I wrote last week about trust being maybe the most important thing in OCD and Anxiety recovery.  I’ve been using this concept over the last week in my OCD work and there really does seem to be something in it. 

Ultimately OCD thrives on doubt, and that doubt is in yourself and your ability to cope with whatever situation life/your brain throws at you.  It’s our inability to trust that when placed in a situation, we’ll take the right action/make the right decision/act in accordance with our values/be able to cope with the whatever’s thrown our way.

So why don’t we trust ourselves?  Who or what has made us doubt our own mind & judgement?

We’re generally told not to go looking for reasons we have OCD in therapy and the current belief – or so I understand – is that it is potentially a mix of genetics & life experiences but as far as I know there are no certainties here.    

Ultimately, we don’t need to know why we have it to recover from it, but it is my belief that OCD is often triggered when we’re in periods of heightened emotional stress.   Potentially trauma but also new mums, big life changes, times when our parasympathetic nervous system – fight or flight – is more active for whatever reason. 

When in this mindset (fight or flight) we think less rationally (trust ourselves less), our emotional brain is more active and so the thoughts that come up could potentially be stickier/more triggering to us. 

I know when my OCD/anxiety has been triggered, for whatever reason, I am then more vulnerable to other OCD thoughts/triggers – a reason ERP can be so hard.  When I’m back in my sympathetic nervous system – rest and digest – often I can dismiss THE SAME THOUGHTS easily (I trust myself). 

Another example of this is at night when the rational side of the brain (prefrontal cortex) winds down for a rest and the emotional side of the brain takes control.  Ever thought something in the middle of the night and freaked yourself out, not been able to get back to sleep and then in the morning thought, what the…….???? Yep, that’s what OCD feels like.  The logical part of the brain seems to switch off and you’re in fight or flight, thinking in black and white, able to convince yourself that up is down and potentially you could secretly be a psychopath/murderer/paedophile/whatever your current theme may be. 

This emotional part of the brain is powerful – imagine it like an elephant and the logical thinking part like the rider.  The rider cannot control the elephant; it must work with it otherwise it will take control.

We regain our trust and switch the logical brain back on by sitting with the thoughts and doing, well, nothing.  This, when you’re in fight or flight is terrifying, almost impossible at times.  Your brain is desperate to work it out, it feels like it needs to know NOW!  But that need and desperation is your sign that you are spiralling, and you actually need to do nothing. 

I read Martha Becks new book, Beyond Anxiety, recently – some great bits in there for anyone who like to read – and she used the phrase,

 ‘If you’re struggling, then you’re spiralling’

which I really liked, because it’s not always easy to detect whether it’s your OCD/anxiety calling the shots or whether it’s actually something you should be paying attention to. In fact your brain will be telling you it’s the only thing you should be focusing right now. But if you’re suffering/struggling/distressed you can trust that you’re not being rational, and it IS your anxious OCD brain catastrophising. 

Once the logical brain switches back on, you’ll easily be able to rationalise the thoughts – I promise. 

I also know that when OCD is bad, the amount of time you spend out of fight or flight is low.  I can remember when I had my nervous breakdown, I thought my brain was never going to go quiet – ever.  And then one day I noticed I had a few seconds when it was and I thought, YES, it is possible, but it takes time, I’m not going to lie, it’s tough.  So know that if your OCD is currently bad, you may not be thinking rationally much of the time!   

You might not think this right now, so I’m going to tell you. You are a good person, you are worth it, and there is light at the end of that tunnel, so never give up. 

Stay strong – you are not alone xxx