Category: Mental Health

Taking on too much

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Now this is something that most of us probably do a lot of the time but it is very important, especially when you’re recovering from a mental health problem to try to put yourself first.  This isn’t always easy when you have a family but you have to remember that if you’re not 100% then your family will suffer too.

Taking on too much can cover a wide variety of things from work related stresses to other people’s problems.  Whatever you’re doing always try to get your recovery and wellbeing at the forefront of your mind and if that means you have to be a little selfish from time to time then you what, that’s fine.

If you have a friend who just sucks all the energy from you because all they do is moan then don’t see them so often.  If you know people are taking advantage of your good nature by asking too much of you then talk to them, say you haven’t got the time/energy, they probably don’t even realise they’re doing it.

It is OK to be a bit selfish at times and do a few things for just you.  I know as a mum you are always putting everyone else first and your needs seems to come right at the bottom of the list, if at all but it is important to try as mental health problems can spiral out of control very quickly.

Something I’ve been doing a lot recently is not eating well enough.  I make sure my little boy has the best food, homemade and full of goodness and then I find myself eating his scraps or having made nothing for myself at all.  I am so concerned he should eat well – as I know how important that is – but then I don’t do the same for myself!

Then what I find is mid-afternoon I have no energy and I get tired and grumpy and ill more often – I seem to have endless colds at the moment – and this is because I am not caring for myself the way I know I should.  I did comment on this a couple of blogs back – OCD Letting things slip – but if I’m honest I don’t know if I’m doing any better recently.

So once again, a note to myself – and anyone else in a similar position – to take better care of myself and that it’s not selfish to do that.

Stay Strong xxx

 

 

Mental Health Crossovers

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One of the most interesting things for me when I finally got myself into some counselling was the realisation that what I was suffering from wasn’t just OCD but actually also anxiety and worry.  I had always just blanketed all of my thoughts and feelings under the OCD umbrella and it was enlightening to break it down and understand it all on another level.

I sometimes find it really difficult to differentiate between worry and OCD.  I will try now with a couple of examples:

A worry:  

‘I have to drive to the supermarket to do my shopping, what if I crash the car on the way or hit someone in the car park?  ‘  

An OCD thought after visiting the supermarket:

‘There was a pothole in the car park that I went over when leaving the supermarket, what if that was actually a child and I didn’t see them?  ‘  

Once you start to break the thoughts down, you can start to look at how to overcome them.  To be honest a lot of the methods work for both worry and OCD but there are some separate tools which could be useful.

For worry there is a tool called ‘The Worry Tree’, best shown by an illustration here.  I have personally found the worry tree very useful in helping to dismiss worrying thoughts when they come along.

Worry and OCD are also incredibly closely linked to GAD (General anxiety disorder) and the intolerance of uncertainty.

I’ve recently found the APPLE acronym  (Acknowledge, Pause, Pull Back, Let Go and Explore) which can be used to help combat GAD.  I’m going to be giving it a go (More information in link above page 2).

As always I hope this helps, Stay strong xx

Talking about mental health

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Until today I hadn’t really thought that much about speaking about mental health issues. Yes it took me a very long time to talk to anyone about my OCD but now that I have I don’t hide the fact I have it.  However when I meet someone for the first time it’s not the first thing I like to disclose about myself and thinking back now, people just don’t talk about mental health AT ALL!  So with the exception of just coming straight out with it, there is rarely a natural opportunity to talk about it.  In fact to this day some of my friends still don’t know, just because the opportunity has never arisen to tell them.  This makes me sad, as it’s a huge part of who I am and there is an element of freedom which comes with people knowing.

So if someone was struggling with a mental health issue, any mental health issue, would they feel like they could talk about it?  I’m guessing probably not, this is a huge failing in today’s society which must stop.  Why are mental health issues such a taboo subject when such a high percentage of the population is struggling with them (probably even more then we realise)?

So how do we get people talking about mental health?  It’s a very good question.

Events such as Mental health week help to bring mental health into the mainstream and get people talking but this is only one week a year.

Maybe if someone famous is suffering the way you are, you could use them to lead the conversation in that direction?

Perhaps a general stat could help, ‘One in four adults in the UK is suffering with a mental health issue of some kind’.

You may be surprised once you start chatting who else is feeling the same way as you. We owe it to each other to get these conversations going, don’t let people suffer in silence!

A problem shared is a problem halved

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I think one of the things which sets OCD apart from other mental illnesses is the shame it can generate within the sufferer.  The thoughts can be so repulsive to the person suffering that they don’t even want to admit them to themselves, let alone tell someone else.  This is why so many people with OCD suffer silently for so many years on their own.  Which is so sad as once you start talking about your thoughts they start to loose their ‘power’ over you.

It took me 20 years to go to the doctors and ask for help, 20 YEARS!!!!!!  Even then I wasn’t sure I could.  The thing that finally pushed me to go was my partner.  They were having some anxiety problems of their own and instead of suffering they just made an appointment with the doctors and went, as if ‘why wouldn’t you?’  I sat there and thought, you’ve suffered for a few weeks and you’re getting help, I’ve suffered for 20 years, I need help, I want help and so I went.  But to this day if they hadn’t gone, I don’t think I would have.

I can remember sitting in the waiting room at the doctors (they were running late of course)  getting more and more wound up.  When I finally got to see the doctor I’m not even sure what I said, I had after all 20 years worth of thoughts to throw their way, but they understood straight away and they were very understanding.

I had some CBT therapy, (there is normally a wait for this, all the more reason to go sooner rather than later).  Did CBT therapy work for me?  Yes it was good (and I will go into more detail in a later post), but what helped me more then anything was sharing my thoughts, every time I talked to someone about one of my thoughts, it lost it’s ‘power’.  I know my OCD thoughts are irrational and by sharing them with someone who understands OCD, that was confirmed and therefore the thought diminished.  For me the saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ couldn’t of been more true.

OCD is quite a personal thing, what works for one person may not work for another but what will help everyone, I would guess, is talking openly about it.  If you can’t talk to a professional talk to a close friend who you trust, a family member who knows you well.  Just don’t continue to suffer in silence.

Mental Health Awareness Week

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This week is mental health awareness week, it now feels even more fitting that this was the week I choose to finally start my blog and try to spread awareness about OCD.

The mental health foundation have a questionnaire on their website where you can find out your good mental health score, Mental Health Survey .  I was surprised after having taken it answering mostly ‘Some of the time’ – so not particularly positively overall – that I actually achieved an average (“Normal”) result.  I think this helps to back up what is becoming more and more apparent that mental health issues are on the rise and effect more people then we realise – I believe the current stat is 1 in 4 people (Some Mental Health Stats).

It is very easy when you are suffering from a mental health issue to think you are alone and that no one else could be going through what you are.  When I first starting suffering I was only 11 and I had never even heard of OCD, I had no idea what was happening and it was terrifying.  The only way we can stop this happening to other people is to raise awareness.  This is why this week is so important.