‘The subtypes are irrelevant’. When I first heard this statement about OCD I believe I rejected it, but once you start to zoom out a bit and observe OCDs wicked game, especially when you’ve had OCD for a while and have lots of evidence to look at, you can see that the subtypes are just a cover for what’s really happening underneath, which is your inability to sit with doubt and uncertainty.
OCD will pick a subject which you care about, where you can’t tolerate uncertainty and it’ll set up camp. It honestly doesn’t care what the theme is, it’s just looking to get you hooked and fixated on something.
It’s my belief that this is a mechanism in the brain, very similar to anxiety, designed to slow you down and keep you trapped and therefore ‘safe’ from perceived harm. It’s a way of making you feel like you’re in control in a world that is uncontrollable. It’s also my belief that this is why so often OCD is triggered in times of stress and dysregulation.
I’ve had OCD since I was 11, so that’s 30 years now, and I’ve noticed through my own experience that the theme jumps about, also known as, ‘whack-a-mole’.
When I was young I worried about my family coming to harm and as grew up I worried I might harm someone myself and now as I’m older with a family I worry something might happen to me or I could do something which would harm them. It’s always locking onto my vulnerabilities, which is ultimately how much I care about the people around me.
When my health anxiety is heightened, the harm OCD gets quieter, and vice versa. Also some days old themes pop back in and depending on my how regulated my nervous system is on that day, I’m either able to completely dismiss the thought OR it can take hold again, argh!!!!!!!
So if I’m aware of all of this, how come it’s still able to get me?
I wrote a post a few weeks back which included a story called, The Elephant and the Rider, in this story it uses the metaphor of an elephant to explain how powerful the limbic system (emotional part of the brain) is. It can take hold of you and drag you down, it will lie and do whatever it can to get your attention and keep you stuck, IF it thinks it needs to.
This is why noticing your triggers and not letting them take hold is of the upmost importance, this is the only real control you have in OCD, as once the limbic system gets involved you are falling down the rabbit hole to fantasy land, where anything seems possible.
When you see that trigger pop up, notice it, label it as OCD and say:
‘Thank you OCD that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now.’
And then carry on with your day.
Twelve words, sounds too simple right?
But it is the ONLY way I have found that works.
I really hope it helps,
Stay Strong xxx
Conquering OCD 