Are you trying to control your obsessions? Are they based around things you have no control over? Is this then a completely fruitless task?

Some interesting questions but lets take a step back for a second and clarify a couple of things. What is an OCD obsession anyway?

An OCD obsession is:
‘… a recurring, unwanted thought, image, urge, or impulse that repeatedly enters a person’s mind and causes significant anxiety, distress, or discomfort.’

Things we can’t control include: feelings, emotions, thoughts, images & urges. 

Take a moment now and recognise whether your OCD has come from something you have NO control over!

Hopefully that was a lightbulb moment.    

So much of OCD is focused in on the things we can’t control.  It can feel so powerful, and overwhelming at times, as if it deserves our time and attention but as a human we need to learn that we’re not fully in control of our internal environment and to allow these automatic ‘features’ of the human condition to just be.

We don’t have to believe every thought, feeling etc that comes into our head. Most of the time the brain is just throwing things out there to see if they stick and we have to be like Teflon, letting the thoughts just float through, showing the brain that they are irrelevant. Only then will it go off to find something else to throw your way instead, which you then need to allow to float through, so the brain sees that as irrelevant too. Get the idea?

It’s when we give these normal, automatic thoughts time and energy that the brain perks up and thinks they’re important.  It takes it as a sign that you want to see more of that content and so we can see how spirals start to happen. 

On days when I don’t let the thoughts stick it is unbelievable how many different thoughts come my way, the brain is throwing them out there constantly and it’s your job to just do nothing, in the same way it’s the brains job to keep throwing random thoughts and ideas your way. Occasionally it comes up with good ones too remember, they’re not all intrusive and unwanted.  

Why do we give away our power, focus and attention to things outside of our control?

Basically because the limbic system – emotional part of the brain – is more powerful than the cognitive one.  Yes, our thinking brain is not actually the one in control most of the time. As a result we have to learn to work with our emotional brain, not against it – as this is pretty much impossible. 

There’s a famous metaphor called: ‘The Rider and the Elephant’, which helps to describe this idea. 

The rider represents our thinking brain, good at analytics and planning, but small relative to the enormous elephant.  The elephant, represents our emotional brain, it’s vast, powerful, and often driven by instinct.  The rider has the reins but needs to work with the elephant in harmony, as when the elephant gets stirred it has the ability to dislodge the rider if it wishes. 

And so we have to work with, not against our emotional brain.  It is powerful and has the ability to hijack our rational thinking. 

We work with it by accepting the obsessions when they come in.  It’s worth noting here that accepting the obsessions doesn’t mean you like, agree with or want them in any way, it just shows the brain that they are irrelevant to you and so it doesn’t need to give them any of your time, attention or awareness.

It can feel impossible at times I know but the more we push back/away the stronger they become.  Like a tug of war, we have to let go of the rope not pull harder.  

My favourite phrase to use is:

‘Thank you brain, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now.’ 

This way you are acknowledging the obsession but not pushing it away or investing any time in it.

‘But how do I know if it’s OCD or something that does need paying attemtion to?’ I hear you ask.

Ask yourself the following questions: ‘Am I struggling?’ 

If the answer is ‘Yes!’, then its your OCD and you need to step away from the content. 

I think it’s so important to remind ourselves of these basics, as at times, especially when triggered, it can feel hard to remember that you didn’t ask for the obsession and as a result it doesn’t mean anything!

I really hope this helps, as always,
Stay Strong xxx