really hope it helps
Stay Strong xxx

2 Simple Questions to Easily Dismiss OCD Thoughts

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing, OCD, OCD Awareness Week, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD General, worryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

No matter how many years I’ve had OCD and how many tools I have in my toolbox, there does still seem to be times when a thought will, pop up and for whatever reason it gets a bit stuck. 

I find it particularly frustrating after all the work I’ve put into my recovery but somehow my brains default mode does seem to be to doubt & worry and so I must be proactive about using the tools I’ve learnt along the way to keep my mental health in check. 

One tool which I find endlessly helpful to dismiss OCD thoughts is one I learnt from Byron Katie. 

It’s worth noting here that in an ideal world we wouldn’t invest any time in the thoughts, we’d let them be but if they do stick – for whatever reason – then take 5 minutes and give this tool a whirl.

Byron Katie calls it ‘The Work’ and it takes the form of a set of questions:

As yourself

  1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who or what would you be without the thought?

The tool seems too simple right, but it is unbelievably good.

I love Byron Katies version, but I have found that I don’t need the whole version to be able to dismiss my OCD thoughts. All I generally need to do is ask myself,

Is it true? 

Quite often when I ask myself this question it isn’t obvious what my brain is obsessing over at all!  OCD can be so vague – after all fear lives in the vague – and when I dig down a little deeper the true fear is often nonsense.  Sometimes this is enough on its own for me to dismiss the thought! 

If not, I ask myself

Is it 100% true?

With OCD the answer is always NO, because OCD is about doubt and uncertainty and so I can guarantee you won’t know 100%. 

Next, I tell myself

If it’s not 100% true, then,

‘YOU HAVE TO LET IT GO!’

Why would you torture yourself over something which isn’t 100% fact?  The brain is looking for certainty which you cannot give it, so let it go.

And this is enough for me to sit with the thought and let it be. 

Just two simple questions:

  1. Is it true
  2. Is it 100% true?

I cannot tell you how many times this method has helped me.  I really hope it’s useful for you too. Let me know in the comments below

As always
Stay Strong xxx

5 Simple Words to Help Manage Intrusive Thoughts Effectively

Posted in Anxiety, Mental Health, OCD, OCD Awareness Week, OCD Coping Strategies, OCD General, worryTagged , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

‘I’m not answering that question’, 5 simple words and yet it can feel so hard in the moment. 

When you’re spiralling – for whatever reason – you can feel quite desperate and like you must focus all your attention on answering OCD/anxieties questions, because ‘this time it might matter’, ‘I can’t take that risk’ or ‘I need to check, just in case’!

Does all this sound familiar? 

I get this a lot, in fact most days.  Sometimes something will happen or sometimes it can literally be an uncomfortable thought, feeling or emotion and that’s it my brain will hyper-focus on trying to work out the answer/solution as if it’s life or death! 

Sitting with the doubt can feel like too much, when it’s the people you love, your own mortality or something that strongly conflicts with your values.  You feel like the risk is too high and you must know the answer right now! 

Well let me tell you something, this is OCD and anxieties favourite game.  It wants to steal your focus, it wants your time and energy and nothing but your full attention is acceptable.  It likes to throw things at you until something sticks and then, aha, it’s got you, say goodbye to the rest of your day! 

So, how can we know if it’s OCD and anxiety or whether we genuinely need to pay attention to a thought, I hear you ask?

Ultimately the game is to learn to sit with the uncertainty but I’ve found a good guidepost is to ask yourself the following two questions:

  1. Am I suffering? 
  2. Do I feel desperate and like I need the answer right now?

If you’ve answered yes to either of these questions, then in my experience you can pretty much guarantee that you are in an anxiety/OCD spiral and that you wont be thinking logically/rationally. 

Your job is therefore to do NOTHING!

Step away from the thought and carry on with your day as if it’s completely irrelevant.  You can expect to feel anxious but that’s OK. 

Every time that thought comes back into your head just say the 5 words:

‘I’m not answering that question.’

and carry on with whatever you’re doing.

I do understand that in the moment when your brain is telling you that thought needs all your attention it can feel impossible, but you need to be brave and let it be. 

Another time this is particularly helpful is at night, when our rational brain is having a rest and we’re never thinking at our best. Things ALWAYS seem worse in the middle of the night so just tell your brain, I’m not answering that question’.

I really hope it helps you as much as it has me,
Let me know how you get on and as always,
Stay Strong xxx