Mental health is like a garden; I really love this analogy.
Mental health is like a garden; I love this analogy.
I have found over the years that I go through peaks and troughs with my mental health, and it is quite often the case that a trough will occur when I’ve become a bit lazy with my ‘gardening’ so to speak.
The ‘weeds’ don’t pop up all at once of course, it’s quite insidious in that respect, but over time they sneak in. Maybe you let one compulsion go or you avoid a situation which might be a bit uncomfortable – because after all one little slip can’t hurt right?
Well here’s the bad news, it can!
Know the brain believes what it sees, it notes down what you do and it’s watching ALL THE TIME! One missed exposure is not just one missed exposure, it’s evidence to your brain that you can’t cope with the situation at hand and so you should do the compulsion, avoid the situation if possible and in the future too – just in case. You can see how this can lead to a spiral effect and how those weeds can take hold.
It can very quickly become a slippery slope and before you know it, you’re snowballing, your obsessions (intrusive thoughts) worsen, the brains monitoring systems ramps up, along with your anxiety. You feel more on edge & you start to loose trust in your own judgement.
‘Last time we did the compulsion and it worked out OK, best do the compulsion again – just in case’.
But if you never give the brain the opportunity to see that you can cope, then how will it ever know?
It’s tough living with OCD and anxiety. Every day can feel overwhelming and it’s hard to be constantly putting yourself out there and sitting with uncomfortable feelings, which let’s be honest are designed by nature to try and stop you doing the uncomfortable thing! We are literally going against our built in mechanisms to stop us doing the scary thing and so it is hard and it’s tiring but it is worth it.
When you get to drive to the shops without worrying about having hit someone on the way, when you can leave the house without having to check the doors multiple times, when you can use public toilets without fear of contamination, when you can hug your child and not worry about doing something inappropriate, when you can cook the tea without fretting you’ll lose control and stab someone, the list is endless.
Maybe some of these resonate with you or maybe you have some other, obsessions (intrusive thoughts), anxieties or fears that hound you daily. Whatever they are, know they are not bigger than you, you can overcome the ‘weeds’ and thrive, but you must live the ERP (Exposure, response, prevention) lifestyle.
It sounds so easy right, ‘just sit with the feelings’, I get it, it’s hard, it’s overwhelming at times, but it is worth it. When you get a moment and your mind is quiet – yes it can happen – when your body feels more relaxed because it’s not in fight or flight all the time, when you can connect with friends and family because you’re not distracted and irritable, it’s worth it. It’s freedom, it’s the best feeling.
So, how do we keep the weeds at bay?
Well some of it comes down to keeping what I like to call ‘The 5 foundations’ in check
Ask yourself now, do I…
- …Sleep enough?
- …Eat well?
- …Move my body everyday?
- …Have good relationships?
- …Allow myself to relax?
All of the above will help build your resilience up so that when you come to your exposures you are in the greatest mental space to deal with them. We need to give ourselves the best chance to sit with the feelings that come up and the 5 foundations will do this for you – know that when they slip you will be more vulnerable to OCD thoughts and ERP (exposure response prevention) will be more difficult.
Making ERP a lifestyle, is important. We should be pushing outside of our comfort zones, just a little bit, each day proving to our brains that we are strong, resilient and that the thoughts are irrelevant.
Know that you are not alone, recovery is slow but not impossible and definitely worth it.
As always,
Stay Strong xxx
stay strong xxx
Conquering OCD 