OCD Recovery – Page 6 – Conquering OCD

Now this is something that most of us probably do a lot of the time but it is very important, especially when you’re recovering from a mental health problem to try to put yourself first. This isn’t always easy when you have a family but you have to remember that if you’re not 100% then your family will suffer too.

Taking on too much can cover a wide variety of things from work related stresses to other people’s problems. Whatever you’re doing always try to get your recovery and wellbeing at the forefront of your mind and if that means you have to be a little selfish from time to time then you what, that’s fine.

If you have a friend who just sucks all the energy from you because all they do is moan then don’t see them so often. If you know people are taking advantage of your good nature by asking too much of you then talk to them, say you haven’t got the time/energy, they probably don’t even realise they’re doing it.

It is OK to be a bit selfish at times and do a few things for just you. I know as a mum you are always putting everyone else first and your needs seems to come right at the bottom of the list, if at all but it is important to try as mental health problems can spiral out of control very quickly.

Something I’ve been doing a lot recently is not eating well enough. I make sure my little boy has the best food, homemade and full of goodness and then I find myself eating his scraps or having made nothing for myself at all. I am so concerned he should eat well – as I know how important that is – but then I don’t do the same for myself!

Then what I find is mid-afternoon I have no energy and I get tired and grumpy and ill more often – I seem to have endless colds at the moment – and this is because I am not caring for myself the way I know I should. I did comment on this a couple of blogs back – OCD Letting things slip – but if I’m honest I don’t know if I’m doing any better recently.

So once again, a note to myself – and anyone else in a similar position – to take better care of myself and that it’s not selfish to do that.

Stay Strong xxx

It feels weird to actually put proper names to things which have been part of me for so long. ‘Magical thinking OCD’ is, I think one of the hardest parts of OCD for someone without it to understand. For someone with ‘Magical thinking OCD’ it is one of the most terrifying parts, there is no rhyme or reason to it. You are aware as someone with OCD experiencing the thoughts that they are completely irrational but the feelings inside our so strong you can’t take the chance.

With a very quick google this definition came up, which for those who don’t have ‘Magical thinking OCD’ I thought summed it up quite well:

” Magical thinking is an illogical thought pattern characterized by the linking of unrelated actions or events. Individuals may become preoccupied with lucky or unlucky numbers, colours, words, actions, sayings or superstitions and link them to catastrophe or ‘bad things’ that might happen”

I have had lots of these ‘magical thoughts’ over the years. I hated the colour red (blood, contamination etc) and certain words like AIDS (still hard to even write it here). I have also had massive issues with the ‘finalisation’ of things. Such as thoughts associated with leaving somewhere for the last time (maybe a holiday cottage) or clicking the ‘buy’ button online, as if a horrible thought comes into my head whilst I was doing it, such as: ‘You’re going to die from cancer’ then because I can’t repeat the action (compulsion) it creates anxiety and all the associated OCD baggage.

Over the years it has made doing almost anything particularly stressful and taken the pleasure out of pretty much everything. Wedding dress shopping, venue picking, holidays, travel, work, driving, well everything.

It is one of the hardest aspects of OCD to kick and it’s one of the most embarrassing to talk about because you know in your heart of hearts that the thoughts are irrational but you just can’t get your mind to believe that.

Ultimately magical thinking is just another way of us not being able to accept and sit with uncertainty. There will be certain themes which you find distressing and OCD will spot a weakness and pounce. It is just another way to occupy your thoughts and cause you distress. A lot of the time I think magical thinking catches us because it can seem easier in the moment to just do the compulsion – whatever it may be – but ultimately the brain just thinks the compulsion solved the issue and so the next time we find ourselves in the same situation again, up pops the magical thought and the urge to do the compulsion, because hey, last time we did the compulsion and it worked.

The only way through this one is to not do the compulsion and sit with the uncertainty, in fact you need to willingly accept the uncertainty to really let the brain know it’s, ‘all good’, and that there’s nothing to be concerned about.

Why not try out: ‘Thanks brain that’s exactly the thought I wanted right now’, the next time it throws the magical thought your way.

The more you let the thoughts be, the easier it becomes every time. Even though the thoughts still come, you will be able to dismiss them quicker and quicker and an hour later you won’t even remember the thought you had, hard to believe I know but this is true.

Ironically just not doing anything can feel like the biggest mountain to climb, as humans we like to do and fix and sort problems but really with OCD and anxiety too we just have to sit with and accept that uncomfortable feeling.

Know that completing the compulsion will have ZERO effect on whether a thought happens or not. We cannot make things happen with our thoughts, we are not magical.

You could sit there and think about winning the lottery but my guess is it won’t happen unless you actively go out and buy a ticket and even then. You cannot manifest things you don’t want either, with manifesting you have to want the thing, badly and actively pursue it. The distress the thought causes you is all the proof you should need that this is not the case.

Sit with it, accept it, be OK with uncertainty.

and Relax, nothing is under control.

You can do this!

Stay strong xxx

Tag: OCD Recovery

Taking on too much

Magical Thinking – OCD