I am the queen of self sabotage, I seem to enjoy putting myself down, talking myself out of following my dreams and continuing to do things which I know aren’t good for me.
Why do I do these things? Is it easier not to change and stay in my comfort zone? Am I scared of failure if I try? Ummm well Yes but then if I don’t try then I’ll never grow or give myself the opportunity to succeed and is that worse? I’m guessing a lot of us feel this way.
Recently I’ve decided to make a change, I am going to leave my job of 9 years and try for a new career. Now this has not been an easy decision, I have worked in my current role for a long time and I am very much in my comfort zone. I work with a great group of people and the work is stimulating enough to keep it interesting (I’m a software developer), I get well paid, have flexibility with being able to work from home and I live close to my office – am I mad to leave? Well maybe, my mind has definitely been telling me that (got to love the chatter) but I know in my heart that I am never going to love this job and so I am never going to be amazing at it. I don’t have the enthusiasm for it that I see in some of my work colleagues and I want that passion for something.
So I am starting my Yoga teacher training at the end of this month, Yoga is something I do love and do feel passionate about. Realistically I won’t be making as much money for a while and so I have had to save and we will have to adapt to living on one income for a while but with my 35th birthday approaching I honestly feel like it’s a bit of a ‘now or never’ moment.
I will be leaving work at the end of May and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified but I truly believe it is the right decision and so I have to block out all the chatter and negative vibes and believe in myself (always a tricky one for me). The affect all this is going to have on my mental health has been another really scary consideration for me. Work has always been a very secure anchor in my life and has kept me stable through really hard times but I have to stop my mental health getting in my way and know I am tough enough to do this.
For anyone else thinking about making a similar life changing decision here are a few positive affirmations for you, I know I will be using them a lot in the coming months!
- It is never too late to be what you might have been
- If you ever feel like giving up just remember quitting won’t bring you any closer to your dreams
- Be afraid and do it anyway
- You’re either fighting for your dreams or fighting for your excuses
- Just relax nothing is under control
- The real challenge is to overcome how we view ourselves
- Just a little progress each day adds up to big results
- Be obsessed with your own potential
- If your dreams don’t scare you, they are too small – Richard Branson
- If you never try then you’ll never know what might have been
- Believe in yourself, you got this!
As always, Stay Strong xxx
Conquering OCD 
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